HOW TO NOT GET RUN OVER

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

Will Rodgers

A common image of a leader is that of a person standing in front of a group of people giving instructions. Think of Colin Powell standing at the front of the troops or giving a press release. The man commands attention. He is a real leader, not just “on the organizational chart” type of leader. He is not going to get run over.

How do you rate yourself as a leader? Whether you are just starting out in your career, or are a seasoned professional, you can be a leader. The more you demonstrate leadership in your job, the greater chance you’ll promote up into a leadership job. Not everyone is cut out to be a leader. Some seem to be “natural leaders.” Where are you on the leadership continuum; down at “wanna-be,” all the way up to “undisputed” or somewhere in the middle?

On Following

To be a great leader, you first have to be a great follower. You read that right! If you can’t follow, you can’t lead. Most people don’t want to be followers, but they do want to be led. Everyone is a little of both, because everyone has a boss. What are the attributes of a great follower? Here are a few characteristics:

• Humble
• Patient
• Creative
• Disciplined
• Persistent
• Flexible
• Confident

Hmmm. This list looks suspiciously like a list of qualities we seek and hope to find in a great leader. Until you can master these qualities as a follower, you can’t make the leap to leadership.

Look around you. No matter where you go or what you do, you will find leaders at every level of the organizational hierarchy. What qualities do they possess? Some of the above, I’m sure. But, what else did they have that made them leaders? That is your real-life example of a leader. What qualities that they have can you adopt? What qualities do you have trouble adopting, never mind mastering? This is your on-the-job training opportunity for leadership.

Leadership Excellence

How do you learn leadership skills and then put that into effect in your career? Easy, you demonstrate excellent leadership to the most important person in the world. Yourself.

Your ability to lead you is reflected everyday in the job you do, the relationships you have with co-workers or family and friends. In order to lead yourself, you must be a follower of yourself. Can you follow your own lead?

What exactly do I mean? Answer the following questions with yes, sometimes/maybe or no answers. Give yourself 3 points for each yes, 2 points for each maybe/sometimes, and 1 point for each no.

1.   Do you always do what you say you will do?

2.   Do you communicate with clarity and understanding to the level of your audience?

3.   Do you make people feel at ease with you?

4.   Is your attitude positive and optimistic?

5.   Do you know your job and what is expected of you?

6.   Are you willing to help others?

7.   Are you prepared to do your job every day?

8.   Are you using your sense of humor to break down barriers and connect with others?

9.   Are you creative at finding solutions to challenges?

10. Are you sincere in your efforts and relationships?

11. Do you have a good reputation?

12. Do you embrace change?

13. Are you willing to proceed (on a decision or project direction), even if it is the unpopular choice?

14. Are you consistent in all these elements?

How did you score? A perfect score is 42.

39 – 42           You are great leadership material

34 – 38          Good leadership potential

24 – 33           You’ve got more work to do than you think

17 – 23           You are not even a good follower

16 or less       The boss maybe thinking about sending you to HR!

So, don’t just sit there dreaming about becoming a leader. You have to “walk the talk” and start doing the things that leaders do. You start by leading yourself. This is about your personal journey to achieve 42 on the above assessment in leading yourself. If you do an excellent job there, the boss and your co-workers will notice. The closer you get to scoring 42, the more opportunities will come your to demonstrate your leadership to a wider and wider audience. Perhaps, someday, you’ll even be the CEO. It’s possible!

Need help getting to 42? Don’t hesitate to call me, get on the right track, and move towards scoring 42 on your leadership. You don’t want to get run over by not taking action.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund eal@EALCoaching.com

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail:

5 EASY STEPS TO MANAGING CHANGE

“Map out your future, but do it in pencil.” – Jon Bon Jovi

What kind of advice is that? What I want to emphasize is the importance of staying flexible. Change happens. It is really the only constant in your life. Each person has a unique reaction to change. Some people embrace change, some to the point of seeking it out. For those who accept change reluctantly, if at all, that is a radical concept. Where are you on the scale? “1” hates change, “3” is neutral to change, “5” embraces change:

1 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 5

Just as everyone reading this article, will have a different reaction to change, so it is true for the people you supervise. It is important to realize the variety of reactions you will get when you go to implement a change. When you have big changes, you also get big reactions. So what is a manager to do?

No matter the reason for the change, it is important to consider and involve your staff. They see you as having all the information. They have no information, but they do have rumor and imagination. These are trying times we live in. Bad news is all over media. When people are in the dark, they imagine the worst.

Here is a five-step process to help navigate through the change in a least scathed manner. Change is hard for some people. They will not change without a fight. Be prepared for that, and you’re halfway there.

Communication

First and foremost, is you must communicate. Tell the truth, the WHOLE truth. That is how you build trust. Tell staff everything you know. If you don’t know, say that. Do NOT make something up just to give them an answer. Knowledge is power, so you are empowering your staff by giving them information. Be transparent. Address resistance as it pops up. It isn’t going to go away. Focus on solutions, the good this change will bring. Actively listen to staff. Being heard is vital to them, now more than ever. A great way to involve employees is to solicit feedback. What do they see as the positives? What do they see as the best way to address some of the challenges?

The main things employees want to know are just three things:

1. What is changing?

2. What will actually be different because of the change?

3. Who is going to lose what?

If you address these issues honestly and openly, you will keep most of your staff. Be aware this change might be just what motivates someone to seek other employment. That’s good. They wouldn’t be part of the solution anyway. I’m sure these were the questions on your mind too, when you first heard about the change. Start an inventory of the barriers to productivity as you move through the changes. What is preventing you moving forward?

Help Them Let Go

Identify who is losing what. What are they really losing? It maybe colleagues or a process they enjoy. Whatever it is, expect subjective reactions. Be prepared for over-reactions. Remember, their world of work is shifting under their feet. They will need time to adjust. Be empathetic, their loss is real to them. Even if it is a change to a process that “everyone” hates, it is familiar to them, whereas, the change is unknown.

Grief

Expect them to grieve their loss(es). Learn about grief and learn the signs. There are five stages to grief in the respected Kübler-Ross [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Stages_of_Grief ] model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). People will walk around, not smiling, no joking in the halls. To help them (and thus you) define what is over. Mark the endings (this is our last …). Treat the past with respect. It is their work, don’t minimize the effort. There was good in the old, just like there will good in the new. Let people take a piece of the old with them; an old job duty or, if a move is involved, an object. Allow time for healing to take place. Don’t rush the process; let the process be your friend. Finally, don’t mistake grief for low morale.

