THE THREE KEYS TO SUCCESS

How are you doing? How is your job search going? How are you feeling about your chances for getting a job soon? I ask these questions because I care about you and I know what you are going through. I vividly remember my long period of unemployment and how bone-crushingly depressed I could get. There were days when I thought there was a conspiracy to keep me unemployed. Then there were those days when I thought I had completely lost my abilities and would never work again. It felt as though I was not privy to some elusive secret (maybe a secret handshake?).

 

Is this you too? Know this – I did eventually find the exact job I had been looking for in all those months and years of searching. It does happen. More importantly, IT WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU TOO!

 

There are three keys to unlocking the door to success. This includes getting a job. And, not just any job, but a job you actually want. Just follow all three keys consistently and you too will be successful in what ever you pursue.

 

The First Key:

 

1. Knowledge Is Power.
Knowledge about yourself, your family, the job you are applying for and the company in which it is located.

 

What do you really want to do for ten hours everyday? A typical working person thinks about the job, the boss, the company on average about ten hours every day. This includes commute time on the way to and from the job, the lunch hour (at or away from the desk), and reviewing the day with family and friends. If you have a difficult challenge at work (person or project) it can go up from there. Since job security has become a thing of the past, I’ll bet the most recent statistics are even higher.

 

You absolutely cannot learn enough about yourself, your family, the job you are applying for or its company. If you think you know enough about your family, ask someone a question. Why are you surprised? Family is a constant source of surprise and discovery. Go, do some more research.

 

The same holds true for the jobs that you are applying. Learn all you can. You will find out if this truly is the company, you want to invest part of your life working for, in the right job for you. Remember, people learn new things about their employers all the time. You cannot do too much research.

 

Most people spend more time planning their vacations than they do their careers. The time you spend charting your career course will mean you will reach your goals sooner. All the better to set loftier goals for your future. What do you want to do for the next five years? Where do you want to do it? What kind of people do you want to work with? Do you want to work indoors or outdoors? With people, or mostly alone? Do you want to work with data, people or things? There are half a dozen questions just to get you started.

 

2. Attitude Is Everything.
How you think about yourself and what affects you, will affect your outcome. If you think you got up “on the wrong side of the bed today,” you will indeed have a bad day. On the other hand, if you think, “If something bad had to happen today, I’m glad that it is so small.” You will have a good rest of the day.

 

I understand that when you are down it can be very hard to be neutral, never mind go all the way to optimistic. Just put a smile on your face and be cheerful to everyone you meet. Think: “If today was a good day, how would I feel and act?” Then do your best to model those actions. Pretty soon, the feeling will catch up. Honest.

 

Modeling the behavior, you want to have and consciously choosing a good attitude, will last you all day. It might be the difference to your success, or not. You never know who you will meet that could affect your future. Remember, luck is preparation meeting opportunity. If I want to hire you, and I call to set up an interview, I want to hear optimism and confidence in your voice. But, if you are all down and miserable, that will come through your voice also. Worse, that miserable-ness will shoot you in the foot. Part of your preparation is to project the confident-you. This is your moment to display grace under fire. Yes, I’m talking about courage.

 

“Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of attitudes toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.” – Charles Swindoll, psychiatrist.

“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.” – Judith M. Knowlton, US Tennis Player and activist.

3. Be Persistent.
Edison tried over three thousand different materials before he finally found success with carbonized bamboo for a commercially practical light bulb filament. This process took him years of trying, retrying, and reimagining the solutions.

 

“Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison, inventor.

Choose a good attitude, just for today. Stay focused on your goals. Do something, anything, to move closer to your goals today. Learn all you can on what you need to know. Stay in the game. You can do this and you will be successful.

 

This Week’s Coaching:
1. What do you need to know?

• About your job search
• About your résumé and application materials
• About the specific job you are applying for
• About that company
• About yourself and what you want

 2. How will you keep a positive attitude?

• How will you take care of yourself to keep you “up”?
• Get feedback on how you are projecting yourself.

