HERE’S THE ONLY THING YOU NEED TO KNOW:

That’s a pretty strong statement, isn’t it? So, what is the only thing you need to know?

We get what we expect.

A person with a poor attitude becomes a magnet for unpleasant experiences. Those bad experiences reinforce the poor attitude. Think about the last time you had a “bad day.” It all started with … what? Maybe it was breakfast on your pants. You had to change clothes, which made you late to drop the kids off at school, which further delayed your arrival at work. Then you began looking for more bad stuff to happen to you. Like a train wreck, you couldn’t help yourself from looking for more bad things happening to you. Then you didn’t have to look. Bad things just snowballed and hit you from every direction. Yep, you’d become a magnet for unpleasant experiences.

When a person has a bad day, everyday, they end up living defensively. They live a dark, unhappy life. They become an example of a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is hard to break that cycle. But, you CAN!

Attitude Is Everything

We get what we expect. Think of your outlook as a kind of paintbrush of how you paint your world. We can paint a happy, prosperous world, filled with hope and satisfaction.

People have a hard time believing that the world is a reflection of their attitude. They think, “If people were nice to me, I’d be nice to them.” But, that’s like sitting in front of a cold stove waiting for heat. Until you put in some fuel, there isn’t going to be any heat. It has to start somewhere. Yes, it has to begin with us.

Let me tell you a story. I was walking on a beach, just looking at the ocean. A woman walked by. I stopped her and asked, “What is it like living here? I’m thinking about moving.” She said, “The people aren’t friendly at all. My neighbors never greet me. I’m moving away to find a better place, myself.” Oh my. I thanked her and walked on. A second woman approached me, smiling. I asked her the same question. She said, “The people here are just wonderful. Everyone is so kind and friendly. It’s a lovely place to live.” That is two very different views of the same place. Each woman got what she expected.

We get what we expect.

Expecting Success

Successful people have a successful attitude. A person who has success, whether it’s at home, work or both, have a good attitude about themselves and about life and the things they want to accomplish. You will find they expect things to work out, so they do. If they experience a failure, they shrug it off, knowing that is just part of life. Then they move on to try again. They have the right attitude.

Because they expect success, they are constantly preparing. That is what luck is: Luck is what happens when preparedness meets opportunity. And, opportunity is there all the time. You just have to be able to spot it and know it when you see it. Because you are now expecting success, you will see it and recognize it.

We get what we expect.

You also need a definite purpose. Success always comes when you reach a goal you have worked for long and hard. It’s putting the intangibles into reality. Put your dream in motion; don’t listen to naysayers at temporary defeat. Each defeat has the seeds of success inside. Keep on keeping on. Do you remember Edison and the light bulb? What if he had quit after a thousand tries? Or, two thousand attempts? He made his intangible dream of a light bulb into reality after three thousand tries to find a lasting filament. Edison expected success, and he got it!

This Week’s Coaching

A Chinese proverb says, “You see what you look for.”

Notice what you see this week. Are you looking for success? Are you looking for problems? Are you preparing for success? Or, have you given up already? The next time you “get up on the wrong side of the bed,” say what a friend of mine says, “I’m glad I got the bad thing that was going to happen today over with already. It can only be a good day now.” What is your attitude? What are you expecting?

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.
All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

THE THREE KEYS TO SUCCESS

How are you doing? How is your job search going? How are you feeling about your chances for getting a job soon? I ask these questions because I care about you and I know what you are going through. I vividly remember my long period of unemployment and how bone-crushingly depressed I could get. There were days when I thought there was a conspiracy to keep me unemployed. Then there were those days when I thought I had completely lost my abilities and would never work again. It felt as though I was not privy to some elusive secret (maybe a secret handshake?).

 

Is this you too? Know this – I did eventually find the exact job I had been looking for in all those months and years of searching. It does happen. More importantly, IT WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU TOO!

 

There are three keys to unlocking the door to success. This includes getting a job. And, not just any job, but a job you actually want. Just follow all three keys consistently and you too will be successful in what ever you pursue.

 

The First Key:

 

1. Knowledge Is Power.
Knowledge about yourself, your family, the job you are applying for and the company in which it is located.

