Are You Stressed?

Tis the season to be stressed. Yep, we are entering the … > > > > > > > > > > > Holiday Zone. < < < < < < < < < < < < It isn’t as if you aren’t stressed enough already. You have work, you have family, you have a demanding boss, you have all the events your kids belong to, you have work at home, you have work at … whoa! You have too much going on. What are you going to do about all this activity? Are you stressed-out?

First, breathe. Just put everything on pause for two minutes, and just breathe. For these two minutes, notice your breath going in and out. Just focus on your breath. Notice how it slows down as you focus on it. Breathe in for a count of four; breathe out for a count of four. Now breathe deeply in for a count of four, hold it for a count of four and then breathe out for a count of four. Repeat this throughout the day. Especially, do it when you are about to explode from the frustration and overwhelm.

Plan A

The “A” stands for attitude. I’ll bet you had thought this is where we talk about priorities and making a list. Only partially true. Your attitude towards what you are doing is more important than what you are doing. Stress is supposed to be a part of our lives. It is only when we are overwhelmed that we think stress is bad. If it wasn’t for stress, we would have many fewer accomplishments, on a personal level and on a societal level.

Yes, stress is good for you. Like all good things, stress is good in moderation. It is when it gets out of control, when it takes over our lives and snuffs the joy out of other things that it is bad for us. “I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.” (Martha Washington, 1732 - 1802)

Now before you think I am trying to get you to change your mind about stress, I think you do need to consider how important what you are doing is and is it in your best interests to be doing it.

Importance and Best Interests

Things that you do usually break down into three categories. First are the “must do’s” – and these include your family, your job or source of income, your friends and your community. The second category of to-do’s is the should-do and the final category is the nice-to-do. Not everything in these broad categories is required. What are your goals as a family, for example? If one of your family goals is to all sit down together for dinner, how do you accomplish that? Perhaps compromise and creative thinking can also accomplish your goals. Perhaps by setting a goal of just four nights of ‘family dinner is doable. Or by bringing the entire family to a practice, you can have a family dinner, picnic-style at the practice.

The second category of to-do’s are should-do’s and third are nice-to-do’s. When a season has its own set of demands, they often take the place or add to your should-dos and nice-to-dos. Again, review what you are doing or planning to do against what is important to your goals of: family, work, friends and community. What will further your goals and what is getting in the way? A couple of years ago, I did it all – baked the cookies, made homemade gifts, decorated “everything” and was too tired to really enjoy the season or my family. At the same time, many family members had gone on diets. You guessed it, my cookies went untouched. This, in turn, hurt my feelings. When I asked, “What, you don’t like my cooking anymore?” The family member asked if I was trying to sabotage their diet! Talk about a communication gap. We laughed about the mix-up in expectations and intentions. Now, I take in the bigger picture and weigh my to-do list against how it affects everybody. This has had the happy effect of dropping some things off my list or reducing the load. I love to bake, but now I only bake cookies for those who will welcome them. This has reduced my baking time and expenses. Win-win.

How important are the obligations and commitments that you have right now? The things that you usually do at the holiday times, how important are they really? What can you delegate? Who can support you? What are your limits and where do you draw the line? How important is your fun-level to you? For everything you put on your list, ask the question, “What benefit will it bring to the goals I have for my family, work, friends or community? If your goal is more family time, don’t put “join the holiday choir” on your list, unless singing is your passion and giving back to the community your goal. Just because you “always” do it, doesn’t mean you need to keep doing it. Perhaps it is time to let someone else do it. Pass the torch. Enjoy the fruit of their labors for a change. Own Your List

Now that you have a list of just those things that are truly important to you, enjoy doing those things. “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” (Norman Vincent Peale, 1898 - 1993)

When you are stressed, when you are harried, remember you chose to do these things. Take a couple of minutes and do the breathing exercise outlined at the beginning of this article. Breathe. Do the counts for a slightly longer period, but stay comfortable. You can do it at a stop light. You can do it in the middle of cleaning up the kitchen. Better is to do it when you take out the trash! Enjoy the night sky while you breathe. You’ll come back in the house with a smile on your face.

If you are very stressed, ask, “Is it time for a course correction?” Do you need to reevaluate what you are doing? If so, do it. Get back to enjoying life and the things you are doing. If it isn’t fun, it isn’t worth doing. Life is too short not to have fun at all times of the year.

Do you feel burdened with too many responsibilities and not enough time for personal enjoyment? Balance is important in your life. Call me and we’ll evaluate the balance in your life, and identify areas that are out of balance and develop a personal action plan to determine your most important priorities. You’ll learn how to set limits, delegate and gain support. You’ll develop a personal action plan to achieve better work life balance. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive And Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com