HOW’S YOUR MOJO?

One of my favorite rock bands, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, recently released a new album. MOJO. Back in June, I saw them in Oakland (5 June – the start of their tour). Ironically, Tom lost his mojo with the crowd when he launched into the new MOJO music set. This isn’t a concert review. I bring this up, because I have lost my mojo recently. As I listened to the Mojo album, it reminded me of the concert.

Tom Petty has a professional team to assist in planning the concerts. Moreover, Tom is a seasoned professional, who knows how to put on a great show. If seasoned professional can lose his mojo, anyone can. Today is about how life can get in your way and you lose your mojo.

Mojo – Defined
For those unfamiliar with the term mojo, it has several meanings. The ones I am using are “to have or to use one’s momentum.” And “one’s personal energy or charisma.” Mojo originally comes from hoodoo (different from voodoo) and it is the staple amulet of African-American hoodoo practice, a red flannel bag containing one or more magical items. The word is most likely related to the West African word "mojuba," meaning a prayer of praise and homage. It is a "prayer in a bag" - a spell you can carry. From the Urban dictionary I found it can also be a description of personal charisma or energy; "luck" (or more commonly "bad mojo" as in "bad luck"); sex appeal or talent.

When someone says, “They are on a roll!” You know “they” have mojo. There are other meanings for Mojo. Mother Jones has an iPhone app called MoJo. Marshall Goldsmith has a book, MOJO, How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It back If You Lose It. For him, Mojo is the moment when we do something that's purposeful, powerful, and positive and the rest of the world recognizes it. I think we all understand “mojo” and what it means, it just maybe hard for us to describe.

Right now, I have no momentum. My personal energy is a minus five on a ten-scale. Charisma? Puh-leeze! Zip. Zero. Nada.

It Is All About the Learning
I have a problem of beating myself up when things don’t go as planned or as envisioned. It is something I am working on. (See previous post) The new album was a gift in two ways for me. One, new TP&THB music. Yeah! Two, it stopped the self-abuse I was heaping on myself for the troubles I was going through. I remembered the loss of momentum during the concert. Tom did get it back. He recognized its loss. From the stage Tom said, “Ok, that’s enough new stuff. Let’s get back to what you came to hear.”

The important take away for me is: If professional concert planners can plan and organize everything, and still lose momentum during a concert; why am I beating myself up for losing momentum in the much bigger arena of life? A concert is scripted in many ways. Life? Not so much.

It isn’t the mistakes you make; it’s when you don’t learn from your mistakes, that you fail. So what have I learned?

1.) Acknowledge the loss of momentum out loud. With an artist like Tom, even though he had good NEW music to play, he recognized that on this night, the crowd wanted the old favorites and to sing along. He really seemed taken aback when the crowd went silent as he played the new music. He acknowledged that and reassured the crowd what was next. For me, it was acknowledging out loud, that things are not going well to my partner in accountability. Saying it out loud to someone was surprisingly difficult.

2.) Have a plan in the first place. Tom actually played his set as it had been planned (I’ve seen the set list). When the plan didn’t go over well, he made a mental note. I know this because I saw the look he gave other members of the Heartbreakers. For me, my plan now needs to be ditched and reworked. This is hard. I had much invested in the old plan.

3.) I am trying to mine my old plan for its flaws, wrong judgments and errors. It is difficult to do that with something you have invested a lot of yourself. You become blind to its reality. Thus, I have turned to a neutral third party. This has been very helpful. Sometimes she is just a sounding board and as I talk/explain, it becomes obvious (to both of us) what is a better solution.

Getting My Mojo Back – Part 1
Getting your (my) mojo back is a multistep process. First, you have to define what is right for you. You do that by knowing who you are. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” And, “How do I see myself?” A part of that is defining what your values are and what values you will never compromise. For long-time readers: how is your values list coming along? A little coaching help here is start each sentence with, “I am …” This is not about how others (spouse, co-workers, family, friends, etc.) see you. It is all about how you see yourself. Mojo is a very personal thing. If you can’t define yourself, you can’t define and then find your mojo.

Defining yourself can be tricky. “I want to be the person who …” often gets in the way of “I am the person who is/does …” Really search your life events for clues about who you really are. If you don’t have many life events maybe you are “risk averse” or “afraid of the unknown.” Be careful not to judge yourself on your intentions, instead of your actions.