 3. What are you willing to try just one more time?

 

 Let me know what is or is not working for you. Do you think I have provided good advice here? Or am I totally unrealistic? Let me know, I care. Write to me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks!

 

 All things are possible,

 Elisabeth

 

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

 

5 MORE SECRETS OF LUCKY JOB SEEKERS

Last week, I posted Five Secrets of Lucky Job Seekers. This week I give you Five More Secrets. Taken together, this gives ten ways to improve your chances of improving your luck in the job hunt. If you use all ten, you will get a job sooner, rather than later.

The short version of my story is that I know what you are going through as I once had a three-year stint of unemployment. As you now know, I kept busy. I also created new skills and broadened old skills. I will always consider these three years to be an amazing period in my journey through life. It was during this time that I found my dream job – coaching people to find their dream jobs and teaching job search skills.

It is also some of my darkest days. I felt lost and alone in an extended unemployment and seemingly, unable to get a job. I could find a job, many times “dream jobs” for everyone but me. What was wrong?

What was wrong is that I didn’t have me as a coach. I gave great advice. It was when someone (trying to be funny) said, “You need to coach yourself and take your own advice.” I did just that and got a training job within three months.

Below are my final five tips to imbue yourself with greater resiliency in your job hunt and that in turn will make you lucky. They do require a bit of work and persistence. All are winners in making you prepared, so you can be lucky.

“Luck is preparation meeting opportunity.” This statement by Oprah Winfrey still resonates with me. You can get the luckiest break in the world, but if you aren’t ready for it, it isn’t your lucky break.

6. Connect People Together
This is essentially networking. If you hate networking and are therefore, reluctant to do it, Get over it already. Here, in the 21st Century, employers are slow to hire. When they do hire, they want a sure thing. Someone they don’t know is not a sure thing. They are an “unknown quantity.” If Bob introduces you, you are still essentially unknown. However, they do know Bob and all his good qualities reflect back on you. That makes you more of a sure thing. That is why networking – works.

“If you know many different types of people, you will hear about many more opportunities,” Malcolm Gladwell says. “Sociability, energy, and openness breed luck.”

“Connectors” are sociable people who come across “lucky” situations because they are likeable and know very many people, according to Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. They’re essentially people who have mastered the art of networking. “Connectors” interact with big groups of influential people who have access to vital contacts and information. You don’t have to orchestrate a big social situation, but networking isn’t rocket science. All you need to do is be conscientious of other people and industry news. Send an e-mail about a news item to a new acquaintance or write a birthday card for your old boss. Simple. When networking, it’s the little things that count.

7. Be Optimistic
See the glass as half-full. To have the mindset of a “lucky” person, you must have an optimistic perspective of not just the future and your current situation, but of your past as well, says Matthew Smith, professor of psychology at Liverpool Hope University in England and co-author of a 1998 study on luck.

In this study, researchers found there was a positive correlation between considering oneself “lucky” and the propensity to remember more of the good things that happened to them rather than the bad. Smith found that when something bad happens to these “lucky” people now, they still think that even though it’s bad, the situation is better than the worst that could have possibly happened.

8. Stay Realistic
Now you’re connected, optimistic, spontaneous, and prepared. Woo hoo, lady luck is here! Not so fast. Literally. Patience and persistence are the keys to being a truly “lucky” person. Connections and relationships take time to build. Give them the time to grow and produce fruit.

If you’ve been negative, it takes time for people to realize and respond to the “new and improved” positive you. It takes time for you to develop a consistently positive approach to life. These changes take time. Give them time.

9. Have a Plan
Have a plan for your job hunt. Set realistic goals for yourself, like “At the job fair, I will introduce myself to someone who works at Citibank.” Or “I will make three new vital connections in the next month.” See my recent article for two approaches to goal setting.