 

What do you really want to do for ten hours everyday? A typical working person thinks about the job, the boss, the company on average about ten hours every day. This includes commute time on the way to and from the job, the lunch hour (at or away from the desk), and reviewing the day with family and friends. If you have a difficult challenge at work (person or project) it can go up from there. Since job security has become a thing of the past, I’ll bet the most recent statistics are even higher.

 

You absolutely cannot learn enough about yourself, your family, the job you are applying for or its company. If you think you know enough about your family, ask someone a question. Why are you surprised? Family is a constant source of surprise and discovery. Go, do some more research.

 

The same holds true for the jobs that you are applying. Learn all you can. You will find out if this truly is the company, you want to invest part of your life working for, in the right job for you. Remember, people learn new things about their employers all the time. You cannot do too much research.

 

Most people spend more time planning their vacations than they do their careers. The time you spend charting your career course will mean you will reach your goals sooner. All the better to set loftier goals for your future. What do you want to do for the next five years? Where do you want to do it? What kind of people do you want to work with? Do you want to work indoors or outdoors? With people, or mostly alone? Do you want to work with data, people or things? There are half a dozen questions just to get you started.

 

2. Attitude Is Everything.
How you think about yourself and what affects you, will affect your outcome. If you think you got up “on the wrong side of the bed today,” you will indeed have a bad day. On the other hand, if you think, “If something bad had to happen today, I’m glad that it is so small.” You will have a good rest of the day.

 

I understand that when you are down it can be very hard to be neutral, never mind go all the way to optimistic. Just put a smile on your face and be cheerful to everyone you meet. Think: “If today was a good day, how would I feel and act?” Then do your best to model those actions. Pretty soon, the feeling will catch up. Honest.

 

Modeling the behavior, you want to have and consciously choosing a good attitude, will last you all day. It might be the difference to your success, or not. You never know who you will meet that could affect your future. Remember, luck is preparation meeting opportunity. If I want to hire you, and I call to set up an interview, I want to hear optimism and confidence in your voice. But, if you are all down and miserable, that will come through your voice also. Worse, that miserable-ness will shoot you in the foot. Part of your preparation is to project the confident-you. This is your moment to display grace under fire. Yes, I’m talking about courage.

 

“Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of attitudes toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.” – Charles Swindoll, psychiatrist.

“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.” – Judith M. Knowlton, US Tennis Player and activist.

3. Be Persistent.
Edison tried over three thousand different materials before he finally found success with carbonized bamboo for a commercially practical light bulb filament. This process took him years of trying, retrying, and reimagining the solutions.

 

“Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison, inventor.

Choose a good attitude, just for today. Stay focused on your goals. Do something, anything, to move closer to your goals today. Learn all you can on what you need to know. Stay in the game. You can do this and you will be successful.

 

This Week’s Coaching:
1. What do you need to know?

• About your job search
• About your résumé and application materials
• About the specific job you are applying for
• About that company
• About yourself and what you want

 2. How will you keep a positive attitude?

• How will you take care of yourself to keep you “up”?
• Get feedback on how you are projecting yourself.

 3. What are you willing to try just one more time?

 

 Let me know what is or is not working for you. Do you think I have provided good advice here? Or am I totally unrealistic? Let me know, I care. Write to me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks!

 

 All things are possible,

 Elisabeth

 

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

 

HOW’S YOUR MOJO?

One of my favorite rock bands, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, recently released a new album. MOJO. Back in June, I saw them in Oakland (5 June – the start of their tour). Ironically, Tom lost his mojo with the crowd when he launched into the new MOJO music set. This isn’t a concert review. I bring this up, because I have lost my mojo recently. As I listened to the Mojo album, it reminded me of the concert.

Tom Petty has a professional team to assist in planning the concerts. Moreover, Tom is a seasoned professional, who knows how to put on a great show. If seasoned professional can lose his mojo, anyone can. Today is about how life can get in your way and you lose your mojo.

Mojo – Defined
For those unfamiliar with the term mojo, it has several meanings. The ones I am using are “to have or to use one’s momentum.” And “one’s personal energy or charisma.” Mojo originally comes from hoodoo (different from voodoo) and it is the staple amulet of African-American hoodoo practice, a red flannel bag containing one or more magical items. The word is most likely related to the West African word "mojuba," meaning a prayer of praise and homage. It is a "prayer in a bag" - a spell you can carry. From the Urban dictionary I found it can also be a description of personal charisma or energy; "luck" (or more commonly "bad mojo" as in "bad luck"); sex appeal or talent.

