What to Say After a Job Loss - Part 1

You are at the neighborhood bar-b-que. The new neighbor across the street comes up and says, "Hi, my name is Kendall. I'm in sales. What do you do?" “Oh great!” You think to yourself. “I just lost my job last week. What do I say? What do I call myself now? I knew coming to this thing was wrong.” What do you say? What do you do between jobs? The answer is not to stay home and never venture outside again. As the economy whittles away jobs at all levels, the newly jobless are learning a new vocabulary: how to make being unemployed not sound so bad. Saying you’re unemployed can be a conversation killer. People don’t know how to respond and they fear it may happen to them also. What To Do First of all, let yourself grieve the loss of the job. On some lists, loss of a job is third only to death or divorce of a loved one. Remember, this will not be a linear process of shock, denial, relief, anger, depression, acceptance. You may go back and forth between some or all of these stages of grief. That is normal. You will get through this. You are not alone, others have and are going through this right now. Second, take stock. If you haven’t listed your skills, knowledge bases and other unique qualifications, now is the time. For assistance, see my July 2008 article, Who You Are, Not Just What You Do . This is Brand You. The Brand You Sound-bite Now you take this information about Brand You, and boil it down to a 30-60 second sound-bite. This is sometimes known as the Elevator Speech. You want to include things that are relevant to the next job that you want. You want to include your name, education, a major project you worked, awards you’ve received, a problem you solved, position or type of work you are seeking, special training, certification(s), and other languages you speak, special skills. Request contact, and end by re-stating your name. You want to pique people’s interest in you. Do NOT recite a shortened version of your résumé. As you create your Brand You sound-bite, keep in mind you will probably be interrupted. So keep it short and sweet. Memorize key words, not the entire speech. That way when you’re interrupted, you can pick it up again easily. (I will be expanding on this subject next time in Part 2.) What To Say Now that you have crafted some tools (your skills and abilities list and your Brand You sound-bite) get out and meet people! School has started. That means car-pools, kid’s sporting events and lots of opportunities for interaction. Exploit these opportunities to use your Brand You sound-bite. This is a great opportunity to see if anyone has a connection or a lead to a job. This is old-fashioned networking disguised as kid’s soccer. Networking is where the jobs are these days. Employers want to be sure they get the right person, which is more often than not, a known person. The more you get known, the better your chance of getting a job. What’s that? Oh, what do you say about being unemployed – isn’t that the point here? Well then, … First, think about your audience for this piece of news. You may want to front-load a little optimism for parents (and others). If your parents grew up under the shadow of the Depression, they may not understand. They had the luxury of 30-year employment. “I’ve been unhappy at my job for awhile. It’s not personal, it’s business. And, business is bad. They’re offering me money to leave. I am so fine with this.” Another way to put it (and look at this time) is to say you’re reevaluating you career choice. You are weighing options before you move forward. You are exploring various avenues and other industries. This is a great time to look at your values and find a job/career that aligns with those values. Another Viewpoint Those on the sidelines, family, friends, former co-workers — are also uncomfortable. It is difficult to know what to say and when to say it. They want to respect your privacy and dignity. They also want to be helpful. They aren’t sure of the etiquette or protocol here. They are caught between the need to show they care and the fear they’ll offend because they are bringing up something painful. A way to cut them some slack is to be open. “I understand you’re sorry, so am I. But being sorry doesn’t help either one of us. If you want to help, tell me what you think I do well, who you know, and where you think my skills fit best.” This gives people something constructive to talk about and you’ve shown them a way to help. This redirects the tone of the conversation into being helpful for all. Former co-workers often feel survivor’s guilt at still having a job. They feel just having a job is rubbing your face in your loss. Some won’t be able to rise above this. They will start to feel there “must have been something” that you did or should have done. Because if there isn’t, then they are unprotected too. If it’s just random. If it’s just business. That is very scary. So when they say, “It isn’t so bad. It’s happening everywhere.” Be generous and be gentle with your response. When it’s you, it is bad. When it’s you, it feels personal. —  — This is a great time to contact me to get an action plan together to get a career that aligns with your values. I can assist you in creating your skills inventory, crafting a polished Brand You sound-bite, getting you on the path to your dream job.

Contact me now, Elisabeth Adler-Lund at

Telephone: 916 . 803.1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

Thanks for reading!