The framework of your plan should be robust and set a clear direction. Within that framework, your goals should be adaptable to new situations in which you find yourself. I have a friend who has been out of work for a little over two years. He considered teaching high school science. He felt the year and a half of additional college work needed to add to his B.S. to get his teaching credential was “too long.” He could be teaching in September, if he had carried out his plan. He could have been flexible enough to take another job, if one had presented itself.

10. Assemble a Support Group
Create a group of people that you can rely upon to keep you upbeat and focused on a successful job hunt. I suggest adding a person who is also looking for your type of job to the mix. Make this person your “job search buddy.” Share job leads with each other. Go to job fairs together. Compare notes.

Help this person get a job. By helping this person get a job, you will get a job. Guaranteed.

You can do this. Job search is hard. If you let it, job hunting can suck your soul dry. The gentleman, Robert Mathis, in the newspaper article is quoted saying, “Finding a job is the hardest job you can do.” So true. Keep working your résumé. The only perfect résumé is the one that gets you a job. What works for one hiring manager, may not work for another. Go to your local career center for retraining. Sign up with a local temporary staffing agency, and volunteer. All these are proactive steps you can take.

Most importantly, find and do things that make you happy. Cook a meal, garden, take a walk or whatever else makes you happy. Remember, just as you are not your job title, you are not this situation. This is what is happening to you. You are still that great person with valuable skills you have always been. You can do this.

This Week’s Coaching:
1. Answer the following questions. Be honest with yourself.
• Are you prepared for opportunity?
• What else can you do to be better prepared?
• More prepared?
• Seek feedback on how others see your attitude and demeanor. Make sure your inner optimism is on display.
• Make a list, and every week add at least two people that you have connected.
• What have you done to make yourself happy?
• Do you have a job search buddy? Why not?

Let me know what is or is not working for you. What is the best tip someone ever gave you? What is the worst? Let me know, I care. Write to me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks!

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

5 SECRETS OF LUCKY JOB SEEKERS

Recently, in my local newspaper, there was a front-page Business section article on people who are long-term unemployed. The definition of long-term unemployed is six months or longer. The statistics for the long-term unemployed are the highest they have been in 62 years (not just in sheer numbers, but also in percentage of the workforce that is unemployed). During the last “recession” in 1983, 2.6% of the work force was long-term unemployed. Today it is 4.3 %. Is this you, or someone you know? Help is here.

 

I know what you are going through. I was once unemployed for three years (03/2000 – 12/2002). I must confess that I didn’t seriously look for work the entire time. Some time was spent going through the grief of losing my job and then later on of being unemployed. I also took chunks of time out to do other things that ultimately made my life richer and provided great satisfaction.

 

One of the things I choose to do was provide hospice care. Just before I lost my job to downsizing, my mother was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. Suddenly, I had lots of time to be able to care for her. I was no longer constrained by a job with when I could visit her or for how long. Rather than hire a stranger, something my parents were reluctant to do, I volunteered to help care for my mother. I saw it as a time to make a partial payment to Mom for all that she did for me in raising me. I found this time to be profoundly spiritual and yes, uplifting.

 

Another thing I did during this time was join a volunteer job search group. I did every “job” offered, from answering the phone to teaching classes to becoming president of the organization. I initially joined the Education committee to teach the courses in job search that we offered. I did that to overcome my fear of public speaking. I blossomed in this group. People sought me out to help them not just find a job, but to help them find their dream job. My natural leadership was noted and I was elected president repeatedly for over a year and a half.

 

I am not telling you my history of this period, to give you my résumé. I tell you this, to illustrate what I did to keep busy and productive. Yes, there is a “paid work” gap on my résumé and applications, but I can also demonstrate what I did and what skills I used and developed to employers during these three years. I also know down in my bones how it feels to be out of work for so long that it feels like you have lost a piece of who you are. I know how your self-worth takes a dive.

