NEW YEAR, NEW LOCATION

Hello readers of Executive and Life Coaching!

As you know, I took a short break from blogging. I found that I really miss the writing. So, here we are, back to writing and reading.

During the hiatus, I discovered how to read the statistics for the blog. This was very instructive as I got so few comments. It turns out, the most read items are about communication, success, conflict resolution and managing change. Not so much about career change or finding a job. I don’t know if this is a reflection on the sorry state of the economy and trying to find work when there are no jobs, or if the unemployed have just given up. 

Fortified with this new information, I have decided to revitalize my writing and focus more on these topics. With that comes an overdue redesign of my blog. I have tied it to my website now. More of a package deal. Mouse on over and check it out – http://www.ealcoaching.com/. 

For those of you who received my posts via email, you can continue to do so by clicking the “Sign Me Up!” button under “Email Subscription.”

I will go back to posting once a week. And, remember to post your comments on the site. Half the fun of a blog is the discussion that follows afterward.

Let’s play and have some fun.

Remember to set a bookmark for the new location.

Thanks for reading and see you over there!

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

THREE WAYS TO MANAGE CHANGE

“Change is constant; nothing remains the same.” – Heraclitus (c. 535 BCE – 475 BCE)

We Are Not In Kansas Anymore
As the current working generations, we have not been here before. The economy is not recovering in a way we can see in our daily lives. If we lost our jobs, we are probably still unemployed. “We” have not recovered. If we are employed, current changes in our organizations might cause some anxiety and disruption to the workplace, as well as to personal lives. We might experience new or different work expectations and priorities, fewer resources, reassignment or layoff of colleagues and co-workers, and/or the emotion of grief or loss.

“We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.” – Ronald D. Laing (1927-1989)

The Role of Work
We spend a great portion of our lives working, including commuting. We often look to the workplace to meet some of our needs for social contact and support. In addition, our identities in our professional life contribute to our sense of personal fulfillment. Work therefore plays a significant role in self-esteem, personal wellbeing and social wellbeing. When the work environment changes, you can feel challenged or threatened, and will respond according to how vulnerable you feel. This is why it is so devastating when we lose our jobs. For some of us, we are our work.

When our work changes, we are anxious until we absorb or process the change. The level of anxiety is usually in proportion to our acceptance or resistance to the change or to the quantity of changes. Here in 2010, change happens so fast we often don’t have time to assimilate the change into our life or repertoire when the next one comes along. This is future shock. It is this personal perception that we are constantly bombarded with changes (large and small) in too short a period of time. Future shock is a term for this psychological state of individuals and entire societies, introduced by Alvin Toffler in his book of the same name. (Future Shock, 1970)

"The illiterate of the 21st Century will not be those who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn." – Alvin Toffler

How do you cope with everything from your family life and your job to the daily time-crunch and the mounting complexity of everyday life? Change is all around you. You are told, “Change is good.” Then last year’s “miracle medicine” is suddenly yanked off the shelves for being harmful. Is change good? How do you know? What do you accept and what do you reject?

Know this: change is inevitable. Resistance is futile. Survival is optional. What follows are some ways for you to understand change and tips for adapting to change.

“If you don't develop a strategy of your own, you become a part of someone else's strategy.” – Alvin Toffler

Step one: Breathe. When we get anxious, we often hold our breath. Breathing is good. When you travel with a child by airplane, you are instructed to place the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on your child. Good advice. You can’t help others until you take care of yourself. You can’t make a decision or think unless you breathe. By taking a moment to slow down and deliberately breathe, you also give your brain a much needed pause to process and assimilate the information that you just received. All good.

Step two: Research. Gather what information you can about the change. You know the formulae: who, what, where, when, and why. I would also add “how” to your list of things to find out. You may not receive information about each of these components, but do the best you can. Oh, when I say research, I don’t mean asking your co-workers. They are usually not a good resource for reliable information. They are usually the source of wild speculation and rumors.

Here are some questions to get you started.
• Who is affected and who is involved in initiating the change?
• What is the change and what is it affecting?
• What will be lost? What will be gained?
• Where will this change happen? Is equipment required?
• When will the change happen? And, will it happen all at once or over a time period?
• Why is this change happening?
• How is this change going to affect you? Your job? Your family?

