REPROGRAMMING YOURSELF

Your brain and mind are the most powerful instruments you will ever encounter. The statement that we only use 10% is wrong. The brain is actually always working. It works hard enough to power a ten-watt light bulb, 24/7. 

The statement that we (the human race – we) under utilize our brain is mostly true. I have read scientific articles about Buddhist monks who meditate in 39 degree (F) rooms. They not only keep themselves warm, but also when wrapped in semi-frozen wet blankets, are able to dry the blankets within an hour. That truly is mind over matter.

Now, you may not want to learn mediation to dry your laundry. But, think about all the things that could improve you and your life if you had better use of your brain.

At many hospitals, there are Mind-Body studies. Out of these have come the “relaxation response” techniques to overcome stress and many illnesses. As the name implies, you teach your body to relax in the face of a stressful event. It has been used to treat anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, heartbeat irregularities, excessive anger, insomnia and even fertility problems. It works by producing changes in metabolism; breathing rate, heart rate and thermoregulation. These Mind-Body centers are studying other ways meditation can help the mind control physical processes once thought to be uncontrollable.

Brain 101
There are three main parts to the brain. There is the mid-brain. This is where the brain stem resides. There is a lot of “stuff” here. It is from this area that most of your unconscious bodily functions (or autonomic processes) are controlled (breathing and heartbeat for example). This is also the seat of your emotions. The cerebrum (the large gray mass of wrinkles we see in pictures of the brain), controls our conscious actions via the central nervous system. It also controls cognitive and conscious functions such as memory, language and motor function. Then there is the cerebellum. This works with both of the other systems to fine-tune your responses. For example, I think, “write my blog article” which becomes hundreds of thoughts and instructions (lift hands, hover over keyboard, push down over appropriate keys, etc.), of which I am only aware of a few. All those thoughts and instructions involve the entire brain. (Does this mean I'm a brainiac?)

Placebos
“One of the major contributors to maintaining health and removing disease is the attitude of the patient”, says Professor Oakley Ray, a psychologist from Vanderbilt University in Tennessee. “Words can have the same effect as drugs.”

The healing properties of a positive expectation are widely accepted today, because of the use of placebos in drug trials. Volunteers react physically to substances that contain nothing, as if they contained the actual drug. The responses elicited by placebos indicate a mind/body interaction that is guided by subjective factors, such as expectation, beliefs, meaning and hope for improvement. The effect is very specific and depends on the information given to the recipient. Tell me this pill will help me, and it usually will.

The next time you are cut-off in traffic. Think about all your responses, reactions and feelings. There is the danger response. The adrenaline flowing through your veins, your heart rate speeds up, your breathing quickens, you may get angry, and so on. What if you had a different response? What if, we can make the unconscious and the conscious brains tune-into each another and produce a different, a better, response?

A Better Response
The brain learns and it can unlearn and relearn. This ability to ‘change its mind’ is called neuro-plasticity in neuroscience. We learn to get angry at being cut-off in traffic. We can learn to take a more detached response and say to ourselves, “That fellow must not have seen me.” And, then we continue on our way without the adrenaline flowing, heart palpitations and heavy breathing.

You can also retrain your brain to be happier. Simple techniques can retrain the brain and body. Traits that appear fixed (mood, temperament, personality) are not permanent. Experiments have shown that experienced mediators have more activity in the left frontal lobe of their brain. It is in that part that happiness and other positive emotions reside. These findings imply that happiness is something we can cultivate through mental training, such as meditation. Mind over matter, intentionally.

Meditation
“One of the most basic mental trainings is the cultivation of mindfulness, especially performed on the basis of observing one’s breathe.” His Holiness the Dalai Lama said this in his book, “The Universe in a Single Atom.” He went on to say, “One of the most crucial elements of training in mindfulness is the development and application of attention. ... In Buddhist psychology, attention is defined as the faculty that helps direct the mind to a chosen object among the variety of sensory information we experience in any given moment.”

Meditation is a practice. That means the more you do it, the better you become. It also means even master monks (who can dry wet blankets in cold rooms) have “off” days. Be gentle with yourself and be patient. Take a class or two. A ritual, such as setting out and lighting a candle, can very helpful in telling your self and your body – time to meditate.

Essentially, meditation is sitting comfortably in a quiet place. Place your hands in your lap. Focus your eyes on an object (e.g., the burning candle), or close your eyes. Breathe. Count to five between your first several breathes. Breathe in for a count of five and then out for a count to five. When that becomes comfortable, just breathe normally. In the beginning, or when you feel overwhelmed, just observe your thoughts. Observe without judgments. Not even a, “why am I thinking about that?” Just observe. The more you just observe, the less activity there will be. Later, focus on a single object. You are going for prolonged attention and a clarity or vividness of which you perceive the object. In the beginning, only sit for ten minutes. Increase the sessions at a pace that is comfortable for you.

