15 SECRETS ABOUT SUCCESS AT WORK

Why is “Craig” so successful? Why did “Minh” just get that promotion? How did your former colleague land the job you interviewed for last week? After all, your technical skills are superior. Why them? Why not you?

Soft vs. Hard

In most cases, soft skills will beat out hard skills every time. What are soft skills? Soft skills are all the skills that help you to be a good person. Soft skills are the skills that enable your hard skills to shine. If you are a computer, soft skills are the software that makes your hardware (technical skills) run effectively.

Too abstract for you? You want real life examples, something concrete. Here is a list of some of the most important soft skills:

1.       Listening

2.      Politeness

3.      Good manners

4.      Smiles easily and frequently

5.      Easy going

6.      Don’t hit people (includes making threats of violence)

7.      Friendly

8.     Respectful

9.      Shares

10.  Fairness

11.   Put things back where you found them

12.  Clean up your own mess

13.  Don’t take things that aren’t yours

14.  Say you’re sorry when you hurt someone

15.   Follow through

Let’s look at the first one in this list, “Listening.” There are various levels of listening. A first level is listening for what the person is saying. Often times, we are formulating an answer while they are talking. Often times we think this will show how quick-witted we are by how fast we can respond. Just the opposite is true. While you are formulating your response, you are missing the next piece of information. Which can be fatal at work.

The second level is to listen for the true meaning of the conversation. What is said and what is not said all play an important role in understanding what is meant in the conversation. The deepest level of conversation also considers the intention of what is, and is not, said. This level of consideration includes not judging the speaker. We attempt to see their point of view. We are in the present moment, paying attention to all aspects of the communication (words, tone of voice, body language). We are empathetic to the speaker’s feelings and thoughts. We suspend our own thoughts and feelings so our attention focuses on the speaker.

Which level of listening do you do at work? If you think you can multi-task and listen, you aren’t listening.

In a job interview, it is vitally important you at least get to the second level of listening. Interviewers often ask two-part questions. If you only answer the first part of the question, because you didn’t hear the second part, you won’t get the job. If your boss constantly has to repeat what they say to you, you won’t get the promotion.

Good to great listening skills will benefit you at work. More importantly, it will benefit you at home.

Sharing

Let’s look at sharing. There is the obvious, share the copier. But, do you also share the credit? You might be on a team or you might be on a solo project. Do you share the credit for a job well done? Yes, you should be sharing credit even on a solo project. You want to thank your mentor or your boss or the person who gave you the project. Maybe you want to share the credit with your colleague who took you out for coffee when you were stuck. That change of pace, let you come back refreshed and with a new perspective.

Maybe it was the project from hell that no one wanted to do, so you were stuck with it. Make it good and you will shine. Make it game. How can you make it work for you? Hey, solo is solo. That is stand-alone shining. You still share the credit. It still took the department or division or your boss, to let you do the project. An opportunity is an opportunity.

When you work on a team, not everyone is on the same level. Sharing your expertise to help someone else will be noticed. That is also called mentoring. All good. Then when you need someone to share with you, they’ll be more willing. What goes around comes around.

All You Really Need To Know You Learned In Kindergarten

My apologies to Robert Fulghum. (His book, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” is on soft skills). This book is a short read. It is tremendously helpful in laying out what we may have forgotten since kindergarten. Like listening, it appears simple. Like listening, it contains the basic, fundamental information to living your life.

One learns two additional things in kindergarten. Live a balanced life. When you are at work, work. When you are not, turn your attention to what you are then doing. Make time for play. Have some fun. Having a life outside of work makes you are better employee. It makes you a better, happier person too. Hold hands and stick together. Everyone needs someone. Some assembly is required. Companionship is good at home and at work. A trusted colleague, a mentor, a cohort – all will make life easier and more pleasant at work.