When someone says, “They are on a roll!” You know “they” have mojo. There are other meanings for Mojo. Mother Jones has an iPhone app called MoJo. Marshall Goldsmith has a book, MOJO, How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It back If You Lose It. For him, Mojo is the moment when we do something that's purposeful, powerful, and positive and the rest of the world recognizes it. I think we all understand “mojo” and what it means, it just maybe hard for us to describe.

Right now, I have no momentum. My personal energy is a minus five on a ten-scale. Charisma? Puh-leeze! Zip. Zero. Nada.

It Is All About the Learning
I have a problem of beating myself up when things don’t go as planned or as envisioned. It is something I am working on. (See previous post) The new album was a gift in two ways for me. One, new TP&THB music. Yeah! Two, it stopped the self-abuse I was heaping on myself for the troubles I was going through. I remembered the loss of momentum during the concert. Tom did get it back. He recognized its loss. From the stage Tom said, “Ok, that’s enough new stuff. Let’s get back to what you came to hear.”

The important take away for me is: If professional concert planners can plan and organize everything, and still lose momentum during a concert; why am I beating myself up for losing momentum in the much bigger arena of life? A concert is scripted in many ways. Life? Not so much.

It isn’t the mistakes you make; it’s when you don’t learn from your mistakes, that you fail. So what have I learned?

1.) Acknowledge the loss of momentum out loud. With an artist like Tom, even though he had good NEW music to play, he recognized that on this night, the crowd wanted the old favorites and to sing along. He really seemed taken aback when the crowd went silent as he played the new music. He acknowledged that and reassured the crowd what was next. For me, it was acknowledging out loud, that things are not going well to my partner in accountability. Saying it out loud to someone was surprisingly difficult.

2.) Have a plan in the first place. Tom actually played his set as it had been planned (I’ve seen the set list). When the plan didn’t go over well, he made a mental note. I know this because I saw the look he gave other members of the Heartbreakers. For me, my plan now needs to be ditched and reworked. This is hard. I had much invested in the old plan.

3.) I am trying to mine my old plan for its flaws, wrong judgments and errors. It is difficult to do that with something you have invested a lot of yourself. You become blind to its reality. Thus, I have turned to a neutral third party. This has been very helpful. Sometimes she is just a sounding board and as I talk/explain, it becomes obvious (to both of us) what is a better solution.

Getting My Mojo Back – Part 1
Getting your (my) mojo back is a multistep process. First, you have to define what is right for you. You do that by knowing who you are. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” And, “How do I see myself?” A part of that is defining what your values are and what values you will never compromise. For long-time readers: how is your values list coming along? A little coaching help here is start each sentence with, “I am …” This is not about how others (spouse, co-workers, family, friends, etc.) see you. It is all about how you see yourself. Mojo is a very personal thing. If you can’t define yourself, you can’t define and then find your mojo.

Defining yourself can be tricky. “I want to be the person who …” often gets in the way of “I am the person who is/does …” Really search your life events for clues about who you really are. If you don’t have many life events maybe you are “risk averse” or “afraid of the unknown.” Be careful not to judge yourself on your intentions, instead of your actions.

Part of my challenge is that I became my plan. I didn’t set boundaries as to what is me and what was my plan. Thus, when my plan failed, I failed. It is hard to get up out of the muck of failure. It keeps sucking me down, like when you lose your shoe in mud. Your foot comes out, but the shoe stays stuck in the mud. You are not your plans. You are not your failed plans. Repeat after me: “I am not my plans. I am not my failed plan.” (I feel a little better, how about you?)

Now that you know who you are, go forth and find out what your character is among your co-workers, family and friends. This is where others tell you what they see as your actions. You know the old saying, “actions speak louder than words.” What have your actions said to people? How do they define you?

Speaking of actions, what are your recent accomplishments? What has gotten you accolades at work? At home? As you think about your accomplishments, don’t confuse difficulty with accomplishment. I have a tendency to dismiss my accomplishments with, “Everybody can see/do that.” So I don’t always tell people what I see or what I do. I don’t see it as something special. After all, why state the obvious?