 

Below are my first five tips to imbue yourself with greater resiliency in your job hunt and that in turn will make you lucky. I am only providing tested and proven tips. Some things sound good, but really don’t make a difference. The tips below have proven to make a difference.

 

As Oprah Winfrey has said:

“Luck is preparation meeting opportunity.”

I think we can all agree she is one lucky person. That is because LUCK does not rely on the plans of the universe or fate. Luck is all about the way you think, your outlook on life and what you see in that life.

 

1. Truly Believe You Will Be Lucky
Start living life from the perspective of a “lucky” person, and maybe you’ll come across that opportunity for an interview or meet the person you need to know to get that job. Do you actually believe the phrase, “Mind over matter?” All those self-help coaches, like me, telling you to “Stay positive! Be optimistic!” may be annoying and seem disingenuous, but we are onto something.

 

“If you believe you are fortunate much of the time, you are likely to exhibit behavior that makes people more responsive to you,” says Martin Seligman, professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and author of Authentic Happiness.

To get in the right mindset of a “lucky” job seeker, you truly have to believe in the likelihood of good things happening to you. People like to be around upbeat, positive people. When you look for the positive, you are more likely to recognize the door of opportunity when you see it.

 

2. Be Grateful for What You Do Have
First of all, to whom do you compare yourself? Wrong! Compare yourself only to yourself. Look at all you DO have. Be grateful for that. Be grateful for the people in your life. Be grateful you know technology and are able to navigate to this blog article. If you found me, what else, who else, can you find to help you? Start a gratitude journal. Five things. Every. Day. Preferably, find five different things everyday. Repetition is allowed after two years.

“Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.” – Helen Keller

If you’re constantly comparing your life with the lives of others, of course you’re going to feel unlucky! However, winning the lottery or getting a job does not guarantee happiness or luck. Often, lottery winners are miserable from the media attention and all the people seeking handouts. How happy were you at your last job? Maybe that “sweet” job you applied for isn’t so sweet.

 

The grass always seems to be greener on the other side, but always keep in mind, just because something might seem great for somebody else, it doesn’t exactly mean it’d be great for you too. You need to travel your own path, not somebody else’s. That is a very good thing.

 

3. Stay Positive
Some luck-inhibiting emotions are resentment, anger, jealousy, bitterness, blaming, criticizing or shyness. People want to help you. But, if you show these emotions, they will run away. No one likes to be brought down by others.

 

Notice when negative emotions arise. If possible, avoid those situations that bring up these feelings. Consciously choose a positive emotion to counter it. For example, another rejection comes to your email. Don’t think, “I’ll never get a job.” Instead, think, “At least this one was well written.”

“It is one thing to feel these negative emotions but another to show them. If you recognize what triggers these emotions — recognize that you tend to get upset in these situations — you can take steps to defuse or overcome them before they are expressed.” Raymond DePaulo, chair of psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and author of Understanding Depression.

 

You’ll be more optimistic, confident, and extroverted — all qualities people find attractive.

 

4. Embrace Spontaneity (Opportunity)
Keep an open mind to the random events that happen and the random people you meet in your life. See every instance as a potential situation for improving your luck. Look for the opportunity in these events.

“Always keep your options open and be prepared to make mistakes,” says John Krumboltz, professor of education at Stanford University. “You get more in life when you are willing to learn than closing everything out.”

Striking up a conversation with a person in the grocery line can be the start of an important networking relationship with someone who may know of a job opening in your area of expertise. Taking a new route, hanging out with a different social group, or even attending something you come across randomly — all of these spontaneous events can easily pave the way to new “luck” and opportunity.

 

5. Be Prepared
OK. You’re embracing spontaneity and looking for opportunity. Nothing is happening for you. Before you go, “Ah-HA!” Ask yourself, “Am I prepared for opportunity?” The opportunity in these random and your other everyday events will only work for you if you are prepared. Imagine you strike up a conversation with the woman sitting next to you on the airplane and find out she’s a marketing manager at a company you’d love to work at. Yep, opportunity is knocking!