Another Perspective

I was at a human resources conference talking with hiring managers. When one of the hiring managers said, “I will always hire good soft skills over good technical skills.” It was unanimous, all heads shook “yes” in agreement. As another person said, “I can train for technical skills. I can’t train someone’s personality.” Take your soft skills seriously. Hiring managers and bosses do.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is a habit.” Aristotle got it right. We are what we do, not just what we think. Practice what you know to be good soft skills. If you need a refresher course, read Fulghum’s book.

This week’s coaching questions:

This is a week to be introspective. Think about who you are to other people. Remember Aristotle? “We are what we repeatedly do.” That is how people know us. Intentions do not count, how we behave is what counts. “Excellence then is a habit.”

1.       As you go through this coming week, be aware as you go through your days. What are your habits? Are they good habits? In other words, do your habits serve you?

2.      Think about your performance at home and at work. Are you consistently doing your best? Ask yourself, “Do I ‘run with scissors’?” Are you following the rules? Do you “play well with others”?

3.      Do your actions match your intentions? How could you do better?

4.      Be brave and ask for feedback. Ask people, “If they could improve just one thing about you, what would it be?”

5.      Take the information you get and evaluate it. Will this change improve you or you for them? Is it something you could do? Will you do it?

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

3 KEYS TO PERSISTENCE

What do you want to happen? Do you have a plan? Are you sticking to the plan? Is your discouragement keeping you from sticking to the plan?

Whatever is in your plans, from getting a new job to obtaining a healthier weight to cleaning the bathroom, persistence is the key to getting the work done and accomplishing your goals. There is an old saying, “plan the work and work the plan.”

It can be hard to “work the plan” when there are a myriad of impediments and reasons that get in the way of getting it done.

Key 1 – Is it YOUR priority?

If it isn’t at the top of your priority list, you won’t get it done. If it isn’t important to you, it just won’t happen. Ask yourself: “Is this important to me? Do I really want to do this?”

If the answer is yes, then focus on the solutions to your goal. Perhaps the reason you see so many impediments, roadblocks and reasons not to do it, are that you are focusing on them, instead of focusing on the solutions. If you don’t really want to do something, you will see every reason not to do it. If you really want to do something, you may not even notice the roadblocks. If you do see them, your perception will be that it is just a bump in the road, not a full-on roadblock.

For example, I’m trying to get to a healthier weight. When invited out brunch, what should be my focus? All the delicious food? The people I’m dining with? Just the healthy, low fat/low calorie food? Right, I should focus on the people I’m with and the food options that will support my goal of a healthy weight. Yes, it means passing up on eggs Benedict (a favorite), but I can eat all the fruit I want. I can have scrambled eggs with asparagus. I focus on the fruit for dessert. When I have reached my target weight, then I’ll come back for eggs Benedict in my skinny jeans!

Key 2 – Don't Worry about Criticism

Do the very best you can with what you have available at the time. That is all anybody can expect. Your best will change over time. Your best will change from moment to moment and day to day. Just do the best you can at that particular time. Under any circumstances, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

When you do your best, you learn to accept yourself. However, be aware and learn from your mistakes. Learning from your mistakes means you practice, look honestly at the results, and keep practicing. You know you are doing your best when you are enjoying the action or doing it in a way that is positive for you and those around you.

Analyze your own mistakes and draw out the lessons you learned. Apply the lessons you learn so you don’t repeat your mistakes. Life is a learning experience. Action is about living fully and expressing what you are is taking action.

Remember too, that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. So if people criticize, ask, “What is this really about? Is it justified? What is the evidence?”

Key 3 – Keeping Your Energy and Spirits High

How do you keep your spirits and energy high? Get enough sleep. Rest before you get tired. Learn to relax. Eat right and exercise. These basics are basics for a reason. This will provide the foundation you need to deal with challenges. If you are rested, you have the brain-power to think of solutions. A creative mind is a rested mind.

If you are tired, if you aren’t eating right, you will not have the physical stamina to be resilient to setbacks and challenges. When you are resilient, you can face challenges and take them in stride. When you are tired, doubt creeps in. Once doubt has a foothold, insecurity moves in and confidence moves out. Then you’ve lost before you really began.