Just because something is easy for you, doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable. It might be easy for you to write a memo about a process improvement that is obvious to you. It might be the most valuable thing you do this year. As you compile your accomplishments think also about the impact your accomplishment has made.

Now think about what you can and cannot change. That is acceptance of “what is,” also known as reality. “The Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr begins, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” Assess your reality, take a deep breathe, maybe a little sigh of regret, and accept it. It is, what it is. No matter how pretty your rose-colored glasses, it is, what it is. This may be one of your greatest challenges. I know it is mine.

On the surface, it should be easy. But if you ask, “why me?” or “it isn’t fair.” You are just resisting reality. You are not accepting something. Fairness has nothing to do with it. My plans went awry. I must accept that. If I don’t, I’ll become bitter about what might have been. In some circles that is also known as baggage. I have enough baggage, thank you. I don’t need more.

This is just plain, old disappointment. Yes, I am too smart (and I’m sure you are too) to plan stupidly. But hey, it happens. Now is when I must use my “courage to change the things I can.” What can I change? Me! And my plans. Ahhh, “wisdom to know the difference.”

I am not going to let a single setback ruin my life. Are you letting a setback disrupt your life? Are you playing the ‘blame-game’ of who really is at fault? That is not productive. Change what you can. Figure out what went wrong, and get on with it already. You cannot change the past. Learn the lesson and let it go.

Getting My Mojo Back – Part 2
I find as I talk to people, that our perception of things affects us more than the reality of things. Another way of saying that is: Attitude is Everything. My perception is that I have lost my mojo. “Peter” came up to me the other day and said he admired what he called my momentum. He is not “in the loop” of my failed plans. He said I was doing great and keep up the great work. Huh? I thought “failure” was written in red and all caps on my forehead. Maybe my mojo is just on pause.

What throws me off track may not faze you at all. What is a chore to me (e.g., exercising) may be a joy for you. My joy of gardening may be your chore. Norman Vincent Peele said, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” That is why learning the lesson from your setback and then trying again, with this new information to guide you, is success. Yes, success is a journey, not a destination.

I am changing my attitude. I am in the midst of a recovery process. This not just semantics. By modifying my attitude and focusing on the recovery (not the setback), it is much easier to think about ways to do it better next time. I am able to let go of the pain. I am able to let go, and not be bitter. I have mapped out the pitfalls. I am changing what I can – me. I am getting prepared. I am learning to accept. How about you?

This Week’s Coaching:
Everything begins with learning you are. So. Who are you? Write it down. What do others think of you? Write that down. How do the lists compare? Are there any contradictions that concern you?

What have you done lately? Think about the ease, or not, for you of the accomplishment and the impact of your accomplishment on work or at home.

What do you need to accept? It is, what it is. How are you going to deal with reality? Write down your plan. Make it so.

Let me know how your life’s journey is going for you. I'm curious, what helps you? What are your challenges? Send me an email, or enter a comment below and let me know how this exercise works for you. I’d love to know. Thanks!

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

SPRING CLEANING LIFE’S CLUTTER

I was reading a great article in my newspaper about cleaning up one’s digital clutter. I thought a better title would have been, “Spring Cleaning Digital Clutter.” That led me to realizing a good topic for today would be, “Spring Cleaning Life’s Clutter.” 

What is Life Clutter? It is anything that clutters up your life. Your clutter may be different from my clutter, which may be different from your partner’s clutter. It is anything that no longer serves you and gets in your way. 

It may be old and familiar. Some examples of this type of clutter are: 

• Newsletter and e-zine subscriptions you no longer read or are no longer relevant to you where you are now. 
• Ditto for magazine subscriptions.
• The resentment/fear/anger you still harbor for someone in your past. 
• The piles of ___ that take up space and only gather dust. 
• Hosting the traditional holiday/birthday/anniversary celebration as you’ve always done.
• Your job. 

 It may be new clutter:

• The volunteer gig you signed up for because ___ asked you. 
• It’s a worthy enough cause, but you’re not particularly passionate about it.
• TV 
• Your email account. So much comes in to you, you can’t find important emails. 
• Your job. Your formerly “great job” no longer is so great. 

