RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

Today I am revisiting a blog entry from December 27, 2009. That article was all about setting (or not) New Year’s resolutions. Here is part of what I said.

“I am going to focus on all the things that I am good at now and improve them. I spent a lot of time trying to improve my weaknesses in 2009. I think now, that I just wasted my time.”

One of the things I didn’t confess to in that article is … procrastination. Yep! Me too. I know, you are shocked. Not ;-)

This weekend, I finally did my 2009 taxes. Technically, I still have four more days to get them done. Spoken like a true procrastinator. I wasn’t as organized as I want to be, and part of doing the taxes is also getting the organizing part done. Therefore, it isn’t just one job, but two. I dragged and dragged my feet. This is the final weekend to get the giant project of two jobs done. I did it. And, as so often happens, it wasn’t so bad a job. I also added about 1% of my time to getting 2010 organized and set up. Thus, I will only have one job to do next year. Yeah!

Several things made my job easier. First, I didn’t waste time judging myself and my previous lack of organization. Instead, as I was doing the organization of receipts and old bills, it allowed my mind to create an organizational system for next year. It was smooth and flowed organically. Almost painless.

“Why work on something I am not good at or is not in my character to do, when I could accomplish so much more by focusing on a strength? I think that by reinforcing my strengths, I will correct some of weaknesses as part of the process.”

This proved to be so true. The lack of blaming freed up my mind just to get on with organizing 2010, as I was organizing 2009. I had set aside both days of the weekend for these projects. Instead, I exceeded my expectations and got a year and a quarter’s worth of bills, receipts, statements and debris cleaned up and organized, plus actually doing the taxes, all in five hours. The only hangover, is the all the shredding I need to do.

We cause so much of our own suffering. Wasting time on blaming myself for past acts does nothing to solve today’s problems. It just preoccupies the mind with errors, omissions, and problems. Letting go of my “bad self,” letting go of judgment, and just working with my “present self,” let me shift from being part of the problem, towards finding and being part of the solution.

“This is not just semantics. It is really a shift in how you see the world and yourself in that world. It is shifting from attacking yourself to accepting yourself. It is shifting from being part of the problem to being the solution. It is shifting away from fear and towards love.”

This shift is huge. The satisfaction of projects well done and tasks fully accomplished is very gratifying. It reinforces my self-respect and self-esteem.

The thing is, if I was coaching a client, I would be demonstrating compassion and tolerance for their foibles. I would tell them to ease up on themselves. Doing this for myself was so much harder. Back in December, I realized I loved others more than I did myself. This shift towards demonstrating loving kindness towards myself, did not promote narcissism or selfishness. It just easily allowed solutions to surface. I was much more efficient and productive. A better human being.

Which leads me back to the title, Resistance is futile. Buddhism believes that our external situation is created by our internal minds. You know you have to do something (2009 taxes in my case). Stalling does not make the job easier. You do it more times in your mind, by procrastinating. That makes the job bigger in your mind, than the reality of doing it. Just get it over with and do it. My reality of doing it was so much easier (and less painful) than my internal procrastination.

“I invite you to think positively too. Instead of trying to change who you are, go with your strengths. Improve the best parts of you and the rest will take care of itself. ”

Whatever you are, be a good one. ~Abraham Lincoln

This week’s coaching questions:

Ponder the three quotes I used at the end of this article.

1.       What is your external situation? How do you create your reality?

2.      List five of your strengths. How can you improve them, so the “rest will take care of itself”?

1)      ________________

2)     ________________

3)     ________________

4)     ________________

5)     ________________

3.      Acknowledge how you are good by putting it in comments below or sending me an email. You would not hesitate to tell someone you love how they are good. Do yourself the same favor.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

THE TRUTH ABOUT BLOGGING

A Celebration

Today marks a full year of dedicated weekly entries to my blog. When I made the commitment to weekly postings, I wasn’t positive I could do it. I wasn’t sure I was up to the challenge. I knew it was the right thing to do – so I just took the leap of faith to do it. It became a growing and learning experience for me. I must admit to being quite proud of myself for sticking it out and getting it done!

What Was Easier

I had issues with coming up with a monthly posting. Having a weekly schedule was actually easier. I just built the time into a steady weekly schedule. It wasn’t an “OMG – the end of the month and I haven’t posted yet‼” type of panic.

It was easy to come up with topics. I love writing and having a continuous need to fill made it easy to keep writing. I actually have a bunch of topics ready to go and have more help to give on existing topics. I could blog on résumés alone!

What Was Harder

Sometimes I just didn’t want to write. Or I didn’t feel inspired by anything. Or, I had an argument with someone and didn’t want to leave my pity-party. Or, I was just plain lazy. Or … well, you get the idea. Just by sitting at my computer at my “blog time” usually got me writing. It may have been abysmal writing to start, but got better as the session went on. The important thing is I stuck with it until I produced something acceptable.

