5 STEPS TO AN ABUNDANT LIFE

What do you believe? Your thoughts make up your world, your life, your reality.

The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings…
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.

Buddha, Dhammapada

If you think you don’t have enough, you won’t have enough. I was reminded of that fact as I read the business section in the newspaper this morning. I was reading about special savings accounts that help break poverty’s cycle. The article began with a case history of Dametria Williams. She attributed her turn-around to two things: a new attitude and the special savings account (read the article here).

“I used to walk through the world thinking there is never enough,” she said. “There was not enough money; there is not enough food; there is not enough time.

“When you are in the mind-set of thinking there is not enough, you aren’t even looking for help. But when you realize that there is enough – that money is a manageable tool – you start to see what help is available to you.”

If you focus on what you don’t have – that is what you will get. As you go throughout your day, you are preoccupied with what you are missing. So when an opportunity presents itself, you won’t see it as opportunity. Like Ms. Williams when she was in her “not enough” mind-set, she didn’t have enough money to save any. Heck, she didn’t have enough to pay the bills! When she first saw the special savings account offer, she didn’t see it as an opportunity to get her out of poverty. She had the change of attitude and is on her way out of poverty for herself AND her daughter. All by a shift in attitude!

To help you shift your attitude into the “abundance” gear, here are five steps to an abundant life.

1. You Choose What You Believe

Everyday, you wake and choose to believe something. You choose to believe it’ll be a great day, or that you “woke up on the wrong side.” It is not what you are that will hold you back. It is what you think you are not, that will. What you believe to be true is what will happen to you. Believe good things and good things will happen. Actions come from belief. You will act in a manner that is consistent with your innermost beliefs. You believe you don’t have enough money, you won’t see the offer of help. It IS that simple.

What will you choose to believe today? Tomorrow when you awaken? Change your mind and you change your world.

2. It Isn’t Black or White, Good or Bad

When life happens to us, we tend to label the incident. It was a “good time” or it was a “bad day” on Tuesday. In hindsight, maybe it was neither. It was just “life.” Sometimes what seems bad at the time may not be so bad later on. If you didn’t buy a house in the last four years, maybe that is a really good thing for you today.

When we are in the midst of life’s messiness, things can become distorted by an apparent crisis. Take a step back. Use a wider perspective. Don’t just look at the fragments in front of you. Notice what is actually happening without labeling or judging. This will give you a completely new operating perspective.

3. Deciding To Act

Life, in all its glorious shades of gray, has just happened to you. What’s a person to do? You can’t jump ahead a year and use hindsight. How do you make a decision? You do the best you can with what you know at the time. Then you act. Once you have made the decision to act, possibilities will open up. Your decision to act will be backed up by your belief in your decision, thus you will see possibilities and offers of help you may not have noticed before.

Only hindsight will tell you if this is the best decision for you. Do not listen to others. Do not second guess yourself. The experience and life lessons you will learn based on this decision will help to develop and refine your gut reaction or intuition to future decisions. The more you hone this skill, the more confidence you will gather.

Look at what you know. Look at what is missing. Look at the whole situation from different angles. Look at the parts from different angles. Visualize various outcomes: worst case, best case, and all the rest in between. What is real? What is “False Expectations Appearing Real”? All problems have solutions. Trust your intuition.

4. Think Vs. Feel

Feel your feelings. We are emotional beings who think. One third of our brain is still primitive and operates totally on feelings. This is scientific fact. Your ‘flight or fight’ adrenaline rush comes from your limbic brain. That is raw emotion. Deal with it. If you try to ignore or stuff your feelings into a box, they pop out at unexpected times in what can be overwhelming amounts. That is not good for anyone. You can’t think your way out of an emotional problem. Sometimes, you can feel your way out of a rational, thinking problem. That is the power of feelings. Use this power to your advantage.

It is when you acknowledge and deeply understand your feelings, will you begin to know yourself. It can be difficult to feel our feelings when they are sadness, hurt or anger. There is so much value in them. Without sadness, you wouldn’t know what happiness was. If you never were hurt, you wouldn’t know pleasure. If you didn’t know anger, you wouldn’t know peace.