New Territory

We have never been in this place before of information and action overload. In my first email account (a Yahoo account), I had over six thousand unread messages at one time. It became so overwhelming to me, I just stopped opening it up. That really cut down on what I received. NOT! I went in and unsubscribed to some interesting e-zines and newsletters. I only kept what I could read in 3 hours a week AND tied directly to where I was in my life. I mass deleted everything past a certain date. I just knew I was deleting some really “good stuff.” I held firm and just did it (with my eyes closed when necessary). Today, I have cut down the allotted reading period to two hours.

The Past is, well, Past

Hanging on to past resentments, fears or anger you still harbor for someone or something in your past is a waste of today’s resources. It does not hurt these people to hang on to that stuff. You only hurt yourself. Letting go of the resentment, anger or pain does not get those people off the hook for what they did to you. It just allows you to be pain free.

Less pain from the past means less baggage to cart around today. I once told a person who was struggling to separate work from home to pack her personal baggage in the trunk of her car when she got to work and take out the work baggage. Then to reverse it at the end of the workday when she went home. I must tell you that I had never seen this woman smile or just be happy. After about a month, she came into my office humming and smiling. She said, “I got tired of packing and unpacking all that baggage. So, I decided to dump some of it. I travel lighter now. And guess what?” “What?” I asked. My husband and I aren’t getting a divorce anymore!” She went on to explain that once she stopped carrying the grudges around, she stopped feeling so resentful. That in turn allowed her to have a conversation about the future with her husband. Together they decided they wanted to travel the future with each other.

Yes to Ourselves

For those of us who are people pleasers, it is hard to disappoint people by saying “no” to requests. So we say yes. Then we disappoint ourselves. One of the most important people we need to say yes to is ourselves. We often treat ourselves like second-class citizens. We would never treat other people the way we treat ourselves. What is up with that?!

Repeat after me, “I just can’t do that. Sorry.” Again, only this time, say it out loud, “I just can’t do that. Sorry.” One more time with feeling and sincerity, “I’m sorry, but I just can’t do that.”

Please note, you don’t have to really feel sorry. In the beginning, you might feel sorry. But, as you practice this skill, it will get easier and you will feel less sorry. With the additional time, you will be able to participate more fully in those “yes” tasks and activities. You will provide more quality with less quantity of tasks. The amazing thing is how few people will actually ask you, "Why not?"

Self-Care

Many women, and particularly mothers, struggle with giving themselves permission for self-care. Maybe on Mother’s Day, they will allow others to do things for them. Rather, to be healthy and resilient to the daily stresses and strains, daily self-care is a better practice.

I can hear you now. So repeat after me, “I’m sorry, I just can’t do that.” Teach your children and spouse  independence by allowing them to clean up after themselves. Or, to cook dinner. Or, to do some laundry. Provide some initial training, but then step back. Sure, mistakes will be made. But, you are teaching them life skills for their future and yours. And remember, once upon a time you were a beginner at those tasks too.

In the process, by taking care of yourself, you also teach them to do the same. Nurturing yourself is not selfish. By taking care of your own well-being, you will be better able to be there when they really need you. You will be able to give more to others and with better quality. Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. When you give, someone receives. When you receive, you allow someone to give you a gift. That sustains the natural balance of life.

Taking care of yourself doesn’t need to be elaborate or consume large amounts of time. Here are some easy ways to practice your self-care:

• 15 minutes for meditation or solitude,
• Going to a movie you’ve wanted to see,
• Mindfully enjoying a treat,
• Take a walk outside,
• Take an aromatherapy bath,
• Play like a kid,
• Have a cup of herbal tea while doing nothing else, and
• Put on some music you love and sing or dance like no one is watching.

Only you know what will fulfill your needs. Here are some other examples of ways to self-nurture:

• Sign up for a class for fun.
• Enjoy a nice meal alone or with a friend or loved one.
• Buy yourself some flowers or a plant.
• Get a professional massage.
• Explore sensual and sexual pleasures with a loved one or by yourself.
• Get a manicure or pedicure.
• Listen to or read uplifting literature.
• Go to a concert or theater.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Go do it. Do it NOW.

This week’s coaching:

What is your life clutter?

1.      What can you get rid of in your life?

2.    By saying no to some things, what will you say yes to?

3.     What baggage will you unpack and dump?

4.    Which of the easy self-care items will you do today? Tomorrow?

5.     Which of the more elaborate self-nurturing items will you do this week?

Let me know via the comments section below or by sending me an email, the answers to this week’s coaching questions. I’m curious what you will say no to, to get to yes.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

HAS IT BEEN A LONG TIME?