What I learned was that exercising the self-management to get it done AND get the level of quality I want to project, was just a muscle. The more I exercised it, the stronger it became. As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.” So, I have built a good habit. (Yeah! more champagne...)

Something that has been very hard for me is the lack of comments or responses to my blog. I poll friends, family, clients and colleagues for topics and ideas. But, nobody (even when I beg or bribe) leaves comments. They give me lots of verbal comments, but not written. Sigh. But, is someone other than family, friend or client reading me? Thus, I have no idea if I am spending my writing on what you most want to know. Am I helping? Or, not so much?

What I Learned

The first step I actually took to achieving my goal was simply to “sit down at the computer.” Yup! That simple. And, that hard.

Conventional wisdom says that a project this big had to have a plan. And, of course, you then “break it down into manageable steps.” Which, of course, meant: I didn’t know where to start. Do I start with a list of topics? Or, should I start with themes, or … what? Paralysis by analysis! I spent several days just analyzing the best way to start. In the end, I tossed all that thinking and planning and step making. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” Will Rodgers is spot on. So, I just sat at the computer and started writing.

I also found that as the year went on, I also could see that a topic or the direction I was taking with it, was working (or not), sooner. I became a much better editor of the idea and actual writing. I hope you agree.

Taking A New Direction

Spring is here and with it is the promise of new beginnings. As I begin my next year of weekly writing for the blog, I am changing the format slightly, for a fresh approach. I am going to incorporate coaching questions for you at the end. I am a fan of Escaping Mediocrity, Sarah Robinson’s blog. Sarah recently had readers “Pimp Your Blog & Share Your Link Love” on her blog. She got 68 replies. (I’m soooo envious.)

A coach herself, Sarah often ends or incorporates coaching questions into her blog posts. She has done this very effectively in her “Plan to Escape Mediocrity.”  I love this idea. Although I have used questions in the past, I am going to provide more structure for you. (Thank you Sarah. Is it still plagiarism when I attribute it?)

For This Week

On a piece of paper (physical or an electronic document), write down your answers to the following questions. The act of writing down your goal(s) and the action steps needed, will move you forward. It will help you create momentum.

1. What is your current, single most important goal?
2. What is your first step to achieving your goal?
3. Break that first step down into the smallest imaginable pieces.
4. What single next action of those pieces will move you closer to your goal?
5. Can you do that action today? Then do it!

Print and post this document where you will see it everyday. Check off what you accomplish. Celebrate reaching your goal.

Stretch Goal

Please post a comment on what works best for you to achieve your goals. Just one single thing that keeps you on track to reaching your goals. This will do two things. One, you will help someone else reach their goals. Your tip may be better for them than my tip. (Yeah) Two, I’ll know I have readers. (Double yeah!) Two gifts with one action – what could be better?

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

What Are Your Intentions?

We judge ourselves by our intentions. Others judge us by our actions. Are you in synch with your actions? It’s an important question. If you are in-synch, you are more likely to get a job or keep a job. You intend to treat the job hunt like a job – Do you spend six hours a day in the various job hunt tasks? You intend to call back that person – But, do you? Do you it when you said you would? Or, do you let other things get in the way? You intend to be helpful to everyone at work – Are you? Do you only help those that might help your career someday? Taking the Golden Rule (treating others as you would like to be treated) to work will help you to stand out among your peers. When you use the copier and out spits the last sheet, refill the tray. Going that extra mile and treating others the way you’d like to be treated or leaving equipment and supply areas the way you’d like to find them will get you ahead or help you keep your job. It’s just good karma. You intend to show organizational citizenship – Are you helpful to co-workers? If you see someone struggling with a task, approach that person and offer to assist them through the task, without anyone else knowing. Talk positively about your organization inside and out the company. Doing things that help the company or individual succeed will help you succeed. In the long run managers know who is helpful and who is just going through the motions. Managers take note of these actions and consider them when evaluating employees. Treat your job as if you are an entrepreneur of your job. Take ownership of the quality of your work. If you are a team leader or manager, create an atmosphere that promotes good organizational citizenship. Every member of an organization contributes to the success of the organization. It isn’t the manager’s job to keep the customer happy. That depends on every member of the team taking personal responsibility to ensure products and services are delivered splendidly. Taking a singular, "every man for himself" attitude won’t set you apart from the crowd. If layoffs occur, the hardest workers, the strong contributors, the most motivated employees are more likely to be the last out the door. This is a great time to contact me to ensure your intentions are your actions. Don’t wait, call me now at 916.803.1494 or send me an email eal@EALCoaching.com . Warmly, Elisabeth A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.