Part of my challenge is that I became my plan. I didn’t set boundaries as to what is me and what was my plan. Thus, when my plan failed, I failed. It is hard to get up out of the muck of failure. It keeps sucking me down, like when you lose your shoe in mud. Your foot comes out, but the shoe stays stuck in the mud. You are not your plans. You are not your failed plans. Repeat after me: “I am not my plans. I am not my failed plan.” (I feel a little better, how about you?)

Now that you know who you are, go forth and find out what your character is among your co-workers, family and friends. This is where others tell you what they see as your actions. You know the old saying, “actions speak louder than words.” What have your actions said to people? How do they define you?

Speaking of actions, what are your recent accomplishments? What has gotten you accolades at work? At home? As you think about your accomplishments, don’t confuse difficulty with accomplishment. I have a tendency to dismiss my accomplishments with, “Everybody can see/do that.” So I don’t always tell people what I see or what I do. I don’t see it as something special. After all, why state the obvious?

Just because something is easy for you, doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable. It might be easy for you to write a memo about a process improvement that is obvious to you. It might be the most valuable thing you do this year. As you compile your accomplishments think also about the impact your accomplishment has made.

Now think about what you can and cannot change. That is acceptance of “what is,” also known as reality. “The Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr begins, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” Assess your reality, take a deep breathe, maybe a little sigh of regret, and accept it. It is, what it is. No matter how pretty your rose-colored glasses, it is, what it is. This may be one of your greatest challenges. I know it is mine.

On the surface, it should be easy. But if you ask, “why me?” or “it isn’t fair.” You are just resisting reality. You are not accepting something. Fairness has nothing to do with it. My plans went awry. I must accept that. If I don’t, I’ll become bitter about what might have been. In some circles that is also known as baggage. I have enough baggage, thank you. I don’t need more.

This is just plain, old disappointment. Yes, I am too smart (and I’m sure you are too) to plan stupidly. But hey, it happens. Now is when I must use my “courage to change the things I can.” What can I change? Me! And my plans. Ahhh, “wisdom to know the difference.”

I am not going to let a single setback ruin my life. Are you letting a setback disrupt your life? Are you playing the ‘blame-game’ of who really is at fault? That is not productive. Change what you can. Figure out what went wrong, and get on with it already. You cannot change the past. Learn the lesson and let it go.

Getting My Mojo Back – Part 2
I find as I talk to people, that our perception of things affects us more than the reality of things. Another way of saying that is: Attitude is Everything. My perception is that I have lost my mojo. “Peter” came up to me the other day and said he admired what he called my momentum. He is not “in the loop” of my failed plans. He said I was doing great and keep up the great work. Huh? I thought “failure” was written in red and all caps on my forehead. Maybe my mojo is just on pause.

What throws me off track may not faze you at all. What is a chore to me (e.g., exercising) may be a joy for you. My joy of gardening may be your chore. Norman Vincent Peele said, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” That is why learning the lesson from your setback and then trying again, with this new information to guide you, is success. Yes, success is a journey, not a destination.

I am changing my attitude. I am in the midst of a recovery process. This not just semantics. By modifying my attitude and focusing on the recovery (not the setback), it is much easier to think about ways to do it better next time. I am able to let go of the pain. I am able to let go, and not be bitter. I have mapped out the pitfalls. I am changing what I can – me. I am getting prepared. I am learning to accept. How about you?

This Week’s Coaching:
Everything begins with learning you are. So. Who are you? Write it down. What do others think of you? Write that down. How do the lists compare? Are there any contradictions that concern you?

What have you done lately? Think about the ease, or not, for you of the accomplishment and the impact of your accomplishment on work or at home.

What do you need to accept? It is, what it is. How are you going to deal with reality? Write down your plan. Make it so.

Let me know how your life’s journey is going for you. I'm curious, what helps you? What are your challenges? Send me an email, or enter a comment below and let me know how this exercise works for you. I’d love to know. Thanks!

All things are possible,
Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund
Executive and Life Coaching
Telephone: 916 • 803•1494
E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

Who Are You?

Values are who we are. Not who we would like to be, not who we think we should be, but who we are in our lives, right now. Another way to put it is that values represent our unique and individual essence, our ultimate and most fulfilling form of expressing and relating to others. Our values serve as a compass, pointing out what it means to be true to oneself. When we honor our values on a regular and consistent basis, life is good and fulfilling. Isn’t that what we all want?

Today is all about who you are and what is important to you.