Has it been a long time since you were paid for the work you do? More than six months? Over a year? 

Sadly, this is possible. Job search is very competitive right now. By some estimates, there are up to 10 people for every job opening. That makes it a numbers game. The more you get out there and apply, the sooner you’ll get a job. How do you keep positive so you can do that? How do get yourself UP for the game of job search in the face of all that competition and rejection? It happens to the best of us. You are not alone. You have hit a patch of rapids in the river of life. How do you see past the rapids and keep a positive outlook? 

YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB 
 Long-term unemployment does more than put a gap in your résumé. It also affects how you look at yourself. Your self-esteem takes a hit. You are not your job. Your value as a human being is not tied to your paycheck or your job title. If it were, Bernie Madoff would be someone to look up to, not the scoundrel he is. 

JOB CLUB  
One way is to find a local job club. This is an organization that will help you find a job. Buddy up with someone in your field. Help each other find a job. Remember, the more leads you generate for your buddy, the more you generate for you. Practice your interview skills on each other. Cheer your buddy up when they get down. Hold each other accountable to a job search plan. If each of you is to contact say, ten employers a week, make sure you each do that. Remember, it is a numbers game. The higher your numbers (of contacts, applications, employers visited, etc.) the better your chances.

If your area doesn’t have a job club, start one. This would be a sterling example of your leadership skills in action. And, it will look great on your résumé! 

JUST A MOMENT IN TIME 

Your career will run for a long time. It will be counted in decades. So sooner or later, a setback will happen in your career. It’s to be expected. Hey, “Life happens!” (as the bumper sticker says). Cycles have up's and down's and this is just a down. The good news is it will all be up from here. Remind yourself that a job will be there, and is waiting for you, right around the bend in the river. 

REVISIT YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS 
When was the last time you really looked at your résumé? Moreover, when you do, does it seem like your accomplishments were achieved by someone else? Your career is like a bicycle; you never forget how to ride it. Spend some quality time with your résumé. Remember the projects you worked on and the people you worked with to obtain these results. Remind yourself that these are your accomplishments, which should make you justifiably proud. Just because it has been a while, doesn't mean it didn't happen then and won’t happen again. 

VISUALIZE WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN 
You may not know when or where your next job is, but you can get ready. Visualize it in all the detail you can muster. What do you want next? Where exactly, do you want to work? What location? What type of people? How much salary? What are the duties? Responsibilities? What size of company? Do you want to work alone or with a team? When you can see what you want, clearly and powerfully, you can get it. Keep refining this vision. Begin trying to match up your vision with companies. You’ll find it. 

I find that when people are out of work for a while, they can't see themselves in their jobs anymore. The amount of time that has passed only matters to you. Visualize what you want so you can get back to work again quickly. Visualize submitting a great application. Visualize a great interview. Visualize the negotiations and getting the salary you want. Visualize the first day of work and all its glorious awkwardness. 

BIG MO 
Not surprisingly, most people don't take rejection well and they get discouraged. When they first lost their jobs, they had vigor and excitement. They got up everyday and had people to call and job search related activities to work on. Over time, the momentum and activities diminished. You only need one job and one person to give it to you. So get your momentum going again. The work you put in now will bring results; you just haven't seen them yet. As you well know, job search is not an instant gratification pursuit. It is a process that brings results over time. It has its own timetable and it isn’t yours. 

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF 
Most of the time, we are our own worst enemy. We talk ourselves down and defeat ourselves before the battle even begins. This approach may keep you safe from rejection and failure, but it also holds you back. This economy may be forcing you to get out of your comfort zone and into new territory. The economy hasn’t been in this place for most of our lifetimes (parents or grandparents, yes. Us, not so much). This recession requires new approaches. Nothing comfortable here and you'll be blazing new personal trails. All this is great for your personal growth. (Even though it does not feel so great most of the time.) 

This is your challenge. Will you rise to the occasion or let it get the best of you? You already have a track record of achieving great things. This will be one more to add to your list. This is just one patch of rapids in the river of your life. You will get past this. You will survive and thrive. Just hunker down, get out of your comfort zone and keep on, keeping on. 