Transitions

As you transition between the old and the new, develop a strategy for change that takes into account the initial resistance. As the change moves through its stages, keep everyone up-to-date. These progress reports will be very helpful in allaying fears in your staff. Evaluate what has happened thus far. If you or the company needs to make a course correction, include that in your progress reports. If you know why, include that too. Support calculated risk-taking by your staff. It may not be the exact change you anticipated, but it may be better at the end of the day. Look for opportunities to brainstorm. Nobody has all the correct answers. Brainstorming will also inform you of perceived obstacles by your staff. Then you can inform people with what you know or include these into your course corrections. Transitioning is a process, too. Don’t rush for closure too soon. Let the process be your friend.

Build New Relationships

Help to build a new employee relationship. Eliminate non-essential tasks. Provide a participatory environment with employee voices and choices. I know, this may be scary and uncharted territory for you. The rewards are worth it. So let go of your need to control. Trust your staff, just as they trust you. Settle into the new ways and rhythms before doing any long-term career planning. To make your performance and reward system relevant, ask staff, “How do you want to be rewarded?” Money may not be the carrot they want.

What else?

What else can you do? Avoid the “all or nothing” thinking that often accompanies trauma. Change is traumatic. Be gentle, but firm with people. Stay consistent. That way you maintain a stable appearance. Practice self-care and manage your stress. That will help you stay consistent and stable. Behave like someone we respect.

Find and communicate the good side to the change. “Change your thoughts, and you change your world” (Norman Vincent Peale). When you believe this change is for the better, your staff will (finally) believe you. Capitalize on the WIIFM syndrome (what’s in it for me?). You will get more of what you want by finding a way to give people more of what they want. This is an opportunity for decision-making. Listen carefully and use it wisely. As the saying goes, “Even a broken clock is right twice a day.” Trying to lift morale after a big change is like putting a band-aid on a broken arm. Not so effective is it? Let people process through their grief at their pace. You’ll know when they are ready to move on. Seize that moment and capitalize on it. Do an inventory of what you do control. Then let go of what you can’t control. That’s a move towards sanity all by itself.

            “Hope is not a strategy. We have to plan.” (Dr. Julie Gerberding)

Don’t hope for the best. PLAN for the best outcome, and you’ll get it.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

3 WAYS TO WIN AT A CAREER FAIR

The economy must be improving, because I’ve noticed some announcements for career fairs. Yeah! How do you succeed at a career fair?

Let’s start with: what is a career fair? It is a place where many employers come together to look for prospective employees. The companies that attend have a need for people to come and work for them. They usually send the recruiter from the human resources department to work the fair. What exactly does this mean for you? It means they are looking for that one person to stand out from the crowd and be their answer to a job they have open.

This article is all about how YOU can be the answer to the company’s open job.

One: Be Prepared

When you enter a career fair, it will be crowded. People will probably be jostling each other. How do you stand out in this crowd? It starts at least two days prior to the job fair. In the notice are usually the top (meaning biggest) employers. See if you can find a more complete list. Then research those employers (big and small) that you want to work for in your field or job category. These are your target companies. Look at the “Jobs” page of these companies. Is there anything you qualify for there? Create a targeted résumé just for that job. If your job isn’t there, create a résumé for the job you want at that company. Put the company name in a cover letter to go to that company for that job at the job fair. Repeat for the top five to ten companies you qualify for and for where you want to work. Also, print out a few résumés that are more generic for other companies you discover at the fair.

This research will impress the recruiter. A mistake as simple as mispronouncing the name of the company, can be deadly. By knowing, how you can provide value to the company will sell you to the recruiter. It demonstrates you know for what they are looking. And, at an even more basic level, what they do and their concerns.

When you are at the target company booth at the career fair, be sure to meet the recruiter. Say your name slowly and understandably. Shake their hand and look them in the eye. Be pleasantly memorable. Ask for their business card (to send a follow up question, thank them for their time at the job fair and to remind about you to a specific job. Attach your résumé too.). Give them yours (another piece of paper to remind them about you). Talk about how your experience and skills match the job openings you researched. Ask about others that may not be posted online. If they have the time, ask when they anticipate interviewing for the job you targeted and one of those follow up questions you have during interviews. Listen to the answers they give you. Make notes during the meeting or between company booths, so you capture all the information they give you.

Remember too, recruiters only have so much time per person. If you go on too long, they will stop you. Don’t take it personally. If you acknowledge this up front in your conversation, “I know you need to see many people today. But, I just have a question. What is the status of the corporate training job?” Then they may be more willing to spend a minute answering your question. That may lead you to a follow up question.

If this whole face-to-face thing makes you nervous, practice at a company you didn’t do research at first. Practice the whole thing, or as much as you can. If it goes well, then it is time to launch at one of your targeted companies. If you flop, try again at another company before you go on to a target company. Remember, it likely will not be comfortable. So pay attention to the reactions you get from the recruiter. Do they engage with you, or do they keep scanning the crowd? Do they ask you questions? These are your measures of success.

Two: Dress for Success

Speaking of success. People will be watching people. Think of yourself as a walking, talking, breathing résumé. So mind your manners. You don’t know who will see you cuss at the person who just stepped on your foot or who you elbowed out of your way. Just because you don’t see the recruiter, doesn’t mean they didn’t see you.

Dress professionally. Choose one of your most conservative outfits to wear. Cover up any tattoos. Do all the personal hygiene stuff before you leave your home. Look like the professional you hope to be at their company. Look ready to go to work tomorrow. Look like you belong at their company. Yes, you will probably be dressed better than your average day at work, but looking ready to interview shows your commitment to working. It will make you stand out from all the people who just show up. Remember, studies show it only takes the first 10 seconds for someone to form opinions about you. Make your first impression a good one.

If you attend with your spouse or a job buddy, remember your goals. Your goals are to make a series of good impressions at your targeted companies. Then you canvass the fair for any jobs that may be a good fit for you. Then you pay attention to the person you came with to the fair. Agree to split up and met back at a certain time and location. This automatically means, do not take a child or baby to the career fair. Find someone for that time period. If you pay too much attention to your companion, you won’t maximize your attendance at the fair.

Stay focused and upbeat. Use your sense of humor and keep it in the crowds. It is easy to get distracted at a career fair. Smile frequently and often. Companies want happy and energetic employees. Look like one.

Three: Marketing 101

Among the details of research, behavior and résumés for attending a career fair above, I sprinkled some points about marketing yourself. A local public relations firm used a great definition of marketing in an advertisement for themselves.

“A great product without marketing is like winking in the dark. You know what you are doing, but no one else does.”

You are the Great Product. How you get that information to the recruiter is through your actions.