Step three: Resilience. Change is a process that occurs over time and involves themes of loss, uncertainty, newness and control. Adaptation to change comes in phases and your reactions may fluctuate greatly. Understanding what people around you typically experience and need when facing transition can help you to plan for the work and personal issues related to change. By developing a resiliency strategy, you will not just survive during times of change, but thrive.

Change is often external and situational: the new manager, the new policy, the reorganization. Unless psychological transition occurs, change will not be successful.

Inward psychological transition occurs much more slowly than situational change. Understanding what happens during this transition time, and allowing yourself to work through it, is key to coming to terms with change. See Step One above.

The questions I offered above and those you come up with on your own will help you identify some of the losses, nature of the newness and provide a degree of certainty in uncertain times. Sometimes the certainty is only, “I am certain I don’t know and no one else does, either.” Look for the opportunities in the change. Sometimes change is just different, not better or not worse.

Understanding your reactions to change, transition, and the reactions of others will guide you toward helpful approaches to coping. Here are some suggestions to consider for yourself, family and if you are a manger, to encourage your employees.

• Give and get support from co-workers, colleagues, supervisors, family and friends.
• Understand and define personal and organizational limitations. Let go, even if only temporarily, of those areas that are out of your control or influence. Take action, if appropriate, in those areas where you do have control or influence.
• Maintain self-care strategies (e.g., diet, rest, exercise, relaxation).
• Take advantage of opportunities to learn new skills required to adapt to the changes, or for achieving personal or professional growth from the challenges that the changes bring.
• Establish short-term goals to minimize uncertainty and provide a level of accomplishment during the transition.
• Talk about what is happening. Find people willing to listen and talk about what you think and feel.

“You cannot step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever-flowing on to you.” – Heraclitus

Change is inevitable. Getting a strategy to cope with change only makes sense. It will make your life easier. It might be a different river, but at least you’ll know the currents.

This Week’s Coaching:
1. What do you need to know about an upcoming change?
2. Will you adjust your usual approach to change?

Let me know what works or not for you. Let me know. You can reach me at eal@ealcoaching.com. Thanks for reading.

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching

CHANGE IN 7 EASY STEPS

So you want to make a change. How’s it working for you so far? Hmmm. Yes, change can be hard. It can be scary. It can be uncomfortable. It can also be rewarding. Change can be joyful. Change can be the best thing ever to happen to you.

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them” – Albert Einstein

You are here. You want to be over there. You can’t get to “over there” with the same thinking that got you to “here.” Einstein was right. It is your thinking that got you here. To get where you want to be, you have to think differently. Your current thinking recognizes you need to change. To actually make the change, you will have to adopt a different way of thinking, or at least a different approach or perspective.

1. Getting Outside the Box
How do you change your thinking? One way is to get a different view of your situation. A new perspective may be all it takes. By looking at the situation from a critic’s viewpoint, and trying to understand their point of view, you will gain valuable information. Don’t stop there. Check out the view from a supporter and again from someone totally unfamiliar with your situation. How does the situation look to a venture capitalist? If you had to sell your situation to someone, how would it look to that person? All these various viewpoints will provide you useful information.

Let’s say I want to leave my job. It is boring and filled with administrative trivia. A critic might say, “Perhaps, but, all jobs have elements of that. And, it is a steady paycheck. You’re crazy to leave.” An objective, third party might talk about the parts of the job I do like. The objective, third party would also talk about future opportunities in the job versus what my new venture would look like in five years. A venture capitalist might say my skills are wasted at the job and I definitely should break out on my own. If I had to sell my job options (stay and go) to someone, she might say the only one she’d buy is the solo gig. This was a very simplified version, but look at all the information gathered.

2. Overcoming Inertia
Some days, change is easy and just … flows. Other days, we question why we are putting ourselves (and family) through all this. Change clots up and doesn’t happen. That resistance to change should be expected. By expecting it, you will be prepared when inertia lifts its ugly head. The bigger and more drastic the change, the greater the inertia. Somewhere on the scale of small change to drastic change is your sweet spot of change. Aim for your sweet spot of change.