Focus on thing at a time. Give that part of the whole, your full attention. You’ll be surprised and pleased at how fast you’ll move through it. Do things in the order of their importance. That way you’ll always be ready for the next step. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Then move on. Don’t second-guess. Don’t analyze it to death. Just move on to the next part or next step.

Put enthusiasm into your work. As long as you have to do it, do it enthusiastically. See last week’s Resistance is Futile if you have questions. Even if you don’t really feel all that enthusiastic in the beginning, do it wholeheartedly.

This week’s coaching questions:

I sprinkled many questions through out the article to sharpen your thinking. It all comes down to:

What are you doing to make your goal happen?

1.       Write down all your “priorities” now. What number is the goal? Honestly, how much of a priority is it to you?

2.      Are you letting criticism get in your way? Are you consistently doing your best?

3.      Are you focusing on one thing at time, enthusiastically?

4.      Are you planning the work and working your plan?

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

Today I am revisiting a blog entry from December 27, 2009. That article was all about setting (or not) New Year’s resolutions. Here is part of what I said.

“I am going to focus on all the things that I am good at now and improve them. I spent a lot of time trying to improve my weaknesses in 2009. I think now, that I just wasted my time.”

One of the things I didn’t confess to in that article is … procrastination. Yep! Me too. I know, you are shocked. Not ;-)

This weekend, I finally did my 2009 taxes. Technically, I still have four more days to get them done. Spoken like a true procrastinator. I wasn’t as organized as I want to be, and part of doing the taxes is also getting the organizing part done. Therefore, it isn’t just one job, but two. I dragged and dragged my feet. This is the final weekend to get the giant project of two jobs done. I did it. And, as so often happens, it wasn’t so bad a job. I also added about 1% of my time to getting 2010 organized and set up. Thus, I will only have one job to do next year. Yeah!

Several things made my job easier. First, I didn’t waste time judging myself and my previous lack of organization. Instead, as I was doing the organization of receipts and old bills, it allowed my mind to create an organizational system for next year. It was smooth and flowed organically. Almost painless.

“Why work on something I am not good at or is not in my character to do, when I could accomplish so much more by focusing on a strength? I think that by reinforcing my strengths, I will correct some of weaknesses as part of the process.”

This proved to be so true. The lack of blaming freed up my mind just to get on with organizing 2010, as I was organizing 2009. I had set aside both days of the weekend for these projects. Instead, I exceeded my expectations and got a year and a quarter’s worth of bills, receipts, statements and debris cleaned up and organized, plus actually doing the taxes, all in five hours. The only hangover, is the all the shredding I need to do.

We cause so much of our own suffering. Wasting time on blaming myself for past acts does nothing to solve today’s problems. It just preoccupies the mind with errors, omissions, and problems. Letting go of my “bad self,” letting go of judgment, and just working with my “present self,” let me shift from being part of the problem, towards finding and being part of the solution.

“This is not just semantics. It is really a shift in how you see the world and yourself in that world. It is shifting from attacking yourself to accepting yourself. It is shifting from being part of the problem to being the solution. It is shifting away from fear and towards love.”

This shift is huge. The satisfaction of projects well done and tasks fully accomplished is very gratifying. It reinforces my self-respect and self-esteem.

The thing is, if I was coaching a client, I would be demonstrating compassion and tolerance for their foibles. I would tell them to ease up on themselves. Doing this for myself was so much harder. Back in December, I realized I loved others more than I did myself. This shift towards demonstrating loving kindness towards myself, did not promote narcissism or selfishness. It just easily allowed solutions to surface. I was much more efficient and productive. A better human being.

Which leads me back to the title, Resistance is futile. Buddhism believes that our external situation is created by our internal minds. You know you have to do something (2009 taxes in my case). Stalling does not make the job easier. You do it more times in your mind, by procrastinating. That makes the job bigger in your mind, than the reality of doing it. Just get it over with and do it. My reality of doing it was so much easier (and less painful) than my internal procrastination.