 

Are you prepared to impress her with all your knowledge about that company or industry? Do you have interesting and intelligent questions prepared about the workplace culture and industry news? Do you have a good elevator speech to highlight your skills, knowledge and abilities? Or, are you going to fake your way through it or not even bother telling her you’re looking for a job in her field? That is missed opportunity.

 

If you’re prepared, this chance encounter could be a major break and a giant step toward your dream job. If not, well, sadly, but there may not be a next time.

 

You can do this. Job search is hard. If you let it, job hunting can suck your soul dry. The gentleman, Robert Mathis, in the newspaper article is quoted saying, “Finding a job is the hardest job you can do.” So true. Keep working your résumé. The only perfect résumé is the one that gets you a job. What works for one hiring manager, may not work for another. Go to your local career center for retraining. Sign up with a local temporary staffing agency, and volunteer. All these are proactive steps you can take.

 

Most importantly, find and do things that make you happy. Cook a meal, garden, take a walk or whatever else makes you happy. Remember, just as you are not your job title, you are not this situation. This is what is happening to you. You are still that great person with valuable skills you have always been. You can do this.

 

This Week’s Coaching:
1. Answer the following questions. Be honest with yourself.

•  Are you prepared for opportunity?
• What else can you do to be better prepared?
• More prepared?
• Seek feedback on how others perceive your attitude and demeanor. Make sure your inner optimism is on display.

 2. Begin, or resume, a Gratitude Journal. Write down five things you are grateful for every day. Don’t repeat items. Find new things everyday. You know you have turned a corner, when you become grateful for adversity. Or, the return of the ordinary.

 

3. Ensure you do something just for you, every day. Self-care is an important part of keeping your enthusiasm and optimism up. It is just like the skates you had as a child. When you didn’t take care of them (put them away, oil and clean them) they rusted out and you couldn’t skate anymore. Take care of yourself, so you don’t rust out.

 

Let me know what you are doing for self-care. I am planning an article on self-care and need some additional ideas or tips that you could share. Things that are low cost would be most beneficial. Write to me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks!

 

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

 

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

HOW’S YOUR MOJO?

One of my favorite rock bands, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, recently released a new album. MOJO. Back in June, I saw them in Oakland (5 June – the start of their tour). Ironically, Tom lost his mojo with the crowd when he launched into the new MOJO music set. This isn’t a concert review. I bring this up, because I have lost my mojo recently. As I listened to the Mojo album, it reminded me of the concert.

Tom Petty has a professional team to assist in planning the concerts. Moreover, Tom is a seasoned professional, who knows how to put on a great show. If seasoned professional can lose his mojo, anyone can. Today is about how life can get in your way and you lose your mojo.

Mojo – Defined
For those unfamiliar with the term mojo, it has several meanings. The ones I am using are “to have or to use one’s momentum.” And “one’s personal energy or charisma.” Mojo originally comes from hoodoo (different from voodoo) and it is the staple amulet of African-American hoodoo practice, a red flannel bag containing one or more magical items. The word is most likely related to the West African word "mojuba," meaning a prayer of praise and homage. It is a "prayer in a bag" - a spell you can carry. From the Urban dictionary I found it can also be a description of personal charisma or energy; "luck" (or more commonly "bad mojo" as in "bad luck"); sex appeal or talent.

When someone says, “They are on a roll!” You know “they” have mojo. There are other meanings for Mojo. Mother Jones has an iPhone app called MoJo. Marshall Goldsmith has a book, MOJO, How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It back If You Lose It. For him, Mojo is the moment when we do something that's purposeful, powerful, and positive and the rest of the world recognizes it. I think we all understand “mojo” and what it means, it just maybe hard for us to describe.