Let’s say you want to lose 20 pounds. Somewhere on the scale, (no pun intended) of a pound a day to a pound a month is your sweet spot of “one pound every X days.” Besides being bad for your health, losing a pound a day is just not sustainable. Nor is the weight loss this brings. If you choose the other end, at a pound a month, you will lose momentum. It will take too long for you to see results. Something sustainable for me is to lose a pound every four to five days. That way I build in the needed exercise and can modify my food intake without hardship or drastic lifestyle changes that won’t be sustainable.

Smaller changes also have the advantage of being easy to start. Sometimes the enthusiasm for change gets you going. The smaller changes are also more sustainable. If inertia does show up, make a small (micro small if necessary) step towards your change. It may feel ridiculously easy. Good. That’s the point. A step forward, no matter how big or how small is still forward.

3. You Can Only Change Yourself
Often the people in our lives do not want the change we want. Their inertia can be harder on you than your own. They may be negative, pessimistic or even try to stop us from changing. What to do? One strategy is to ask for their help and get them on your side. Or try to find a way to make the change without disrupting their lives too much. If necessary, you may have to cut them out of your life for a short time.

Recognize this truth and save yourself grief and frustrations. You may be able to control someone for a time, but you cannot force them to change. Instead, model your change. Be a good example of your change. Inspire, influence, encourage, support and help your important others. Realize their change is up to them. Find peace in that truth. Let go of your need to control others.

“The Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr is often quoted for good reason. Here is the beginning of it:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

4. Change What You Can
Life is messy. Sometimes you’ll want to change something you just can’t change. Learn to accept that. As Mr. Niebuhr said, “Change the things I can…” Find those areas where you are in control; where others will allow you to change; and focus on those. Learn to accept that. This is part and parcel of sharing your life with others. You don’t have complete control. That is part of the joy and wonder of having these people in your life.

5. Finding the Joy in Change
The secret for successful change is the joy of your change. Find the joy in your activity and you will keep at it. If you hate jogging, you won’t sustain your running program. If your heart sings in the shower afterward, focus on the shower. You will keep your running program to sing in the shower. Honest. You are golden when you have integrated the change into your life. You have found an activity you love doing or you have found something to love in the activity.

Humans like variety. So now that you are singing in the shower, how do you keep that joy alive? You nurture it. Find a way to vary it. Be one with your activity so that you enjoy it fully. This reinforces the joy you do get. Try a new perspective, a new angle. Find new people to share the activity or the joy. Be grateful. This is all an art form. A book or technique on sustaining joy has not yet been invented.

6. Celebrate and Celebrate Often
Celebrate all the victories – big and small. Discouragement is the acid that erodes change. We think we should be further along. Celebrate all your progress. Staying the course, not giving up, is a reason to celebrate. Celebrate how far you’ve come. Tell the world – Tweet about it, post it on Facebook. If you have promised yourself a treat for hitting a milestone, be sure to give yourself the treat. If you promised yourself a massage after losing ten pounds, give yourself the massage. If you don’t you’re betraying yourself, which will cause motivation problems down the road of your life.

Remember, you are a human being. That means that you will sometimes fail. You’ll eat cake instead of salad, you won’t run, you just can’t face the change today. Be prepared for it. Expect it. Those who don’t fail don’t attempt to do things. Rejoice in your failure – it means you are trying. Learn from it so you’ll do better the next time. Celebrate the failures too. It is all good.

7. Keeping It Up
Big change or little change, permanent or temporary, change has value. You learn from it. You get joy or satisfaction. All good. To keep the change around, you have to incorporate it into your life. It has to become a habit, part of your routine. If you can tie it to an existing habit, that is even better. To add walking into my life, I tied it to getting the mail after work. Everyday, I park my car and walk down to the mailboxes to get the mail. I tweaked that routine by parking the car, changing into shorts and walking shoes, walking three miles on the long way to the mailbox.

You CAN do this. Change is what makes life such an adventure. Enjoy the journey. Not all seven of the steps are easy. But they are all do-able. Get out there and do them.

