RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

Today I am revisiting a blog entry from December 27, 2009. That article was all about setting (or not) New Year’s resolutions. Here is part of what I said.

“I am going to focus on all the things that I am good at now and improve them. I spent a lot of time trying to improve my weaknesses in 2009. I think now, that I just wasted my time.”

One of the things I didn’t confess to in that article is … procrastination. Yep! Me too. I know, you are shocked. Not ;-)

This weekend, I finally did my 2009 taxes. Technically, I still have four more days to get them done. Spoken like a true procrastinator. I wasn’t as organized as I want to be, and part of doing the taxes is also getting the organizing part done. Therefore, it isn’t just one job, but two. I dragged and dragged my feet. This is the final weekend to get the giant project of two jobs done. I did it. And, as so often happens, it wasn’t so bad a job. I also added about 1% of my time to getting 2010 organized and set up. Thus, I will only have one job to do next year. Yeah!

Several things made my job easier. First, I didn’t waste time judging myself and my previous lack of organization. Instead, as I was doing the organization of receipts and old bills, it allowed my mind to create an organizational system for next year. It was smooth and flowed organically. Almost painless.

“Why work on something I am not good at or is not in my character to do, when I could accomplish so much more by focusing on a strength? I think that by reinforcing my strengths, I will correct some of weaknesses as part of the process.”

This proved to be so true. The lack of blaming freed up my mind just to get on with organizing 2010, as I was organizing 2009. I had set aside both days of the weekend for these projects. Instead, I exceeded my expectations and got a year and a quarter’s worth of bills, receipts, statements and debris cleaned up and organized, plus actually doing the taxes, all in five hours. The only hangover, is the all the shredding I need to do.

We cause so much of our own suffering. Wasting time on blaming myself for past acts does nothing to solve today’s problems. It just preoccupies the mind with errors, omissions, and problems. Letting go of my “bad self,” letting go of judgment, and just working with my “present self,” let me shift from being part of the problem, towards finding and being part of the solution.

“This is not just semantics. It is really a shift in how you see the world and yourself in that world. It is shifting from attacking yourself to accepting yourself. It is shifting from being part of the problem to being the solution. It is shifting away from fear and towards love.”

This shift is huge. The satisfaction of projects well done and tasks fully accomplished is very gratifying. It reinforces my self-respect and self-esteem.

The thing is, if I was coaching a client, I would be demonstrating compassion and tolerance for their foibles. I would tell them to ease up on themselves. Doing this for myself was so much harder. Back in December, I realized I loved others more than I did myself. This shift towards demonstrating loving kindness towards myself, did not promote narcissism or selfishness. It just easily allowed solutions to surface. I was much more efficient and productive. A better human being.

Which leads me back to the title, Resistance is futile. Buddhism believes that our external situation is created by our internal minds. You know you have to do something (2009 taxes in my case). Stalling does not make the job easier. You do it more times in your mind, by procrastinating. That makes the job bigger in your mind, than the reality of doing it. Just get it over with and do it. My reality of doing it was so much easier (and less painful) than my internal procrastination.

“I invite you to think positively too. Instead of trying to change who you are, go with your strengths. Improve the best parts of you and the rest will take care of itself. ”

Whatever you are, be a good one. ~Abraham Lincoln

This week’s coaching questions:

Ponder the three quotes I used at the end of this article.

1.       What is your external situation? How do you create your reality?

2.      List five of your strengths. How can you improve them, so the “rest will take care of itself”?

1)      ________________

2)     ________________

3)     ________________

4)     ________________

5)     ________________

3.      Acknowledge how you are good by putting it in comments below or sending me an email. You would not hesitate to tell someone you love how they are good. Do yourself the same favor.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com