Right now, I have no momentum. My personal energy is a minus five on a ten-scale. Charisma? Puh-leeze! Zip. Zero. Nada.

It Is All About the Learning
I have a problem of beating myself up when things don’t go as planned or as envisioned. It is something I am working on. (See previous post) The new album was a gift in two ways for me. One, new TP&THB music. Yeah! Two, it stopped the self-abuse I was heaping on myself for the troubles I was going through. I remembered the loss of momentum during the concert. Tom did get it back. He recognized its loss. From the stage Tom said, “Ok, that’s enough new stuff. Let’s get back to what you came to hear.”

The important take away for me is: If professional concert planners can plan and organize everything, and still lose momentum during a concert; why am I beating myself up for losing momentum in the much bigger arena of life? A concert is scripted in many ways. Life? Not so much.

It isn’t the mistakes you make; it’s when you don’t learn from your mistakes, that you fail. So what have I learned?

1.) Acknowledge the loss of momentum out loud. With an artist like Tom, even though he had good NEW music to play, he recognized that on this night, the crowd wanted the old favorites and to sing along. He really seemed taken aback when the crowd went silent as he played the new music. He acknowledged that and reassured the crowd what was next. For me, it was acknowledging out loud, that things are not going well to my partner in accountability. Saying it out loud to someone was surprisingly difficult.

2.) Have a plan in the first place. Tom actually played his set as it had been planned (I’ve seen the set list). When the plan didn’t go over well, he made a mental note. I know this because I saw the look he gave other members of the Heartbreakers. For me, my plan now needs to be ditched and reworked. This is hard. I had much invested in the old plan.

3.) I am trying to mine my old plan for its flaws, wrong judgments and errors. It is difficult to do that with something you have invested a lot of yourself. You become blind to its reality. Thus, I have turned to a neutral third party. This has been very helpful. Sometimes she is just a sounding board and as I talk/explain, it becomes obvious (to both of us) what is a better solution.

Getting My Mojo Back – Part 1
Getting your (my) mojo back is a multistep process. First, you have to define what is right for you. You do that by knowing who you are. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” And, “How do I see myself?” A part of that is defining what your values are and what values you will never compromise. For long-time readers: how is your values list coming along? A little coaching help here is start each sentence with, “I am …” This is not about how others (spouse, co-workers, family, friends, etc.) see you. It is all about how you see yourself. Mojo is a very personal thing. If you can’t define yourself, you can’t define and then find your mojo.

Defining yourself can be tricky. “I want to be the person who …” often gets in the way of “I am the person who is/does …” Really search your life events for clues about who you really are. If you don’t have many life events maybe you are “risk averse” or “afraid of the unknown.” Be careful not to judge yourself on your intentions, instead of your actions.

Part of my challenge is that I became my plan. I didn’t set boundaries as to what is me and what was my plan. Thus, when my plan failed, I failed. It is hard to get up out of the muck of failure. It keeps sucking me down, like when you lose your shoe in mud. Your foot comes out, but the shoe stays stuck in the mud. You are not your plans. You are not your failed plans. Repeat after me: “I am not my plans. I am not my failed plan.” (I feel a little better, how about you?)

Now that you know who you are, go forth and find out what your character is among your co-workers, family and friends. This is where others tell you what they see as your actions. You know the old saying, “actions speak louder than words.” What have your actions said to people? How do they define you?

Speaking of actions, what are your recent accomplishments? What has gotten you accolades at work? At home? As you think about your accomplishments, don’t confuse difficulty with accomplishment. I have a tendency to dismiss my accomplishments with, “Everybody can see/do that.” So I don’t always tell people what I see or what I do. I don’t see it as something special. After all, why state the obvious?

Just because something is easy for you, doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable. It might be easy for you to write a memo about a process improvement that is obvious to you. It might be the most valuable thing you do this year. As you compile your accomplishments think also about the impact your accomplishment has made.