One of your actions is to have a short commercial about yourself. By short, I mean, 15-30 seconds. It should contain your name, how you are qualified for the job what you are looking for at that company. So, Name, qualifications, job. Something like the following (exclamation points equals smiles),

“Hi! My name is Lennon McCartney! I am a dynamic trainer and excellent curriculum developer for retail companies, with over 10 years of experience! I received my master’s degree in communications! At Widgets Unlimited, I created the entire curriculum in 15 different subjects and delivered training to all 150 employees. I am looking for a corporate training job with XYZ Company!”

Twenty seconds of pure gold. (She said modestly.) It can stand alone after each sentence. Name. Experience (what, type and how long). Education (if relevant). Job that I’m seeking. Additionally, come prepared with a challenge a former employer had and how you (and the team) solved this problem. Include how this solution saved the company: money, time, resources, etc.

You’ve done your homework and researched the company. You know what they want and you know what they do. You know how you fit into the company. Now, put yourself into a busy recruiter’s shoes for a minute. You’ve been standing for a couple of hours on a cement floor. You have a ton of work back at the office that is not getting done, because you are working the career fair. You are overwhelmed by all the people coming up to your booth wanting a job. You are hungry, thirsty and tired. How do you imagine a job seeker could stand out to this person? Right, by being the answer to a job opening.

You stand out by looking right for the company. First impression, remember? Then you pleasantly introduce yourself with your commercial. You acknowledge they are busy. You ask a relevant question. You get their business card for follow up. You thank them and say good-bye. You ARE the answer to their job opening!

You are no longer “winking in the dark.” With the business card in hand, go to your computer and send a thank you email to the recruiter. If they asked a question you didn’t have the answer for at the fair, answer it now. Type out your commercial, adjusting it to any new information you received at the career fair. Attach your résumé, just in case. Every action is telling the recruiter you are the right person for the job. Even if, your experience isn’t exactly what they are looking for, your actions are what they want in an employee. That gives you the winning edge.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

HERE’S THE ONLY THING YOU NEED TO KNOW:

That’s a pretty strong statement, isn’t it? So, what is the only thing you need to know?

We get what we expect.

A person with a poor attitude becomes a magnet for unpleasant experiences. Those bad experiences reinforce the poor attitude. Think about the last time you had a “bad day.” It all started with … what? Maybe it was breakfast on your pants. You had to change clothes, which made you late to drop the kids off at school, which further delayed your arrival at work. Then you began looking for more bad stuff to happen to you. Like a train wreck, you couldn’t help yourself from looking for more bad things happening to you. Then you didn’t have to look. Bad things just snowballed and hit you from every direction. Yep, you’d become a magnet for unpleasant experiences.

When a person has a bad day, everyday, they end up living defensively. They live a dark, unhappy life. They become an example of a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is hard to break that cycle. But, you CAN!

Attitude Is Everything

We get what we expect. Think of your outlook as a kind of paintbrush of how you paint your world. We can paint a happy, prosperous world, filled with hope and satisfaction.

People have a hard time believing that the world is a reflection of their attitude. They think, “If people were nice to me, I’d be nice to them.” But, that’s like sitting in front of a cold stove waiting for heat. Until you put in some fuel, there isn’t going to be any heat. It has to start somewhere. Yes, it has to begin with us.

Let me tell you a story. I was walking on a beach, just looking at the ocean. A woman walked by. I stopped her and asked, “What is it like living here? I’m thinking about moving.” She said, “The people aren’t friendly at all. My neighbors never greet me. I’m moving away to find a better place, myself.” Oh my. I thanked her and walked on. A second woman approached me, smiling. I asked her the same question. She said, “The people here are just wonderful. Everyone is so kind and friendly. It’s a lovely place to live.” That is two very different views of the same place. Each woman got what she expected.

We get what we expect.

Expecting Success

Successful people have a successful attitude. A person who has success, whether it’s at home, work or both, have a good attitude about themselves and about life and the things they want to accomplish. You will find they expect things to work out, so they do. If they experience a failure, they shrug it off, knowing that is just part of life. Then they move on to try again. They have the right attitude.

Because they expect success, they are constantly preparing. That is what luck is: Luck is what happens when preparedness meets opportunity. And, opportunity is there all the time. You just have to be able to spot it and know it when you see it. Because you are now expecting success, you will see it and recognize it.

We get what we expect.

You also need a definite purpose. Success always comes when you reach a goal you have worked for long and hard. It’s putting the intangibles into reality. Put your dream in motion; don’t listen to naysayers at temporary defeat. Each defeat has the seeds of success inside. Keep on keeping on. Do you remember Edison and the light bulb? What if he had quit after a thousand tries? Or, two thousand attempts? He made his intangible dream of a light bulb into reality after three thousand tries to find a lasting filament. Edison expected success, and he got it!

This Week’s Coaching

A Chinese proverb says, “You see what you look for.”

Notice what you see this week. Are you looking for success? Are you looking for problems? Are you preparing for success? Or, have you given up already? The next time you “get up on the wrong side of the bed,” say what a friend of mine says, “I’m glad I got the bad thing that was going to happen today over with already. It can only be a good day now.” What is your attitude? What are you expecting?

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.
All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

FIVE WAYS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE

Did you know most people waste six weeks out of every year's worth of labor looking for things? Add that to the chat sessions at the water-cooler and the extra ten minutes you take at lunch, and you're looking at a significant amount of time lost annually. I’m not going to even touch your lunch “hour,” I’m here to reduce your stress at work by giving you back those lost six weeks.

STRESS
You have stress when your expectations and reality falls short creating disappointments. For example, let’s say you drove to work today and after work, you expect to find your car where you left it this morning. Let’s imagine your car is stolen. Will you experience stress? Absolutely! That's because your expectation and reality are out of sync. Let’s say, however, you find your car where you left it. There is no stress because expectation and reality match up.

The cause of most of our daily stresses are not by big disappointments but rather by all the little disappointments, things like work piling up and not getting to the things you want to do.

Well, you don't have to chain yourself to your desk to be more productive. Instead, try implementing some or all of these five strategies:

1. Plan in your action steps when you make up your daily to do list, to address the little things and bring your reality more in line with your expectations. You will get more done and reduce your stress level.

2. Get a better filing system. You file to retrieve, not to store. So create your system so that you can effortlessly retrieve what you file. Take moment to think about how YOU think about these subjects and file them in a way that is easy for YOU to find. Alphabetical may work for Alan, and by subject may work for Zoe. What works for you? Make sure you can effortlessly file your things away, and that you can also effortlessly retrieve them. Remember: if it isn’t easy to use, you won't use it. The point is to reduce the clutter on your desk and in your email, while simultaneously reducing the time that you spend looking for things.