So, what do you say? It is your life, grab it and get your momentum going again. You can do this. 

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. 

All things are possible, 

Elisabeth 

Elisabeth Adler-Lund 
Executive and Life Coaching 
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

WHAT IS YOUR CARPE DIEM?

I have been a little overwhelmed with work, duties, and obligations lately. I was trying to prioritize what to take action on, trying a little self-motivation. So, I just randomly said “carpe diem” to myself, hoping for some action to get out of planning mode and into action mode. ‡ After all, the phrase seems to work for so many others.

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Carpe diem! This is popularly translated as Seize the day! Some scholars say that the Latin word carpe is more akin to the English equivalent pluck. What does seize or pluck the day mean for you? Yeah, it really doesn’t resonate with me, either. It is hard to wrap my mind around seizing something as metaphysical as a “day” or “time.” How do you seize what you can’t touch? (I know, it isn’t meant to be literal.*) 

Thank you, Mr. Roget 

I went to my Thesaurus and looked up “seize.” Here are some alternatives that are more meaningful for how I use the phrase. More importantly, these words are more meaningful in propelling me to action (the point of the mantra, after all).

1. grab 
2. snatch 
3. confiscate 
4. commandeer 
5. take control of 
6. capture 

Well, items 1 – 3 are too … physical. Again, hard to confiscate something you can’t grab or snatch. However. I can easily “commandeer” my day or time. (Yes, I have control issues.) I definitely need to “take control of” my day and take it back from other people’s priority lists. Additionally, I can “capture” my time back from the time sink of email or web surfing. 

Meanings are in people 

I encourage you to do this exercise. What phrase will motivate you? Tweak it until it truly motivates YOU. You can look it up in the dictionary, search the Thesaurus or ask others. However, until it means something to you, it just won’t work. Now that I have a better translation for carpe diem, it really does propel me into action. 

What do you need to seize/pluck/grab/snatch/confiscate/commandeer/take control of/capture today? What is the one thing that will propel you forward toward your goals? What motivates you? What do you want more of in your life? 

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. 

All things are possible,  

Elisabeth 

Elisabeth Adler-Lund 
Executive and Life Coaching 
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

‡ This is why motivation doesn’t always work. 
A) You have to tie it something specific. It can’t be random. 
B) It has to mean something to you. If money isn’t your motivator, more of it won’t push you into action. 

* In Horace, the phrase is part of a longer poem. Literally: 
(Latin) … carpe diem quam minimum credula postero. 
(English) … Seize the day, trusting as little as possible to the future. 

There are many similar phrases on making the most of now, the present, because life is short and time flies by: 
“Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.” 
“Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.” 
“Time flies when you’re having fun.” (Often said ironically.) 

DOES ANOTHER DOOR OPEN?

You know the saying, “One door closes and another one opens.” Have you found that to be true? One door closed, you lost your job. What is your opening door? If you are only focused on a new job as your next open door, you may be overlooking all the open doors in front of you. You might also be a candidate for burnout.

Remember all those things that you wanted to do when you were working? Now is your “open door” to getting them done. Here is a short list of things you now have time for:

• Spending more time with the family
  
• Cleaning out the garage/attic/junk drawer
• Reconnecting with your spouse or significant other
• Reevaluating your career direction and decisions
• Doing an in depth self-assessment of your strengths, skills, abilities and experience
• Volunteering at your favorite charity (giving time instead of money)
• Learning new skills to improve your career
• Working at an unpaid (or token pay) internship to explore a new career

NOT “JUST” KEEPING BUSY

This is more than just keeping busy and out of trouble. When you maintain a schedule, you also maintain a focus about your life. This occupies your mind with new ideas and new people. It also makes you more interesting to others. Good conversation is helpful in all areas of your life.

As you are out and about, you are meeting people and building relationships. Sometimes the volunteer job can lead to a paying job. Sometimes the colleague you volunteer with has a job lead. Sometimes you can help out the volunteer colleague and the organization. That’s a double whammy win! Keeping your self-esteem high is important in the hunt for a job.

BURNOUT

If everything is focused on getting a job, you can become burned out fast. The unemployment rate is the highest it has been for decades. Employers aren’t rehiring the people they laid off. That is a lot of rejection. Every time you submit an application or send in a résumé and no one even acknowledges it, you feel rejected. You finally get an interview and you don’t get the job, more rejection. Even seasoned salespeople suffer burnout in these conditions.