Now think about what you can and cannot change. That is acceptance of “what is,” also known as reality. “The Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr begins, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” Assess your reality, take a deep breathe, maybe a little sigh of regret, and accept it. It is, what it is. No matter how pretty your rose-colored glasses, it is, what it is. This may be one of your greatest challenges. I know it is mine.

On the surface, it should be easy. But if you ask, “why me?” or “it isn’t fair.” You are just resisting reality. You are not accepting something. Fairness has nothing to do with it. My plans went awry. I must accept that. If I don’t, I’ll become bitter about what might have been. In some circles that is also known as baggage. I have enough baggage, thank you. I don’t need more.

This is just plain, old disappointment. Yes, I am too smart (and I’m sure you are too) to plan stupidly. But hey, it happens. Now is when I must use my “courage to change the things I can.” What can I change? Me! And my plans. Ahhh, “wisdom to know the difference.”

I am not going to let a single setback ruin my life. Are you letting a setback disrupt your life? Are you playing the ‘blame-game’ of who really is at fault? That is not productive. Change what you can. Figure out what went wrong, and get on with it already. You cannot change the past. Learn the lesson and let it go.

Getting My Mojo Back – Part 2
I find as I talk to people, that our perception of things affects us more than the reality of things. Another way of saying that is: Attitude is Everything. My perception is that I have lost my mojo. “Peter” came up to me the other day and said he admired what he called my momentum. He is not “in the loop” of my failed plans. He said I was doing great and keep up the great work. Huh? I thought “failure” was written in red and all caps on my forehead. Maybe my mojo is just on pause.

What throws me off track may not faze you at all. What is a chore to me (e.g., exercising) may be a joy for you. My joy of gardening may be your chore. Norman Vincent Peele said, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” That is why learning the lesson from your setback and then trying again, with this new information to guide you, is success. Yes, success is a journey, not a destination.

I am changing my attitude. I am in the midst of a recovery process. This not just semantics. By modifying my attitude and focusing on the recovery (not the setback), it is much easier to think about ways to do it better next time. I am able to let go of the pain. I am able to let go, and not be bitter. I have mapped out the pitfalls. I am changing what I can – me. I am getting prepared. I am learning to accept. How about you?

This Week’s Coaching:
Everything begins with learning you are. So. Who are you? Write it down. What do others think of you? Write that down. How do the lists compare? Are there any contradictions that concern you?

What have you done lately? Think about the ease, or not, for you of the accomplishment and the impact of your accomplishment on work or at home.

What do you need to accept? It is, what it is. How are you going to deal with reality? Write down your plan. Make it so.

Let me know how your life’s journey is going for you. I'm curious, what helps you? What are your challenges? Send me an email, or enter a comment below and let me know how this exercise works for you. I’d love to know. Thanks!

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

BE SMART AND IT’S A WRAPP

I was cleaning out the garage and came upon some old notes about setting goals. Now that I am done with all that cleaning fun (yeah, right), I thought I’d share my notes with you. The notes are pre-1989. Yes, they are vintage! But, I think this different angle on setting goals may resonant with you.

Both methods use an acronym to keep the process memorable.

SMART Goals
First, what are we doing here in the 21st Century? We are all about SMART goals. You know:

Specific – Have a narrow scope for your goal. If your goal is huge, use smaller goals to get to the big one. E.g., “get a job” is too big of a goal. Break it down into “send out 10 résumés per week tailored for each job posting” is a better goal. Is this something you can accomplish?

Measureable – Find a way to measure your progress. You want to be able to see and measure your progress. The above “ten résumés” nails this requirement.

Achievable – Ensure your goal is in your control. Yes, it passes the test. Sending out résumés is entirely in my control. The quantity could be problematic. How many job openings do you really find? Is it possible for you to succeed at this goal?

Resonate – Does your goal excite you? Do you really want to do this? If you don’t want a job, then this is not your goal. It might be a family member’s goal for you. Who is driving this goal? If it isn’t you, change the goal!