Bonus Tip: Set up your folders (paper and electronic) as soon as you have decided on a system that you think will work for you. Then begin filing all the new stuff as it comes in your email and across your desk. Then do the catch up filing of all the old stuff later on, in batches. This will convert you to your new system much more quickly and efficiently. You will work out the “bugs” as you go. That way, that mountain of old stuff can be tackled much more effectively. As you go through stuff, you may find a bunch that can just be shredded or recycled.

3. Take breaks. That's right. A ten-minute break for coffee or a snack is in order every three hours. These set distractions will make you more productive when you are at your desk. The important part is to take only a ten-minute break, and to leave your desk when you do it.

4. Leave your desk for lunch. Studies have shown that employees, who leave the office for lunch, even if only for a walk around the block, are more productive than those who cram down a quick lunch at their desk. You'll return to your desk mentally refreshed and ready to tackle the most difficult of projects.

5. Work with your nature. Do you ever feel completely unwilling to tackle a project? Then don't attempt to do it just then. Do it when you're more in the mood for it. Your body is best at different things at different times of the day. If you're energized in the morning, work on your most important tasks then. If you're a bit sluggish after lunch, use that time to return emails and telephone calls, or to do any clerical work that has amassed (see Bonus Tip above). Don’t fight with yourself by working against your nature. If you are slow to get started in the morning, do your emails and phone calls then. Then when you get your energy spurt in the afternoon, tackle that big project then.

Increased productivity is just a day away. Notice two of the tips are all about taking a break from work. When you truly take a break from work, you will come back refreshed and will work more effectively. Planning in the action steps just is better planning. Plan the work and work the plan, as the saying goes.

Most people use filing to store information. These are the same people who have lots of piles on their desk. Because they file-to-store, they can’t find what they need. So, they keep all that stuff “handy.” Is this you? File-to-retrieve will be a revelation for you. You’ll be so much neater and things won’t get lost in the piles. Keep a section in the file cabinet near your desk of current projects. When the project is “done,” then file it in your system.

By using these tips and minimizing the time you spend looking for the things you need, you will add significantly more productivity to your workday. You might even get a promotion out of it.

This Week’s Coaching
Add one of these tips to your workday each day this week. Stay with them for a couple of weeks. Give them a chance. Which ones make you more productive? What will your filing system look like? Is it an improvement? If you can’t afford to lunch out, take a walk during your lunch break. It will clear your head just as well, maybe better.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

THREE WAYS TO MANAGE CHANGE

“Change is constant; nothing remains the same.” – Heraclitus (c. 535 BCE – 475 BCE)

We Are Not In Kansas Anymore
As the current working generations, we have not been here before. The economy is not recovering in a way we can see in our daily lives. If we lost our jobs, we are probably still unemployed. “We” have not recovered. If we are employed, current changes in our organizations might cause some anxiety and disruption to the workplace, as well as to personal lives. We might experience new or different work expectations and priorities, fewer resources, reassignment or layoff of colleagues and co-workers, and/or the emotion of grief or loss.

“We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.” – Ronald D. Laing (1927-1989)

The Role of Work
We spend a great portion of our lives working, including commuting. We often look to the workplace to meet some of our needs for social contact and support. In addition, our identities in our professional life contribute to our sense of personal fulfillment. Work therefore plays a significant role in self-esteem, personal wellbeing and social wellbeing. When the work environment changes, you can feel challenged or threatened, and will respond according to how vulnerable you feel. This is why it is so devastating when we lose our jobs. For some of us, we are our work.

When our work changes, we are anxious until we absorb or process the change. The level of anxiety is usually in proportion to our acceptance or resistance to the change or to the quantity of changes. Here in 2010, change happens so fast we often don’t have time to assimilate the change into our life or repertoire when the next one comes along. This is future shock. It is this personal perception that we are constantly bombarded with changes (large and small) in too short a period of time. Future shock is a term for this psychological state of individuals and entire societies, introduced by Alvin Toffler in his book of the same name. (Future Shock, 1970)

"The illiterate of the 21st Century will not be those who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn." – Alvin Toffler

How do you cope with everything from your family life and your job to the daily time-crunch and the mounting complexity of everyday life? Change is all around you. You are told, “Change is good.” Then last year’s “miracle medicine” is suddenly yanked off the shelves for being harmful. Is change good? How do you know? What do you accept and what do you reject?

Know this: change is inevitable. Resistance is futile. Survival is optional. What follows are some ways for you to understand change and tips for adapting to change.

“If you don't develop a strategy of your own, you become a part of someone else's strategy.” – Alvin Toffler

Step one: Breathe. When we get anxious, we often hold our breath. Breathing is good. When you travel with a child by airplane, you are instructed to place the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on your child. Good advice. You can’t help others until you take care of yourself. You can’t make a decision or think unless you breathe. By taking a moment to slow down and deliberately breathe, you also give your brain a much needed pause to process and assimilate the information that you just received. All good.

Step two: Research. Gather what information you can about the change. You know the formulae: who, what, where, when, and why. I would also add “how” to your list of things to find out. You may not receive information about each of these components, but do the best you can. Oh, when I say research, I don’t mean asking your co-workers. They are usually not a good resource for reliable information. They are usually the source of wild speculation and rumors.

Here are some questions to get you started.
• Who is affected and who is involved in initiating the change?
• What is the change and what is it affecting?
• What will be lost? What will be gained?
• Where will this change happen? Is equipment required?
• When will the change happen? And, will it happen all at once or over a time period?
• Why is this change happening?
• How is this change going to affect you? Your job? Your family?

Step three: Resilience. Change is a process that occurs over time and involves themes of loss, uncertainty, newness and control. Adaptation to change comes in phases and your reactions may fluctuate greatly. Understanding what people around you typically experience and need when facing transition can help you to plan for the work and personal issues related to change. By developing a resiliency strategy, you will not just survive during times of change, but thrive.

Change is often external and situational: the new manager, the new policy, the reorganization. Unless psychological transition occurs, change will not be successful.

Inward psychological transition occurs much more slowly than situational change. Understanding what happens during this transition time, and allowing yourself to work through it, is key to coming to terms with change. See Step One above.

The questions I offered above and those you come up with on your own will help you identify some of the losses, nature of the newness and provide a degree of certainty in uncertain times. Sometimes the certainty is only, “I am certain I don’t know and no one else does, either.” Look for the opportunities in the change. Sometimes change is just different, not better or not worse.

Understanding your reactions to change, transition, and the reactions of others will guide you toward helpful approaches to coping. Here are some suggestions to consider for yourself, family and if you are a manger, to encourage your employees.