Et Voilá! You are meditating. Meditative practices provide a settled and disciplined mind. As a bonus, you are creating happier neurons. More happy neurons mean you become happier. You can retrain your brain to be happier. To make meditation a habit, tie it to something else that you do every morning. For me, I began by tying it to my morning coffee. Make the coffee, turn it on, and go meditate while it brews. Pour the coffee and get on with my morning routine. I often find my cat has curled up in my lap when I go to get up. She meditates too!

This Week’s Coaching
Try meditation. Take a class. Google it and learn more detailed information. I cannot emphasize the benefits enough. Things that bothered you in the past will cease to bother you. By letting go of morning traffic, you'll work better and be in a better mood at work. You'll respond to situations with a more appropriate response. Appropriate for you.

Try it! You’ll like it!

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

Are You Stressed?

Tis the season to be stressed. Yep, we are entering the … > > > > > > > > > > > Holiday Zone. < < < < < < < < < < < < It isn’t as if you aren’t stressed enough already. You have work, you have family, you have a demanding boss, you have all the events your kids belong to, you have work at home, you have work at … whoa! You have too much going on. What are you going to do about all this activity? Are you stressed-out?

First, breathe. Just put everything on pause for two minutes, and just breathe. For these two minutes, notice your breath going in and out. Just focus on your breath. Notice how it slows down as you focus on it. Breathe in for a count of four; breathe out for a count of four. Now breathe deeply in for a count of four, hold it for a count of four and then breathe out for a count of four. Repeat this throughout the day. Especially, do it when you are about to explode from the frustration and overwhelm.

Plan A

The “A” stands for attitude. I’ll bet you had thought this is where we talk about priorities and making a list. Only partially true. Your attitude towards what you are doing is more important than what you are doing. Stress is supposed to be a part of our lives. It is only when we are overwhelmed that we think stress is bad. If it wasn’t for stress, we would have many fewer accomplishments, on a personal level and on a societal level.

Yes, stress is good for you. Like all good things, stress is good in moderation. It is when it gets out of control, when it takes over our lives and snuffs the joy out of other things that it is bad for us. “I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.” (Martha Washington, 1732 - 1802)

Now before you think I am trying to get you to change your mind about stress, I think you do need to consider how important what you are doing is and is it in your best interests to be doing it.

Importance and Best Interests

Things that you do usually break down into three categories. First are the “must do’s” – and these include your family, your job or source of income, your friends and your community. The second category of to-do’s is the should-do and the final category is the nice-to-do. Not everything in these broad categories is required. What are your goals as a family, for example? If one of your family goals is to all sit down together for dinner, how do you accomplish that? Perhaps compromise and creative thinking can also accomplish your goals. Perhaps by setting a goal of just four nights of ‘family dinner is doable. Or by bringing the entire family to a practice, you can have a family dinner, picnic-style at the practice.

The second category of to-do’s are should-do’s and third are nice-to-do’s. When a season has its own set of demands, they often take the place or add to your should-dos and nice-to-dos. Again, review what you are doing or planning to do against what is important to your goals of: family, work, friends and community. What will further your goals and what is getting in the way? A couple of years ago, I did it all – baked the cookies, made homemade gifts, decorated “everything” and was too tired to really enjoy the season or my family. At the same time, many family members had gone on diets. You guessed it, my cookies went untouched. This, in turn, hurt my feelings. When I asked, “What, you don’t like my cooking anymore?” The family member asked if I was trying to sabotage their diet! Talk about a communication gap. We laughed about the mix-up in expectations and intentions. Now, I take in the bigger picture and weigh my to-do list against how it affects everybody. This has had the happy effect of dropping some things off my list or reducing the load. I love to bake, but now I only bake cookies for those who will welcome them. This has reduced my baking time and expenses. Win-win.

How important are the obligations and commitments that you have right now? The things that you usually do at the holiday times, how important are they really? What can you delegate? Who can support you? What are your limits and where do you draw the line? How important is your fun-level to you? For everything you put on your list, ask the question, “What benefit will it bring to the goals I have for my family, work, friends or community? If your goal is more family time, don’t put “join the holiday choir” on your list, unless singing is your passion and giving back to the community your goal. Just because you “always” do it, doesn’t mean you need to keep doing it. Perhaps it is time to let someone else do it. Pass the torch. Enjoy the fruit of their labors for a change. Own Your List

Now that you have a list of just those things that are truly important to you, enjoy doing those things. “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” (Norman Vincent Peale, 1898 - 1993)

When you are stressed, when you are harried, remember you chose to do these things. Take a couple of minutes and do the breathing exercise outlined at the beginning of this article. Breathe. Do the counts for a slightly longer period, but stay comfortable. You can do it at a stop light. You can do it in the middle of cleaning up the kitchen. Better is to do it when you take out the trash! Enjoy the night sky while you breathe. You’ll come back in the house with a smile on your face.