Time-bound – Have deadlines. In the job search, sending out ten résumés per week might be a stretch in this economy. You might only find five opening per week. When will you do it and when will you finish it?

“I’ll publish my book.” This goal is not in my control. That makes it unachievable. It is not specific enough either. It does resonate with me. Sending it to 10 publishers is in my control and is achievable. Sending it out to 10 publishers by September 15th ensures it will get done. That’s a SMART goal.

WRAPP Goals

There are multiple words for each letter. Here they are:

W – Willing, wants

R – Readiness, risk
A – Abilities, assets
P – Possibilities, predictions
P – Probabilities (future)

Create alternatives to what you are currently doing or what is currently available. Get information and be broad in your application. For example, you want to be a teacher. But, a broader view means you could teach in public schools and private schools.

Using the acronym, define your problem. Gather all the information you need to find a way to move forward. When you have two or a bunch of alternatives, begin narrowing them down. Take action on your alternative of choice. Review the decision. Take responsibility for your decision – right or wrong. Take responsibility for making the decision and in acting on the decision. Keep on track. If wrong, start again with the new information you have now gained.

Here are some questions to assist you in WRAPP-ing up your goals.

• What are you willing to do?
• What do you want to do?
• Are you ready right now?
• What do you need to become ready?
• What risks will you take to achieve your goal?
• What abilities do you have (or need to learn) to accomplish your goal?
• What assets do you have (or need to obtain) to accomplish your goal?
• What are the possibilities that are available to you or that you see to accomplish this goal. Let’s say you want to be a teacher. Both public school and various private schools are possibilities for you to teach.
• Can you predict what the outcome of different paths will be for you?
• What is the probability of this working out for you in the way you have imagined?

Let’s expand the teaching scenario for Pat.

• Pat is willing to teach high school. Pat enjoys kids, so she can say she wants to do it. However, Pat is not ready to teach.
• Pat is ready to go to school and get the teaching credential. During her information gathering, she found out that her BS degree (biology) plus one year more of a full-time class-load will get her a teaching credential. She is willing to take the risk of going back to school full-time and live on the one paycheck her spouse brings home. Is Pat’s spouse on board with her goals and the risk?
• Pat has the ability to accomplish her goal. She feels she has the assets (some savings, unemployment insurance and a student loan) to accomplish her goal.
• Is the only possibility to go back to school for a credential? She could take the C-Best test and become a substitute teacher in biology or general education. She could sub while going back to school. A private school uses only C-Best teachers, but the pay very low there.
• Can Pat predict the out come of both paths? Going back to school full time seems to be easier with the two children and her husband to care for at the same time. Substitute teaching looks like a bigger risk (no unemployment and unknown how often she’ll be called to teach).
• What is the best probable outcome for her? Pat decides to go to school full-time. Since no one at the school district knows her, she feels she won’t be called often enough. Pat decides to contact several schools to network. She thinks this will also provide useful information as she prepares for her new future.

Whether you WRAPP up your goals or make them SMART, here are two techniques for you to use. Two more tools for your toolbox. Both methods will help you make better and more informed decisions.

If you make a mistake – it is OK. You did the best you could, with what you knew at the time. That is how you learn. When you first started to walk, you made many mistakes. You fell all the time. It was OK. It was expected. You lived through it. I’m sure Mom or Dad have cute stories about it too. The important part is that you kept trying until you were successful.

It isn’t the mistake; it is what you do afterwards that counts. If the mistake makes you curl up in a ball and not try again – that is wrong. If it makes you want to try again – that is right. Examine your mistakes, decide what you need to learn from them, let them go and move onwards and upwards. People who don’t make mistakes don’t do things. You are doing and trying. All good.

This Week’s Coaching

Set some goals. Use one method for some, and the other for the rest. Let me know which method appeals to you. Which method will you actually use? Which method worked best for you?

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com