• Give and get support from co-workers, colleagues, supervisors, family and friends.
• Understand and define personal and organizational limitations. Let go, even if only temporarily, of those areas that are out of your control or influence. Take action, if appropriate, in those areas where you do have control or influence.
• Maintain self-care strategies (e.g., diet, rest, exercise, relaxation).
• Take advantage of opportunities to learn new skills required to adapt to the changes, or for achieving personal or professional growth from the challenges that the changes bring.
• Establish short-term goals to minimize uncertainty and provide a level of accomplishment during the transition.
• Talk about what is happening. Find people willing to listen and talk about what you think and feel.

“You cannot step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever-flowing on to you.” – Heraclitus

Change is inevitable. Getting a strategy to cope with change only makes sense. It will make your life easier. It might be a different river, but at least you’ll know the currents.

This Week’s Coaching:
1. What do you need to know about an upcoming change?
2. Will you adjust your usual approach to change?

Let me know what works or not for you. Let me know. You can reach me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks for reading.

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching

THE THREE KEYS TO SUCCESS

How are you doing? How is your job search going? How are you feeling about your chances for getting a job soon? I ask these questions because I care about you and I know what you are going through. I vividly remember my long period of unemployment and how bone-crushingly depressed I could get. There were days when I thought there was a conspiracy to keep me unemployed. Then there were those days when I thought I had completely lost my abilities and would never work again. It felt as though I was not privy to some elusive secret (maybe a secret handshake?).

 

Is this you too? Know this – I did eventually find the exact job I had been looking for in all those months and years of searching. It does happen. More importantly, IT WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU TOO!

 

There are three keys to unlocking the door to success. This includes getting a job. And, not just any job, but a job you actually want. Just follow all three keys consistently and you too will be successful in what ever you pursue.

 

The First Key:

 

1. Knowledge Is Power.
Knowledge about yourself, your family, the job you are applying for and the company in which it is located.

 

What do you really want to do for ten hours everyday? A typical working person thinks about the job, the boss, the company on average about ten hours every day. This includes commute time on the way to and from the job, the lunch hour (at or away from the desk), and reviewing the day with family and friends. If you have a difficult challenge at work (person or project) it can go up from there. Since job security has become a thing of the past, I’ll bet the most recent statistics are even higher.

 

You absolutely cannot learn enough about yourself, your family, the job you are applying for or its company. If you think you know enough about your family, ask someone a question. Why are you surprised? Family is a constant source of surprise and discovery. Go, do some more research.

 

The same holds true for the jobs that you are applying. Learn all you can. You will find out if this truly is the company, you want to invest part of your life working for, in the right job for you. Remember, people learn new things about their employers all the time. You cannot do too much research.

 

Most people spend more time planning their vacations than they do their careers. The time you spend charting your career course will mean you will reach your goals sooner. All the better to set loftier goals for your future. What do you want to do for the next five years? Where do you want to do it? What kind of people do you want to work with? Do you want to work indoors or outdoors? With people, or mostly alone? Do you want to work with data, people or things? There are half a dozen questions just to get you started.

 

2. Attitude Is Everything.
How you think about yourself and what affects you, will affect your outcome. If you think you got up “on the wrong side of the bed today,” you will indeed have a bad day. On the other hand, if you think, “If something bad had to happen today, I’m glad that it is so small.” You will have a good rest of the day.

 

I understand that when you are down it can be very hard to be neutral, never mind go all the way to optimistic. Just put a smile on your face and be cheerful to everyone you meet. Think: “If today was a good day, how would I feel and act?” Then do your best to model those actions. Pretty soon, the feeling will catch up. Honest.

 

Modeling the behavior, you want to have and consciously choosing a good attitude, will last you all day. It might be the difference to your success, or not. You never know who you will meet that could affect your future. Remember, luck is preparation meeting opportunity. If I want to hire you, and I call to set up an interview, I want to hear optimism and confidence in your voice. But, if you are all down and miserable, that will come through your voice also. Worse, that miserable-ness will shoot you in the foot. Part of your preparation is to project the confident-you. This is your moment to display grace under fire. Yes, I’m talking about courage.

 

“Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of attitudes toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.” – Charles Swindoll, psychiatrist.

“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.” – Judith M. Knowlton, US Tennis Player and activist.

3. Be Persistent.
Edison tried over three thousand different materials before he finally found success with carbonized bamboo for a commercially practical light bulb filament. This process took him years of trying, retrying, and reimagining the solutions.

 

“Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison, inventor.

Choose a good attitude, just for today. Stay focused on your goals. Do something, anything, to move closer to your goals today. Learn all you can on what you need to know. Stay in the game. You can do this and you will be successful.

 

This Week’s Coaching:
1. What do you need to know?

• About your job search
• About your résumé and application materials
• About the specific job you are applying for
• About that company
• About yourself and what you want

 2. How will you keep a positive attitude?

• How will you take care of yourself to keep you “up”?
• Get feedback on how you are projecting yourself.

 3. What are you willing to try just one more time?

 

 Let me know what is or is not working for you. Do you think I have provided good advice here? Or am I totally unrealistic? Let me know, I care. Write to me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks!

 

 All things are possible,

 Elisabeth

 

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

 

5 MORE SECRETS OF LUCKY JOB SEEKERS

Last week, I posted Five Secrets of Lucky Job Seekers. This week I give you Five More Secrets. Taken together, this gives ten ways to improve your chances of improving your luck in the job hunt. If you use all ten, you will get a job sooner, rather than later.

The short version of my story is that I know what you are going through as I once had a three-year stint of unemployment. As you now know, I kept busy. I also created new skills and broadened old skills. I will always consider these three years to be an amazing period in my journey through life. It was during this time that I found my dream job – coaching people to find their dream jobs and teaching job search skills.

It is also some of my darkest days. I felt lost and alone in an extended unemployment and seemingly, unable to get a job. I could find a job, many times “dream jobs” for everyone but me. What was wrong?

What was wrong is that I didn’t have me as a coach. I gave great advice. It was when someone (trying to be funny) said, “You need to coach yourself and take your own advice.” I did just that and got a training job within three months.

Below are my final five tips to imbue yourself with greater resiliency in your job hunt and that in turn will make you lucky. They do require a bit of work and persistence. All are winners in making you prepared, so you can be lucky.

“Luck is preparation meeting opportunity.” This statement by Oprah Winfrey still resonates with me. You can get the luckiest break in the world, but if you aren’t ready for it, it isn’t your lucky break.

6. Connect People Together
This is essentially networking. If you hate networking and are therefore, reluctant to do it, Get over it already. Here, in the 21st Century, employers are slow to hire. When they do hire, they want a sure thing. Someone they don’t know is not a sure thing. They are an “unknown quantity.” If Bob introduces you, you are still essentially unknown. However, they do know Bob and all his good qualities reflect back on you. That makes you more of a sure thing. That is why networking – works.