As a coach, I know that when people contact me, they want a better life. It could for career coaching to get a better job. Or, coaching to cope with a project. Or, to help them figure out why they are not succeeding as well as they want. Or, to improve their leadership skills in today’s new work realities.

All those reasons for coaching are really all about improving their lives. These are just different aspects of improving one’s life. When you are clear about what your values are, it is easier to make decisions in your life. Knowing your own values makes it easier to know when your life has gotten out of whack and how to get back on track. Values are the why and how of the way you live your life.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

(Apology 38a) Socrates.

In today’s living, we are often so busy achieving, doing, searching, accomplishing and getting somewhere (literally and figuratively) that we fail to take the time to examine our lives and see what makes us “tick”. Then, something happens or someone asks us to do something. We don’t like it. However, we can’t really say why it is wrong for us. Others seem to have no problems do it. So, we sweep that unease under the rug of our lives and go on. We do that enough times and we will be miserable, without understanding why. Today we will begin to get to why.

Your life will be more fulfilling when your decisions are viewed through a matrix of well-understood personal values. However, the process of clarifying values is often difficult. This is because we go to our heads to intellectualize and fantasize. Today I want you to look into your life and uncover the values that are already there, in your day-to-day actions and interactions with others.

Do not Google “values list” to get a comprehensive list so that you can be definitive in your answers. That is not the point of today’s exercise. That will not work, because the list becomes an opportunity of voting on which ones are the most desirable or currently in vogue. It reinforces the intellectual urge to figure it out and get the words right. There is no right or wrong on your list. Your values are observable as you live your life. So picking from a list won’t help you. You live in the “real” world. Go there for your list of values.

Grab A Pencil AND Eraser

In a minute, I want you to write down some words on a piece of paper. Just throw down the words. You will be reluctant to do that freely if you have a pen in your hand. Thus, you must choose the correct instrument, a pencil. Pencil can be erased. You don’t have to be perfect. The exact right word is NOT important the first time through this exercise. You will have time to refine things later. No one will see this – until you are ready. Still, experience tells me this exercise works better with a pencil and eraser. The commitment of pencil to paper makes this real. We all seem to be a little commitment-phobic when we are about to make our lives real.

Getting the exact right word will be important at the end. What is more important now is that the approximate label for the value is captured. Values have much more emotional meaning than the definition of a single word allows. Plus, meanings are in people, not in dictionaries. Each individual has his or her own unique meaning for each value. We may have different meanings even though we use the same word.

Use several words together to form a string describing the value. Separating the words with a forward slash makes the string easier to read. Here are some examples:

Integrity/Honesty/Walk-the-talk

Integrity/Whole/Congruent

Fun/sense of humor/playful

After creating the values string, circle the most significant word in your string.

It may take you several months to come up with a fairly complete list of your values. Since values show up over time in our lives, it is unlikely that we will be able to capture them accurately and completely in one or two sittings. Values that are fully defined and elaborated on become a powerful tool in pointing you toward fulfilling choices as you approach a major crossroads or get off track.

Perspectives

I want you to go into your life, not into your head for this exercise.

Relax, get comfortable. Identify special, peak moments when life was especially rewarding or poignant for you. It’s important that the time frame be limited to a “moment.” That will limit the experience to allow you to pinpoint specific values. Ask yourself these questions to uncover what is important to you in one particular moment of time.

• What was happening?
• Who was there and what was happening?
• What are the values being honored in this particular moment?
• What was important right then?
• Distill that experience down to one or two words. What are they?

Repeat this process with several moments in the times of your life. Think about values of achievement or accomplishment; nature and connection; family and individuals; and so forth. When a word resonates or rings true to you, keep elaborating on that value until you have fully captured all the nuances of that value. Keep looking and examining your peak moments that you found to be particularly rich and rewarding. Ask yourself, “What made it rich and rewarding for me?” Remember, all answers are the right answers for you. This is all about you.

A Different Perspective Or Pit Experiences

Another way to isolate your values is to go to the other way. Examine those moments in time that you were in the pit of life’s experiences. When you were angry, frustrated, devastated, upset or in “hell.” This often will help you discover a value that you are suppressing. You flip it over and look at the opposites of those feelings for the value represented. I had a client, “Alicia.” Alicia had a pit experience after her and her team at work successfully finished a project. The team leader had left early in the project and Alicia had stepped into the lead position. During a banquet, kudos were handed out to the team in recognition, but Alicia’s extra contribution was overlooked. She felt angry, frustrated, and upset. After we examined this “pit experience,” the value of acknowledgement appeared. Alicia had suppressed this value because she thought modesty and being a “good girl” were the “correct” values to have. After examining her values, Alicia realized she could be a modest, good girl and receive the acknowledgement she deserved for assuming the team lead role.