If you are very stressed, ask, “Is it time for a course correction?” Do you need to reevaluate what you are doing? If so, do it. Get back to enjoying life and the things you are doing. If it isn’t fun, it isn’t worth doing. Life is too short not to have fun at all times of the year.

Do you feel burdened with too many responsibilities and not enough time for personal enjoyment? Balance is important in your life. Call me and we’ll evaluate the balance in your life, and identify areas that are out of balance and develop a personal action plan to determine your most important priorities. You’ll learn how to set limits, delegate and gain support. You’ll develop a personal action plan to achieve better work life balance. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive And Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Tom Peters, a business guru who is frequently one step ahead in business thinking, says this about the importance of humor at work: "The number one premise of business is that it need not be boring or dull. It ought to be fun. If it's not fun, you're wasting your life." Peters believes that infusing the workplace with more humor, will increase creativity, teamwork and ultimately productivity. The reality is that the best people are attracted to working environments where there is an element of fun. If good people are placed in an environment that is impersonal, cold and unfriendly for an extended period of time, that is how they will eventually behave is his contention. Studies show that 84 percent of employers believe employees with a sense of humor do a better job. Another study showed that of 737 CEOs surveyed, 98 percent preferred job candidates with a sense of humor to those without. It's important to note that a good sense of humor need not include the capacity to tell a funny joke or the ability to fire off witty remarks. The essence of developing a good sense of humor is not taking oneself too seriously and keeping a positive attitude. How to implement an office sense of humor? One way is to poke fun at oneself. A little bit of self-deprecating humor can provide a necessary relief from tense situations. Conversely, an excess of this type of humor may make other people uncomfortable and lead to serious low self-esteem issues. Another type of humor is put-down humor. This type of humor involves teasing, sarcasm and ridicule and it tends to be a popular form of humor around the water cooler. If aimed at politicians, actors, etc. it is harmless and can help to form social bonds. Be careful, though, if aimed at fellow workers, it can become a form of social aggression and will backfire. Better, is to use bonding humor and observational humor to lighten the stress. Bonding humor is to tell a funny, clean joke or witty banter. Think of "fun to be around" type of people. Bonding humor can provide a sense of togetherness. Be certain to include everyone in on the joke, so it doesn’t isolate individual employees. Observational humor is the healthiest of all. People who use this type of humor have a unique outlook on life. They are always able to see the bright side of things and they don't take themselves too seriously. This enables them to deal more easily with daily stress in their life at work and at home. Bill Cosby, Russell Peters and Bob Newhart are masters of observational humor. Observational humor is the only type of humor which can be enjoyed alone. As a result, studies linking humor with health have tended to concentrate on this type of humor. Humor has the power to do many positive things to our bodies. It's responsible for elevating our mood, breaking up boredom and fatigue and giving us more resilience. It also boosts our immune system, reduces stress, relaxes muscles and lowers our blood pressure. Your humorous personal health also has positive repercussions at work. Because of humor’s social nature, those people with a healthy sense of humor are less overwhelmed in tough situations, more cheerful and less rigid. They are also able to use laughter to diffuse hostility and encourage cooperation when working in a team and completing projects. People who laugh well together work well together. "A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done." President Dwight D. Eisenhower knew about leadership, first as a general and then as president. As a leader, isn’t the goal really, to get things done? In these times when there is so much uncertainty, and times are tough; getting things done in a harmonious manner will get you ahead much faster. HUMOR HELP IS HERE So now you're interested in lifting your laugh-ability factor, or maybe finding your inner funny bone. Here are a few tips on how to do this at work. Stifle sarcasm: It has too much potential to be taken the wrong way in a work environment. Tell a joke - Don't just memorize the latest joke making the rounds on email. Tailor your jokes to the individual or group and keep them clean. If in doubt, think your nine year-old’s joke book. The occasional comment: Making a funny comment to diffuse tension during a meeting is a great idea, but don't overdo it. Join a friendly neighborhood: Hang around funny friends. Spend time with those who are upbeat and avoid negative people whenever possible. Chuckle with the team: You can be seen as having a great sense of humor without ever telling a joke. Just listen to those around you and share in their laughter. Reminders: Remind yourself to have fun everyday. Place humorous cartoons and quotes in your personal workspace. Be mindful of subject matter and the object of the humor. Sporadic personal putdowns: This can put others at ease and you don't risk offending anyone. Be sure to keep a light mood and don't make it a habit. Now you're off and laughing to make your world a more harmonious, healthy and less stressful place. Laugh. Often. Keeping your sense of humor is a process. It is not a place to get to, but an ongoing journey. You are always developing your humor. People change, circumstances change. After all, who foresaw joking about salary reductions and layoffs? If you want help improving or reviving your sense of humor, feel free to contact me now. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly, Elisabeth Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive And Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com