“If you know many different types of people, you will hear about many more opportunities,” Malcolm Gladwell says. “Sociability, energy, and openness breed luck.”

“Connectors” are sociable people who come across “lucky” situations because they are likeable and know very many people, according to Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. They’re essentially people who have mastered the art of networking. “Connectors” interact with big groups of influential people who have access to vital contacts and information. You don’t have to orchestrate a big social situation, but networking isn’t rocket science. All you need to do is be conscientious of other people and industry news. Send an e-mail about a news item to a new acquaintance or write a birthday card for your old boss. Simple. When networking, it’s the little things that count.

7. Be Optimistic
See the glass as half-full. To have the mindset of a “lucky” person, you must have an optimistic perspective of not just the future and your current situation, but of your past as well, says Matthew Smith, professor of psychology at Liverpool Hope University in England and co-author of a 1998 study on luck.

In this study, researchers found there was a positive correlation between considering oneself “lucky” and the propensity to remember more of the good things that happened to them rather than the bad. Smith found that when something bad happens to these “lucky” people now, they still think that even though it’s bad, the situation is better than the worst that could have possibly happened.

8. Stay Realistic
Now you’re connected, optimistic, spontaneous, and prepared. Woo hoo, lady luck is here! Not so fast. Literally. Patience and persistence are the keys to being a truly “lucky” person. Connections and relationships take time to build. Give them the time to grow and produce fruit.

If you’ve been negative, it takes time for people to realize and respond to the “new and improved” positive you. It takes time for you to develop a consistently positive approach to life. These changes take time. Give them time.

9. Have a Plan
Have a plan for your job hunt. Set realistic goals for yourself, like “At the job fair, I will introduce myself to someone who works at Citibank.” Or “I will make three new vital connections in the next month.” See my recent article for two approaches to goal setting.

The framework of your plan should be robust and set a clear direction. Within that framework, your goals should be adaptable to new situations in which you find yourself. I have a friend who has been out of work for a little over two years. He considered teaching high school science. He felt the year and a half of additional college work needed to add to his B.S. to get his teaching credential was “too long.” He could be teaching in September, if he had carried out his plan. He could have been flexible enough to take another job, if one had presented itself.

10. Assemble a Support Group
Create a group of people that you can rely upon to keep you upbeat and focused on a successful job hunt. I suggest adding a person who is also looking for your type of job to the mix. Make this person your “job search buddy.” Share job leads with each other. Go to job fairs together. Compare notes.

Help this person get a job. By helping this person get a job, you will get a job. Guaranteed.

You can do this. Job search is hard. If you let it, job hunting can suck your soul dry. The gentleman, Robert Mathis, in the newspaper article is quoted saying, “Finding a job is the hardest job you can do.” So true. Keep working your résumé. The only perfect résumé is the one that gets you a job. What works for one hiring manager, may not work for another. Go to your local career center for retraining. Sign up with a local temporary staffing agency, and volunteer. All these are proactive steps you can take.

Most importantly, find and do things that make you happy. Cook a meal, garden, take a walk or whatever else makes you happy. Remember, just as you are not your job title, you are not this situation. This is what is happening to you. You are still that great person with valuable skills you have always been. You can do this.

This Week’s Coaching:
1. Answer the following questions. Be honest with yourself.
• Are you prepared for opportunity?
• What else can you do to be better prepared?
• More prepared?
• Seek feedback on how others see your attitude and demeanor. Make sure your inner optimism is on display.
• Make a list, and every week add at least two people that you have connected.
• What have you done to make yourself happy?
• Do you have a job search buddy? Why not?

Let me know what is or is not working for you. What is the best tip someone ever gave you? What is the worst? Let me know, I care. Write to me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks!

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

5 SECRETS OF LUCKY JOB SEEKERS

Recently, in my local newspaper, there was a front-page Business section article on people who are long-term unemployed. The definition of long-term unemployed is six months or longer. The statistics for the long-term unemployed are the highest they have been in 62 years (not just in sheer numbers, but also in percentage of the workforce that is unemployed). During the last “recession” in 1983, 2.6% of the work force was long-term unemployed. Today it is 4.3 %. Is this you, or someone you know? Help is here.

 

I know what you are going through. I was once unemployed for three years (03/2000 – 12/2002). I must confess that I didn’t seriously look for work the entire time. Some time was spent going through the grief of losing my job and then later on of being unemployed. I also took chunks of time out to do other things that ultimately made my life richer and provided great satisfaction.

 

One of the things I choose to do was provide hospice care. Just before I lost my job to downsizing, my mother was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. Suddenly, I had lots of time to be able to care for her. I was no longer constrained by a job with when I could visit her or for how long. Rather than hire a stranger, something my parents were reluctant to do, I volunteered to help care for my mother. I saw it as a time to make a partial payment to Mom for all that she did for me in raising me. I found this time to be profoundly spiritual and yes, uplifting.

 

Another thing I did during this time was join a volunteer job search group. I did every “job” offered, from answering the phone to teaching classes to becoming president of the organization. I initially joined the Education committee to teach the courses in job search that we offered. I did that to overcome my fear of public speaking. I blossomed in this group. People sought me out to help them not just find a job, but to help them find their dream job. My natural leadership was noted and I was elected president repeatedly for over a year and a half.

 

I am not telling you my history of this period, to give you my résumé. I tell you this, to illustrate what I did to keep busy and productive. Yes, there is a “paid work” gap on my résumé and applications, but I can also demonstrate what I did and what skills I used and developed to employers during these three years. I also know down in my bones how it feels to be out of work for so long that it feels like you have lost a piece of who you are. I know how your self-worth takes a dive.

 

Below are my first five tips to imbue yourself with greater resiliency in your job hunt and that in turn will make you lucky. I am only providing tested and proven tips. Some things sound good, but really don’t make a difference. The tips below have proven to make a difference.

 

As Oprah Winfrey has said:

“Luck is preparation meeting opportunity.”

I think we can all agree she is one lucky person. That is because LUCK does not rely on the plans of the universe or fate. Luck is all about the way you think, your outlook on life and what you see in that life.

 

1. Truly Believe You Will Be Lucky
Start living life from the perspective of a “lucky” person, and maybe you’ll come across that opportunity for an interview or meet the person you need to know to get that job. Do you actually believe the phrase, “Mind over matter?” All those self-help coaches, like me, telling you to “Stay positive! Be optimistic!” may be annoying and seem disingenuous, but we are onto something.

 

“If you believe you are fortunate much of the time, you are likely to exhibit behavior that makes people more responsive to you,” says Martin Seligman, professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and author of Authentic Happiness.