This Week’s Coaching
Work on the step above that is hardest for you in the change you are trying to make. Map out your plan. Then, take the first step. Celebrate that step. Take the next one. Yeah! You’re going strong now.

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

HAS IT BEEN A LONG TIME?

Has it been a long time since you were paid for the work you do? More than six months? Over a year? 

Sadly, this is possible. Job search is very competitive right now. By some estimates, there are up to 10 people for every job opening. That makes it a numbers game. The more you get out there and apply, the sooner you’ll get a job. How do you keep positive so you can do that? How do get yourself UP for the game of job search in the face of all that competition and rejection? It happens to the best of us. You are not alone. You have hit a patch of rapids in the river of life. How do you see past the rapids and keep a positive outlook? 

YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB 
 Long-term unemployment does more than put a gap in your résumé. It also affects how you look at yourself. Your self-esteem takes a hit. You are not your job. Your value as a human being is not tied to your paycheck or your job title. If it were, Bernie Madoff would be someone to look up to, not the scoundrel he is. 

JOB CLUB  
One way is to find a local job club. This is an organization that will help you find a job. Buddy up with someone in your field. Help each other find a job. Remember, the more leads you generate for your buddy, the more you generate for you. Practice your interview skills on each other. Cheer your buddy up when they get down. Hold each other accountable to a job search plan. If each of you is to contact say, ten employers a week, make sure you each do that. Remember, it is a numbers game. The higher your numbers (of contacts, applications, employers visited, etc.) the better your chances.

If your area doesn’t have a job club, start one. This would be a sterling example of your leadership skills in action. And, it will look great on your résumé! 

JUST A MOMENT IN TIME 

Your career will run for a long time. It will be counted in decades. So sooner or later, a setback will happen in your career. It’s to be expected. Hey, “Life happens!” (as the bumper sticker says). Cycles have up's and down's and this is just a down. The good news is it will all be up from here. Remind yourself that a job will be there, and is waiting for you, right around the bend in the river. 

REVISIT YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS 
When was the last time you really looked at your résumé? Moreover, when you do, does it seem like your accomplishments were achieved by someone else? Your career is like a bicycle; you never forget how to ride it. Spend some quality time with your résumé. Remember the projects you worked on and the people you worked with to obtain these results. Remind yourself that these are your accomplishments, which should make you justifiably proud. Just because it has been a while, doesn't mean it didn't happen then and won’t happen again. 

VISUALIZE WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN 
You may not know when or where your next job is, but you can get ready. Visualize it in all the detail you can muster. What do you want next? Where exactly, do you want to work? What location? What type of people? How much salary? What are the duties? Responsibilities? What size of company? Do you want to work alone or with a team? When you can see what you want, clearly and powerfully, you can get it. Keep refining this vision. Begin trying to match up your vision with companies. You’ll find it. 

I find that when people are out of work for a while, they can't see themselves in their jobs anymore. The amount of time that has passed only matters to you. Visualize what you want so you can get back to work again quickly. Visualize submitting a great application. Visualize a great interview. Visualize the negotiations and getting the salary you want. Visualize the first day of work and all its glorious awkwardness. 

BIG MO 
Not surprisingly, most people don't take rejection well and they get discouraged. When they first lost their jobs, they had vigor and excitement. They got up everyday and had people to call and job search related activities to work on. Over time, the momentum and activities diminished. You only need one job and one person to give it to you. So get your momentum going again. The work you put in now will bring results; you just haven't seen them yet. As you well know, job search is not an instant gratification pursuit. It is a process that brings results over time. It has its own timetable and it isn’t yours. 

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF 
Most of the time, we are our own worst enemy. We talk ourselves down and defeat ourselves before the battle even begins. This approach may keep you safe from rejection and failure, but it also holds you back. This economy may be forcing you to get out of your comfort zone and into new territory. The economy hasn’t been in this place for most of our lifetimes (parents or grandparents, yes. Us, not so much). This recession requires new approaches. Nothing comfortable here and you'll be blazing new personal trails. All this is great for your personal growth. (Even though it does not feel so great most of the time.) 