There is a secret here. To learn your feelings, sit quietly with your eyes closed. Take a few deep and slow breathes. Feel your feelings, but do not become carried away by them. Feel the sadness in a situation. Detach from it. Observe it. What does this sadness make you want to do? Is there a better response? When you can identify your feelings without becoming the feeling, you are demonstrating a certain mastery of your life. By becoming a student of yourself, you will learn much. This in turn, will give you more access to yourself. This deepens your reserves so that when challenges arise, you are better able to cope and provide a better response for your life. This is a fabulous skill to develop. It only takes practice to develop.

The next time you feel something, pause and breathe. Really notice the feeling. What is it? Hurt or sadness? Anger or resentment? Frustration or annoyance? What do you learn? What insights does this give you? What is really going on here? Do you need to do anything other than what you are doing? Use this knowledge to grow and live your life with greater ease and freedom. That is what insight really is – seeing inside ourselves.

Acknowledge when you follow your intuition. Say to yourself, “I listened, I acted and it worked.” Repeat. As you develop this part of yourself, you are actually multiplying abundance.

5. When the Student Is Ready, the Teacher Appears

As you understand who you are, you will also begin to see what you really want. Then, you will see the abundance all around you, because you are ready to see it. You have shifted your attitude towards abundance. Henry David Thoreau said, “"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.” See the abundance all around you.

I am going to end with a series of quotations. This is to reinforce that other great thinkers have these same beliefs and know (and feel) them to be true.

“Accept yourself as you are. Otherwise, you will never see opportunity. You will not feel free to move toward it; you will feel you are not deserving.” – Maxwell Maltz

“There's a saying among prospectors: “Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find.” – Robert Flaherty

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” e.e. cummings

“We are constantly invited to be who we are.” – Henry David Thoreau

“We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” – Max Depree

“Man becomes that of which he thinks.” – Upanishad Proverb

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” – Norman Vincent Peale

“Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” – William James

This Week’s Coaching

As you go about your week, notice your feelings. Ideally, twice a day, sit quietly with your eyes closed. Take a few deep and slow breaths. Feel your feelings, but do not become carried away by them. Detach from the feeling. Observe it. What does it make you want to do? Is there a better response? Identify your feelings without becoming the feeling. Develop a level of mastery of your life. By becoming a student of yourself, you will learn much. The more you practice, the higher level of mastery you will develop. Enjoy the greater ease and freedom you will have in your life.

I'm curious, what do you notice? What helps you? What are your challenges? Send me an email, or enter a comment below and let me know how this exercise works for you. I’d love to know. Thanks!

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

NEW YEAR, NEW POSSIBILITIES

What are your new possibilities for the New Year?

Today I want you to take a step back from your life and look at the bigger picture. Look at all the events that have brought you to where you are today. I’m sure you’ve had some crooked paths, some back-tracking, some do-over’s and a few straight and narrow paths. Thinking about just 2009, have you advanced your cause? Are you closer to your goals? Or, did the year just disappear into busy-ness?

This is the traditional time to take stock and think about resolutions. So, we promise to live like monks (not spending money, saving all we can, going to the gym, not eating as much as we want to) and then find out in February, we are NOT cut out for the monastic life. No surprise there. This year I am taking a different path.

My theme for 2010 is, “All things are possible.”

I am going to focus on all the things that I am good at now and improve them. I spent a lot of time trying to improve my weaknesses in 2009. I think now, that I just wasted my time. Why work on something I am not good at or is not in my character to do, when I could accomplish so much more by focusing on a strength? I think that by reinforcing my strengths, I will correct some of weaknesses as part of the process.

One of my (many) weaknesses is I don’t have a neat office. I have a tendency to stack stuff. I get busy and don’t file things away. One of my strengths is being organized. I think by shifting my focus to “being more organized,” I will file things away as part of the process of being more organized.

This is not just semantics. It is really a shift in how you see the world and yourself in that world. It is shifting from attacking yourself to accepting yourself. It is shifting from being part of the problem to being the solution. It is shifting away from fear and towards love.