To get in the right mindset of a “lucky” job seeker, you truly have to believe in the likelihood of good things happening to you. People like to be around upbeat, positive people. When you look for the positive, you are more likely to recognize the door of opportunity when you see it.

 

2. Be Grateful for What You Do Have
First of all, to whom do you compare yourself? Wrong! Compare yourself only to yourself. Look at all you DO have. Be grateful for that. Be grateful for the people in your life. Be grateful you know technology and are able to navigate to this blog article. If you found me, what else, who else, can you find to help you? Start a gratitude journal. Five things. Every. Day. Preferably, find five different things everyday. Repetition is allowed after two years.

“Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.” – Helen Keller

If you’re constantly comparing your life with the lives of others, of course you’re going to feel unlucky! However, winning the lottery or getting a job does not guarantee happiness or luck. Often, lottery winners are miserable from the media attention and all the people seeking handouts. How happy were you at your last job? Maybe that “sweet” job you applied for isn’t so sweet.

 

The grass always seems to be greener on the other side, but always keep in mind, just because something might seem great for somebody else, it doesn’t exactly mean it’d be great for you too. You need to travel your own path, not somebody else’s. That is a very good thing.

 

3. Stay Positive
Some luck-inhibiting emotions are resentment, anger, jealousy, bitterness, blaming, criticizing or shyness. People want to help you. But, if you show these emotions, they will run away. No one likes to be brought down by others.

 

Notice when negative emotions arise. If possible, avoid those situations that bring up these feelings. Consciously choose a positive emotion to counter it. For example, another rejection comes to your email. Don’t think, “I’ll never get a job.” Instead, think, “At least this one was well written.”

“It is one thing to feel these negative emotions but another to show them. If you recognize what triggers these emotions — recognize that you tend to get upset in these situations — you can take steps to defuse or overcome them before they are expressed.” Raymond DePaulo, chair of psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and author of Understanding Depression.

 

You’ll be more optimistic, confident, and extroverted — all qualities people find attractive.

 

4. Embrace Spontaneity (Opportunity)
Keep an open mind to the random events that happen and the random people you meet in your life. See every instance as a potential situation for improving your luck. Look for the opportunity in these events.

“Always keep your options open and be prepared to make mistakes,” says John Krumboltz, professor of education at Stanford University. “You get more in life when you are willing to learn than closing everything out.”

Striking up a conversation with a person in the grocery line can be the start of an important networking relationship with someone who may know of a job opening in your area of expertise. Taking a new route, hanging out with a different social group, or even attending something you come across randomly — all of these spontaneous events can easily pave the way to new “luck” and opportunity.

 

5. Be Prepared
OK. You’re embracing spontaneity and looking for opportunity. Nothing is happening for you. Before you go, “Ah-HA!” Ask yourself, “Am I prepared for opportunity?” The opportunity in these random and your other everyday events will only work for you if you are prepared. Imagine you strike up a conversation with the woman sitting next to you on the airplane and find out she’s a marketing manager at a company you’d love to work at. Yep, opportunity is knocking!

 

Are you prepared to impress her with all your knowledge about that company or industry? Do you have interesting and intelligent questions prepared about the workplace culture and industry news? Do you have a good elevator speech to highlight your skills, knowledge and abilities? Or, are you going to fake your way through it or not even bother telling her you’re looking for a job in her field? That is missed opportunity.

 

If you’re prepared, this chance encounter could be a major break and a giant step toward your dream job. If not, well, sadly, but there may not be a next time.

 

You can do this. Job search is hard. If you let it, job hunting can suck your soul dry. The gentleman, Robert Mathis, in the newspaper article is quoted saying, “Finding a job is the hardest job you can do.” So true. Keep working your résumé. The only perfect résumé is the one that gets you a job. What works for one hiring manager, may not work for another. Go to your local career center for retraining. Sign up with a local temporary staffing agency, and volunteer. All these are proactive steps you can take.

 

Most importantly, find and do things that make you happy. Cook a meal, garden, take a walk or whatever else makes you happy. Remember, just as you are not your job title, you are not this situation. This is what is happening to you. You are still that great person with valuable skills you have always been. You can do this.

 

This Week’s Coaching:
1. Answer the following questions. Be honest with yourself.

•  Are you prepared for opportunity?
• What else can you do to be better prepared?
• More prepared?
• Seek feedback on how others perceive your attitude and demeanor. Make sure your inner optimism is on display.

 2. Begin, or resume, a Gratitude Journal. Write down five things you are grateful for every day. Don’t repeat items. Find new things everyday. You know you have turned a corner, when you become grateful for adversity. Or, the return of the ordinary.

 

3. Ensure you do something just for you, every day. Self-care is an important part of keeping your enthusiasm and optimism up. It is just like the skates you had as a child. When you didn’t take care of them (put them away, oil and clean them) they rusted out and you couldn’t skate anymore. Take care of yourself, so you don’t rust out.

 

Let me know what you are doing for self-care. I am planning an article on self-care and need some additional ideas or tips that you could share. Things that are low cost would be most beneficial. Write to me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks!

 

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

 

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

HOW’S YOUR MOJO?

One of my favorite rock bands, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, recently released a new album. MOJO. Back in June, I saw them in Oakland (5 June – the start of their tour). Ironically, Tom lost his mojo with the crowd when he launched into the new MOJO music set. This isn’t a concert review. I bring this up, because I have lost my mojo recently. As I listened to the Mojo album, it reminded me of the concert.

Tom Petty has a professional team to assist in planning the concerts. Moreover, Tom is a seasoned professional, who knows how to put on a great show. If seasoned professional can lose his mojo, anyone can. Today is about how life can get in your way and you lose your mojo.

Mojo – Defined
For those unfamiliar with the term mojo, it has several meanings. The ones I am using are “to have or to use one’s momentum.” And “one’s personal energy or charisma.” Mojo originally comes from hoodoo (different from voodoo) and it is the staple amulet of African-American hoodoo practice, a red flannel bag containing one or more magical items. The word is most likely related to the West African word "mojuba," meaning a prayer of praise and homage. It is a "prayer in a bag" - a spell you can carry. From the Urban dictionary I found it can also be a description of personal charisma or energy; "luck" (or more commonly "bad mojo" as in "bad luck"); sex appeal or talent.

When someone says, “They are on a roll!” You know “they” have mojo. There are other meanings for Mojo. Mother Jones has an iPhone app called MoJo. Marshall Goldsmith has a book, MOJO, How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It back If You Lose It. For him, Mojo is the moment when we do something that's purposeful, powerful, and positive and the rest of the world recognizes it. I think we all understand “mojo” and what it means, it just maybe hard for us to describe.