This is your challenge. Will you rise to the occasion or let it get the best of you? You already have a track record of achieving great things. This will be one more to add to your list. This is just one patch of rapids in the river of your life. You will get past this. You will survive and thrive. Just hunker down, get out of your comfort zone and keep on, keeping on. 

So, what do you say? It is your life, grab it and get your momentum going again. You can do this. 

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. 

All things are possible, 

Elisabeth 

Elisabeth Adler-Lund 
Executive and Life Coaching 
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

Who You Are, Not Just What You Do So who ARE you? Secure, lifetime jobs are a thing of the past for many workers. The economy changes quickly, companies change products often, and the world market changes. People used to look at jobs as lifetime commitments in which they identified closely with their particular job or company. For many, this way of looking at themselves is no longer useful. A change in the way people view themselves is necessary. Rather than saying "I’m an auto worker for General Motors," the new worker will learn to say, I’m a person with skills which can be used building cars for General Motors, building computers for IBM, working in a small machine shop, or a plastics manufacturer." This way of looking at yourself is called branding. It is way to think of yourself and to project yourself as different from other workers. It is a way to highlight your unique skills and abilities so that managers or employers can see exactly how you will fit into the job or fill a need they have. This will ultimately help you find a new job or get the promotion you want.

Looking At Yourself In A New Way You start by identifying exactly who you are and where you want to go. Let’s start with these questions:

• What are your values?
• What do you want in your next job?
• What do you NOT want in your next job?
• What do you want to think about 8–10 hours a day?
• What gets you excited about work?
• What type of working conditions do you want? (inside, outside, at a desk, in the field, …)
• What is your personality and preferred work-style?
• And so forth.

These questions and the answers they bring forth will help you identify who you are and what you want in a job. For example, for a person who values generosity, has an outgoing personality, likes to occasionally work alone and loves to work with people. They want to be able to have influence on which projects they take on, they get excited by innovation and don’t have a preference about the work environment. This combination would make a great reporter of technology, science or medicine. The budding journalist may have to spend some time writing obituaries or advertising, until they have paid their dues. But, they will know their goal.

The same combination of attributes would make a person who worked on a computer processing loan applications miserable. That person would value stability, dislike change and find comfort in the unchanging environment.

Let’s go back to the budding journalist. What can they do to maximize their ability to get the reporter job? What have they done in the past that uses the skills and abilities required of a reporter? Do they have writing samples? Have they managed projects? You get the idea.

It is separating out what you do, from who you are. It is about identity.

Often times our job and the job title morph into our identity. Then when we lose the job, we lose our identity. Sometimes we lose the job due to a personal or professional failure. Many successful people say they are more defined by their failures, than by their successes. Thomas Edison failed over a thousand times before he succeeded with the light bulb. Failure is an essential component of building character and gaining knowledge. How we handle failure and adversity becomes part of who we are.

If we identify too closely with the job title, we are empty when we lose the job. "If you are what you do, when you don’t, you aren’t." When I heard Wayne Dyer say that, I laughed in recognition. I had lost my job after eleven and a half years. I had worked over sixty hours a week. I had no "spare" time for friends. My life had been my job – period. It was devastating when it was gone. I no longer "did." With apologies to Descartes, "I laugh, therefor I am." That’s when I realized I needed a new way of looking at myself and how I presented myself to others.

Recently, this new way of looking at myself has become known as branding. It is a job in itself to define yourself in this way. It requires introspection and persistence and honesty. Not everyone is up to the task. The reward is being able to say confidently, who you are and what you offer to the world. I now think of myself as a unique bundle of skills, abilities, experience and knowledge. When people ask me what I do, I no longer reply with a job title. I now reply with a clear and balanced identity. Losing my job was a blessing. It gave me time to define myself and identify what is important in my life.

A brand is built upon what is valued by a person or a company. If the values are clearly identified, it is easier to stay true to the values. The identity will build to a larger vision, and the brand can be carried forward, regardless of apparent obstacles. It will become your foundation. A strong foundation can withstand a hurricane of change and upheaval.

Your particular brand will flow from this foundation. What you do and the results you produce becomes your brand. Your success, will come from your ability to be authentic in times of change.

So who ARE you?

Contact me now to begin the journey of discovery and adventure as we get you to where you want to be.

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com