If you have felt trapped or cornered, you might have a value around creativity or freedom. The first time through, the vocabulary doesn’t have to be exactly right. It is more important that the word or string of words feel right to you. You can refine your list any time. Think of it as a rough draft right now.

Life, As You Know It

We generally create our lives in a way that demonstrates our values without thinking or knowing exactly what they are. We often live on autopilot. We may not even recognize them until something gets in the way or we need to make a big decision. Then suddenly, we want to know our values. Or, we don’t care until we are in distress – a clear signal a value is being violated or suppressed.

Look also for obsessive behavior. Do you insist on honoring a value and inflate it into a demand rather than a form of self-expression? Remember when your roommate’s value of orderliness became an obsessive demand for perfection? Our friends and families often do us a service by pointing out the obsessive expression of our values: “You are so controlling!” “All you think about is your students.” “You want all the attention.” These statements might point toward a value of personal power/leadership, of learning/growth, and of recognition/acknowledgment. Examine those times when you take certain values to the extreme. “What is it that people say about you? What do you say about yourself?” “What is it that people tease you about or that drives them crazy?” There are important values here that have mutated for some reason. Look for the value, and don’t focus on the mutation.

Beyond the physical requirements of food, shelter, and community, what must you have in your life in order to be fulfilled? Must you have a form of creative self-expression? Must you have adventure and excitement in your life? Must you have partnership and collaboration? Must you be moving toward a sense of accomplishment or success or be surrounded with natural beauty? An underlying

question for the process is What are the values you absolutely must honor—or part of you dies?

This Week’s Coaching

Keep repeating the above exercises over the next few months. Yes, “Months.” Keep refining your list. You haven’t grown your values in a day; you won’t create your list in a day. For some of your big, important values you will have to dig down deep to uncover them. Just like Alicia, you may be suppressing one value because of other values. I encourage you to visit your pit and peak experiences. Both have … value(s).

Keep your list handy. I will be revisiting this subject in a couple of months. Until next week …

Happy self-exploration!

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

DID 2009 GO AS YOU HAD PLANNED?

2009 is almost over. Did it go as you had planned? I know mine didn’t. The economic picture just hasn’t improved as predicted (or hoped for). Self-reliance is still the best way to plan. You know you can depend upon yourself. Finding a new job probably took longer than you had planned. Companies are being more selective than ever. Employers are adding more interviews into their processes. I have heard of as many as ten interviews for one job for the top candidate. This is in addition to the fact that employers probably already know the candidate. Who You Know Now more than ever, it is who you know. For years you have heard, “Networking, networking, and more networking is the way to a job.” More true than ever! Eighty percent of the jobs are not advertised. With the unemployment rate over 12%, you need to find one of the jobs in that 80% pool. So try volunteering where you want to work. Get an internship, paid or not. Internships aren’t just for those out of college. Find ways to make connections. Go to industry, association or other meetings where the folks who do the hiring or do the work you want to do gather. Do informational interviews. No risk, no gain, no job. If you read me regularly, you know I am all about self-evaluations. So do the self evaluations (already) so you know what you are best suited for and pursue the job out of it.

The Final Analysis

There are only eleven more days to 2009. See where you have been. Sit down for a moment with a pen and paper and jot down answers to the following:

• What were your greatest accomplishments in 2009?
• What did you learn from each of these accomplishments?
• What were your biggest failures or disappointments in 2009?
• What did you learn from your failures and disappointments?
• How did you limit yourself in 2009?