Right now, I have no momentum. My personal energy is a minus five on a ten-scale. Charisma? Puh-leeze! Zip. Zero. Nada.

It Is All About the Learning
I have a problem of beating myself up when things don’t go as planned or as envisioned. It is something I am working on. (See previous post) The new album was a gift in two ways for me. One, new TP&THB music. Yeah! Two, it stopped the self-abuse I was heaping on myself for the troubles I was going through. I remembered the loss of momentum during the concert. Tom did get it back. He recognized its loss. From the stage Tom said, “Ok, that’s enough new stuff. Let’s get back to what you came to hear.”

The important take away for me is: If professional concert planners can plan and organize everything, and still lose momentum during a concert; why am I beating myself up for losing momentum in the much bigger arena of life? A concert is scripted in many ways. Life? Not so much.

It isn’t the mistakes you make; it’s when you don’t learn from your mistakes, that you fail. So what have I learned?

1.) Acknowledge the loss of momentum out loud. With an artist like Tom, even though he had good NEW music to play, he recognized that on this night, the crowd wanted the old favorites and to sing along. He really seemed taken aback when the crowd went silent as he played the new music. He acknowledged that and reassured the crowd what was next. For me, it was acknowledging out loud, that things are not going well to my partner in accountability. Saying it out loud to someone was surprisingly difficult.

2.) Have a plan in the first place. Tom actually played his set as it had been planned (I’ve seen the set list). When the plan didn’t go over well, he made a mental note. I know this because I saw the look he gave other members of the Heartbreakers. For me, my plan now needs to be ditched and reworked. This is hard. I had much invested in the old plan.

3.) I am trying to mine my old plan for its flaws, wrong judgments and errors. It is difficult to do that with something you have invested a lot of yourself. You become blind to its reality. Thus, I have turned to a neutral third party. This has been very helpful. Sometimes she is just a sounding board and as I talk/explain, it becomes obvious (to both of us) what is a better solution.

Getting My Mojo Back – Part 1
Getting your (my) mojo back is a multistep process. First, you have to define what is right for you. You do that by knowing who you are. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” And, “How do I see myself?” A part of that is defining what your values are and what values you will never compromise. For long-time readers: how is your values list coming along? A little coaching help here is start each sentence with, “I am …” This is not about how others (spouse, co-workers, family, friends, etc.) see you. It is all about how you see yourself. Mojo is a very personal thing. If you can’t define yourself, you can’t define and then find your mojo.

Defining yourself can be tricky. “I want to be the person who …” often gets in the way of “I am the person who is/does …” Really search your life events for clues about who you really are. If you don’t have many life events maybe you are “risk averse” or “afraid of the unknown.” Be careful not to judge yourself on your intentions, instead of your actions.

Part of my challenge is that I became my plan. I didn’t set boundaries as to what is me and what was my plan. Thus, when my plan failed, I failed. It is hard to get up out of the muck of failure. It keeps sucking me down, like when you lose your shoe in mud. Your foot comes out, but the shoe stays stuck in the mud. You are not your plans. You are not your failed plans. Repeat after me: “I am not my plans. I am not my failed plan.” (I feel a little better, how about you?)

Now that you know who you are, go forth and find out what your character is among your co-workers, family and friends. This is where others tell you what they see as your actions. You know the old saying, “actions speak louder than words.” What have your actions said to people? How do they define you?

Speaking of actions, what are your recent accomplishments? What has gotten you accolades at work? At home? As you think about your accomplishments, don’t confuse difficulty with accomplishment. I have a tendency to dismiss my accomplishments with, “Everybody can see/do that.” So I don’t always tell people what I see or what I do. I don’t see it as something special. After all, why state the obvious?

Just because something is easy for you, doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable. It might be easy for you to write a memo about a process improvement that is obvious to you. It might be the most valuable thing you do this year. As you compile your accomplishments think also about the impact your accomplishment has made.

Now think about what you can and cannot change. That is acceptance of “what is,” also known as reality. “The Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr begins, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” Assess your reality, take a deep breathe, maybe a little sigh of regret, and accept it. It is, what it is. No matter how pretty your rose-colored glasses, it is, what it is. This may be one of your greatest challenges. I know it is mine.

On the surface, it should be easy. But if you ask, “why me?” or “it isn’t fair.” You are just resisting reality. You are not accepting something. Fairness has nothing to do with it. My plans went awry. I must accept that. If I don’t, I’ll become bitter about what might have been. In some circles that is also known as baggage. I have enough baggage, thank you. I don’t need more.

This is just plain, old disappointment. Yes, I am too smart (and I’m sure you are too) to plan stupidly. But hey, it happens. Now is when I must use my “courage to change the things I can.” What can I change? Me! And my plans. Ahhh, “wisdom to know the difference.”

I am not going to let a single setback ruin my life. Are you letting a setback disrupt your life? Are you playing the ‘blame-game’ of who really is at fault? That is not productive. Change what you can. Figure out what went wrong, and get on with it already. You cannot change the past. Learn the lesson and let it go.

Getting My Mojo Back – Part 2
I find as I talk to people, that our perception of things affects us more than the reality of things. Another way of saying that is: Attitude is Everything. My perception is that I have lost my mojo. “Peter” came up to me the other day and said he admired what he called my momentum. He is not “in the loop” of my failed plans. He said I was doing great and keep up the great work. Huh? I thought “failure” was written in red and all caps on my forehead. Maybe my mojo is just on pause.

What throws me off track may not faze you at all. What is a chore to me (e.g., exercising) may be a joy for you. My joy of gardening may be your chore. Norman Vincent Peele said, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” That is why learning the lesson from your setback and then trying again, with this new information to guide you, is success. Yes, success is a journey, not a destination.

I am changing my attitude. I am in the midst of a recovery process. This not just semantics. By modifying my attitude and focusing on the recovery (not the setback), it is much easier to think about ways to do it better next time. I am able to let go of the pain. I am able to let go, and not be bitter. I have mapped out the pitfalls. I am changing what I can – me. I am getting prepared. I am learning to accept. How about you?

This Week’s Coaching:
Everything begins with learning you are. So. Who are you? Write it down. What do others think of you? Write that down. How do the lists compare? Are there any contradictions that concern you?

What have you done lately? Think about the ease, or not, for you of the accomplishment and the impact of your accomplishment on work or at home.

What do you need to accept? It is, what it is. How are you going to deal with reality? Write down your plan. Make it so.

Let me know how your life’s journey is going for you. I'm curious, what helps you? What are your challenges? Send me an email, or enter a comment below and let me know how this exercise works for you. I’d love to know. Thanks!

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com