Sometimes Being Nice is Mean

As managers, a day without confrontation is a day of sunshine. Right? Instead of having one bad day and getting over it, continuing to avoid confrontation will just keep it in the background, sometimes for years. This is a recipe for a dysfunctional department with no discipline, lots of scheming and kvetching. It leaves employees hanging loose, not knowing where they stand. Worse, it leaves them to their own imagination. By avoiding an unpleasant conversation, you allow something worse, a festering problem that will grow. It may become the standard for that employee and it may spread to others. Employees know what the true measure of their performance is, and if one employee "gets away" with something, they will try to also. Short-term niceness is heartless in the long term. You doom the problem employee to non-improvement. Everyone realizes it is a deceptive peace and quiet. "In a knowledge economy, where work is more complex and interdependent, people need feedback more — what they particularly need feedback on are on things that are difficult to give: one's interpersonal style," says David Bradford, a lecturer at Stanford's Graduate School of Business. Your employees want to improve and continue learning. But if you don’t give meaningful feedback, they will stagnate. They may adjust their performance or they may go elsewhere. As one employee said, "(my boss) would dance around the aspects of my reports that needed improvement. … I never knew exactly where I stood." Bad news will not crush the employee if delivered tactfully, honestly, to the point and in a timely manner. Your time spent to "nip it in the bud" or train someone how to write the report right the first time, will pay dividends later. Those dividends will be in all the time not dealing with the issue and all the "real" work you will be able to do. Here are some points to assist you in helping your staff. For feedback on job skills, ask yourself, "Do I use generalities? Do I use a one-size fits all type of comment? Or, do I use meaningful detail to illustrate my points? Do I use a ‘what & why’ in my comments"

• Good comment: "I think that organizing the data by type of event order will have greater value. It will be easier to analyze where the peak usage times are and where we are under allocated in resources.
• Bad comment: "Pay greater attention to detail."

For feedback on interpersonal issues, ask yourself, "Do I focus on the behavior, not the employee? Am I responding in a timely manner?"

• Good comment: "When you interrupt people when they are talking, it is disrespectful and you miss important information."
• Bad comment: "You have a bad attitude."

Employers and employees are looking for people with more than leadership skills and qualities. Employees see in these qualities evidence of effective leaders whom they can also trust. Are your "go to" leadership skills as effective as you want them to be?

I offer a FREE, 30-minute consultation to provide a "trial run" for you. It will give you an opportunity to experience my style firsthand and see if it is a good fit for you. If you would like to explore how executive and life coaching can benefit you, here is how we get started: Contact me now for your complimentary consultation Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

Article idea and quotes taken from: http://www.baltimoresun.com/business/careers/bal-bosses0303,0,2384662.story

I was coaching a client on honing their leadership skills. My client suggested I put it down in writing for others to benefit. Great idea. Great client! You have achieved success. You’re making progress — but something is missing. It’s taking too long. When the boss wants the report out "yesterday," it’s hard to practice on your leadership development. One of the outstanding golfers of our time is Tiger Woods. He has a coach. A coach takes an athlete’s natural ability and hones it to outstanding ability by working with the athlete toward a specific goal. It is the focus of the coach and the client that reinforces the learning and makes it stick. What is the ability that you want to make outstanding, to develope further? Leadership Are you taking people with you? Or are you having to push them along? Managing means the planning, organizing, coordinating and directing to utilize assets for maximum effect with minimum cost. Assets usually fall into five basic areas of People, Time, Equipment, Training and Money. Which one of these assets is the most volatile and dynamic? People! Is a manager different from a supervisor? Yes. How? The Supervisor is on the frontlines of the implementation process. Managers direct and organize the resources to create the reality of the vision. They set the goals. Supervisors develop the capabilities of individuals to implement the vision into processes and systems for execution. Many managers only want short-term success. Managers are pulled in multiple directions as they address various business issues, implement objectives and balance the needs of everyone. If management is maximizing assets, then what is leadership? Leadership is motivating people In other words, it is getting people to accept ownership of their job, duties and responsibilities. Leadership is achieving results through others. Can someone be on the front lines and be a leader? Absolutely. The formal leader is the one who is designated as the leader. An informal leader is the individual all of the people in the group go to when there is a problem or question. Watch the people in your group, you will see whom the others migrate to when there is a problem. There is your future leader. Is a leader always the person who does the technical aspects of a job best? No. Is it good for managers to become leaders? Yes. Managers are people-pushers – Leaders are people-pullers. How does one develop credibility and consistency as a leader? Know thyself! Know what you stand for. Know what you will not stand for. And how does that tie into the company mission statement? One way to do that is to develop a personal mission statement for yourself. You first define what matters most to you. What are your values, highest priorities, attributes and qualities? Then you create a plan of action for what matters most to you. What are the goals you want to achieve? Goals are dreams with deadlines. Then you act in accordance with those plans and what matters most to you. "The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value." — Stephen R Covey Leadership Results Employers and employees are looking for people with more than leadership skills. They are also looking for people with leadership qualities. Employees see in these qualities evidence of effective leaders whom they can also trust. Leaders with the courage to step up to the difficult moment, the tough challenge, the risky decision. Leaders whose skills and humanity shine through. Leaders who are genuine. Contact me now to improve your leadership qualities Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com