“I invite you to think positively too. Instead of trying to change who you are, go with your strengths. Improve the best parts of you and the rest will take care of itself. ”

Whatever you are, be a good one. ~Abraham Lincoln

This week’s coaching questions:

Ponder the three quotes I used at the end of this article.

1.       What is your external situation? How do you create your reality?

2.      List five of your strengths. How can you improve them, so the “rest will take care of itself”?

1)      ________________

2)     ________________

3)     ________________

4)     ________________

5)     ________________

3.      Acknowledge how you are good by putting it in comments below or sending me an email. You would not hesitate to tell someone you love how they are good. Do yourself the same favor.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

WHAT IS THE REAL MESSAGE IS YOUR VOICEMAIL GIVING?

What does your voicemail message tell others? Is it boring? Is it casual? Is it too creative? What message are you really giving to people who call?

Six Guidelines

First, be concerned about safety. Don’t tell too much. I have a friend who lives in a gated community. Uber safe, right? He left a message saying, “Gone to Hawaii. I’ll call you back on the 15^th when I return.” Yep – you guessed it. Someone emptied his house while he was gone. The neighbor said the van came on the 14^th, so they thought it was a delivery from the vacation. Ouch. Lesson, don’t mention your absences. Friends and family know you are gone. No one else needs to know.

Second, don’t over promise. When you say, “I’ll call you in three hours,” you just know people will look at a clock and note when three hours are up. Say instead, “as soon as possible,” or some variation.

Third, we are in the 21^st century. That means you don’t have to mention what everyone already knows about voicemail. They know to leave a message. They know their call is important, or they wouldn’t be calling. They know you can’t come to the phone, you didn’t answer. They know what the beep means.This just takes up valuable time.

Fourth, don’t waste time on meaningless information. “Today is Sunday, April fourth and I’m too busy to answer the phone. Please leave a message at the beep.” Most people know which day of week and the date when they get up in the morning. If you don’t change it every single day, you leave a bad impression. Be brief. A message should only last 15-20 seconds.

Fifth, do be friendly. In the example just above, is that a friendly message? No. Your voicemail message is the impression of you when you’re not there. Say you’ll call back quickly. Say you’re sorry to have missed their call.

Sixth, smile when you record your message. The smile will come through in your tone of voice and improve your message. Honest!

Have others listen to your message and give you feedback. This is a great way to improve your message. Real-life testing of your message.

If you want to be creative, leave a daily thought for the day. You can quote someone else or it can be your own thought. You do have to change it daily (even the weekends) if you are serious about your voicemail and the impression that it leaves. If you want to go further, also say what the quote means to you. Keep it short. Limit your entire message to 40 words (15 seconds) or less.

Your voicemail informs the caller how original you are, how creative you are, and how friendly you are. Or not. It shows how much prep time and thought time you put into your message. And, even though it might be friendly, or lighthearted, it’s a reflection of how serious you are as a professional to be engaging, approachable, and different from others.

Here is a sample voicemail message. What do you think about the person who recorded it?

Hi there! I’m sorry I’ve missed your call. The thought for today is, "Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’." said Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back. I have learned that doing is the most powerful action. I’ll return your call as soon as I am able. Thanks for leaving a message.

Pretty dynamic. Friendly. Complete. Professional. And they thanked me for leaving a message?? Great message all around. I can't commit to daily quotes. I'm just too forgetful. I do, however, change mine weekly. Just to show people I'm alive. ;-)

For This Week

Answer these questions for yourself to improve your voicemail.

1. Listen to your voicemail, how does it compare?
2. Ask five people to judge your voicemail and really listen to the feedback.
3. Ask yourself, how could I improve my voicemail?
4. Are you willing to make a commitment to daily quotes? If yes, then use short ones.
5. Is your message longer than 20 seconds? Improve it now. 

Did I overlook something? Please post a comment on what you like to hear in a voicemail message. Leave a tip that you think is best. Thanks!

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com