The consequences of burnout are that when you get your next interview, you sound desperate or disinterested. Desperate because all you are thinking is “Please, please let me get this job.” Or, you are already resigned to failure, making it self-fulfilling.

By keeping yourself useful to others, you get positive reinforcement. That in turn is an antidote to the burnout a prolonged job search can create.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

NEW YEAR, NEW POSSIBILITIES

What are your new possibilities for the New Year?

Today I want you to take a step back from your life and look at the bigger picture. Look at all the events that have brought you to where you are today. I’m sure you’ve had some crooked paths, some back-tracking, some do-over’s and a few straight and narrow paths. Thinking about just 2009, have you advanced your cause? Are you closer to your goals? Or, did the year just disappear into busy-ness?

This is the traditional time to take stock and think about resolutions. So, we promise to live like monks (not spending money, saving all we can, going to the gym, not eating as much as we want to) and then find out in February, we are NOT cut out for the monastic life. No surprise there. This year I am taking a different path.

My theme for 2010 is, “All things are possible.”

I am going to focus on all the things that I am good at now and improve them. I spent a lot of time trying to improve my weaknesses in 2009. I think now, that I just wasted my time. Why work on something I am not good at or is not in my character to do, when I could accomplish so much more by focusing on a strength? I think that by reinforcing my strengths, I will correct some of weaknesses as part of the process.

One of my (many) weaknesses is I don’t have a neat office. I have a tendency to stack stuff. I get busy and don’t file things away. One of my strengths is being organized. I think by shifting my focus to “being more organized,” I will file things away as part of the process of being more organized.

This is not just semantics. It is really a shift in how you see the world and yourself in that world. It is shifting from attacking yourself to accepting yourself. It is shifting from being part of the problem to being the solution. It is shifting away from fear and towards love.

I invite you to think positively too. Instead of trying to change who you are, go with your strengths. Improve the best parts of you and the rest will take care of itself.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

DID 2009 GO AS YOU HAD PLANNED?

2009 is almost over. Did it go as you had planned? I know mine didn’t. The economic picture just hasn’t improved as predicted (or hoped for). Self-reliance is still the best way to plan. You know you can depend upon yourself. Finding a new job probably took longer than you had planned. Companies are being more selective than ever. Employers are adding more interviews into their processes. I have heard of as many as ten interviews for one job for the top candidate. This is in addition to the fact that employers probably already know the candidate. Who You Know Now more than ever, it is who you know. For years you have heard, “Networking, networking, and more networking is the way to a job.” More true than ever! Eighty percent of the jobs are not advertised. With the unemployment rate over 12%, you need to find one of the jobs in that 80% pool. So try volunteering where you want to work. Get an internship, paid or not. Internships aren’t just for those out of college. Find ways to make connections. Go to industry, association or other meetings where the folks who do the hiring or do the work you want to do gather. Do informational interviews. No risk, no gain, no job. If you read me regularly, you know I am all about self-evaluations. So do the self evaluations (already) so you know what you are best suited for and pursue the job out of it.

The Final Analysis

There are only eleven more days to 2009. See where you have been. Sit down for a moment with a pen and paper and jot down answers to the following:

• What were your greatest accomplishments in 2009?
• What did you learn from each of these accomplishments?
• What were your biggest failures or disappointments in 2009?
• What did you learn from your failures and disappointments?
• How did you limit yourself in 2009?

Now analyze this information and use your conclusions to amaze yourself in 2010. If the questions seem overwhelming, just do the first three accomplishments/disappointments that pop into your head as you read the questions. 2010 and Your Future Unless you are really jazzed about what you are doing, I encourage you to pursue your dream job. If your job “isn’t so bad” and you feel “ok,” you should be scared. It is this mindset that will let 30 years slip on down the road, and suddenly you feel like you wasted time and opportunity. It isn’t that you wasted time so much as “did time.” Is that the working legacy that you want to leave? How does “doing time” in a job affect your family? Or, do you want days where you leap out of bed in the morning so excited by the prospect of working? At the end of the day do you want to be happy and satisfied about the day’s job or just “ok”? Life is too short to just be "ok." The choice is yours. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly, Elisabeth Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive and Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com