I invite you to think positively too. Instead of trying to change who you are, go with your strengths. Improve the best parts of you and the rest will take care of itself.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

I Got the Job! NOW WHAT?

O.K., I got the job. BUT …

• My cubicle is attached to a swinging door and the constant banging is giving me a headache.
• I only know the boss and no one has introduced themselves.
• On top of that, I have no telephone, no office supplies, my chair is missing a wheel, the computer only works in Linux, and my cubicle is located in the coldest corner of the room.

This is not what I expected. I want to quit. Reality Check This is not what anyone expects, but often it is what we get. We expect a honeymoon period with a new job. Sometimes it only lasts as long as a handshake. We expect our new employer to welcome us and be prepared for us on the first day. The reception a new employee receives varies from company to company depending on who is responsible for welcoming new staff and what is usually done. A good welcome includes a new employee orientation, a “buddy” to take us around the first day and introduce us to others, shows us where the break-room and bathrooms are, and a work-area with the basic supplies. In an ideal situation, the “buddy” will also communicate all the unwritten rules and expectations to you. Clearly, this is not what you got. What happens next is entirely up to you. Your next step will show the world what kind of person you are. What are your options? Quitting If you quit, all the research you did to find a good company will be for naught. The good benefits’ package you discovered at that company will not happen. One day does not make or break a job or a person. So, get a grip. Go Home Sick Going home sick on the first day surely will impress the boss. Yes, you have a headache, but do you really want sickness to be your first impression? It will show the boss that you are a whiner and a quitter. Not a good first impression. You may never recover from this blunder. Even if you never complain again, you will be forever labeled “the complainer.” So, take an analgesic (aspirin/Advil/Tylenol). This is why it is in your briefcase. Make Lemonade Since you can’t get any work done and have some time on your hands, make a list or two. First, list all the repairs needed in your work-area. No one expects you to work with a broken chair or computer or without a telephone. Maybe the boss didn’t know things were broken. Give the benefit of the doubt. When the facilities person arrives to make repairs, sweet-talk them into mitigating the effects of the swinging door, if possible. Remember that seniority usually gets the best cubicle and you are the new kid on the block. Second, list all the reasonable office supplies that you need. If the work-area was vacant prior to your arrival, things probably got pillaged by the people around you. You know how it is: an empty space is fair game for scavenging. Again, give the benefit of the doubt. At the bottom, list the high-end supplies that you need as a wish list. Now, make an appointment to see your boss. When you have your meeting, tell the boss you want to be the best worker you can and to accomplish that you need a few things. Present the repair list with tact and good humor. The boss may be embarrassed about not having checked things out. Someone may have dropped the ball. Don’t blame, don’t complain. Make it easy for people to save face by saying, “everyone is so busy around here.” The boss will appreciate your good attitude and good manners. Now present your supply list. Again, use tact. Don’t complain; say something like, “I know at my old office, the empty desk always got raided for supplies.” When pointing out the high-end items, say that they “would be helpful,” and describe how they’d help your performance. You don’t know what the department’s budget is for these things and you don’t want to look like a prima donna who can’t work with the basics. Now that the hard part is over, ask the boss who the best person would be to be your “buddy.” Explain that you don’t want to monopolize the boss’ time, but on the other hand, you don’t really feel comfortable going around and introducing yourself. You think a “buddy” to ease the way would be a good solution. The boss will probably jump on this idea and even make that first introduction for you. If that doesn’t happen, you are a grown up. Introduce yourself. A Class Act You have shown yourself to be a resourceful self-starter. You were assertive and got things done in a non-confrontational manner. You provided solutions, not problems. You have shown yourself to be someone it would be nice to have in the cubicle next door. This may also get you a better cubicle. Until then, bring a warm sweater to wear. Let me know how you are dealing with a new job. Share your experiences in the comments section. Or, send me an email to eal@EALCoaching.com . I’d love to know what you are doing to stay positive in a new environment. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly, Elisabeth Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive And Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com