Now analyze this information and use your conclusions to amaze yourself in 2010. If the questions seem overwhelming, just do the first three accomplishments/disappointments that pop into your head as you read the questions. 2010 and Your Future Unless you are really jazzed about what you are doing, I encourage you to pursue your dream job. If your job “isn’t so bad” and you feel “ok,” you should be scared. It is this mindset that will let 30 years slip on down the road, and suddenly you feel like you wasted time and opportunity. It isn’t that you wasted time so much as “did time.” Is that the working legacy that you want to leave? How does “doing time” in a job affect your family? Or, do you want days where you leap out of bed in the morning so excited by the prospect of working? At the end of the day do you want to be happy and satisfied about the day’s job or just “ok”? Life is too short to just be "ok." The choice is yours. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly, Elisabeth Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive and Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

“THE JOB-HUNTER'S SURVIVAL GUIDE”

This is the title of a brand new book by Richard N. Bolles, of “What Color is Your Parachute?” fame. He has sold over ten million copies of Parachute and has been in the career search business for over forty years. He wrote this book, as he says, “I felt there was a need for a much shorter, less expensive book to help job-hunters who were hanging on the ropes during this brutal Recession.” … ““If I were job-hunting tomorrow,” I asked myself, “what would be the most important things for me to know?” I wrote the book accordingly.” It is just that, a small book (100 pages) of pure job-hunting gold. He writes as he speaks, so it reads easily and quickly. There are internet links on almost every page for you to get more information or detail on what you need. Here are some highlights from the first half of the book that I would like to pass on to you. THERE ARE ALWAYS JOBS OUT THERE That is also the title of chapter one. Across America, there are approximately 1,250,000 jobs available per month. In April 2009 (when he wrote the book), there were 13,200,000 unemployed and officially looking for work. Now before you give up, realize that there are always about 8 million people who fail to find work in the US even in the best of times. So, there is always competition for jobs. It is just a lot more fierce right now. What you need, are greater job-hunting skills. Mr. Bolles says there are four pillars to greater job-hunting skills.

1. Assume finding work is your job.
2. Be willing to work hard on your job-hunt. This means time and persistence. Lots and lots of time. Days, weeks, months.
3. Do a thorough and detailed inventory on yourself. (more on this later)
4. Learn everything you can about job-hunting in the 21st century. Things are constantly changing, stay current. Do you know the eighteen ways to look for work? Remember, the familiar ways may not work. The ways that worked the last time you were out of a job, may not work this time. “Be ready to observe, to learn, to change your way of doing things. Be ready to reinvent yourself, with a new identity. No longer, ‘I am an auto worker (or whatever), but ‘I am a person who can do …” (you can also read about branding yourself on my blog – click here)

ON KEEPING HOPE ALIVE The secret to keeping hope alive is to have alternatives. Have at least three. If you have only two alternatives, it can cause paralysis, as you don’t know which ONE to choose. Have three and you can easily alternate among them. Research has shown many people give up after one or two months. If you keep alternating between your chosen alternatives, you are more easily able to keep hope alive. This principle of having alternatives works in every situation you may be facing in this economic downturn. Stop and ask yourself, “What are alternative ways for dealing with this challenge?” Then come up with two other ways and use them all. Here are Mr. Bolles eighteen alternative ways of looking for work:

1. Self-Inventory. Before you do anything else, do a thorough self-inventory of the transferrable skills and interests the you enjoy most and do best, so you can define in stunning detail exactly the job(s) you would most like to have, to your family, friends, contacts, network, and employers. And then use this knowledge to focus your search for work.
2. The Internet. Use the Internet to post your résumé, look for job postings or vacancies.
3. Networking. Ask friends, family or people in your community for job leads.
4. School. Ask a former professor or teacher for leads.
5. The Feds. Go to state/federal unemployment services or to One Stop Career Centers (http://www.careeronestop.org/).
6. In Your State. Go to private employment agencies.
7. Civil Service. Take a civil service exam to compete for a government job.
8. Newspapers. Answer local “want ads” (online or in the paper). Sunday editions are usually the most useful.
9. Journals. Professional journals in your profession or field. Answer any ads that intrigue you.
10. Temp Agencies. Go to temp agencies for short-term assignments (work) for companies that need your skills temporarily. This is a good way to get your foot in the door and you build experience for your résumé.
11. Pickups. Go to places where employers pick up workers. These are usually well-known street corners in your town (ask around) or union halls, etc. These are usually manual labor jobs. No job is too humble when you need money.
12. Job Clubs. Join or form a job club where you will receive job leads and weekly emotional support. Excellent directory at Job-Hunt.org (http://tinyurl.com/7a9xbb )
13. Résumés. Mail them out.
14. Choose Places That Interest You. Knock on the door of any employer, factory, store, organization or office that interests you, whether or not they are known to have a vacancy or not.
15. The Phone Book. Use the index in your phone book’s Yellow Pages to identify five to ten subjects, fields or interests that intrigue you in your town or where you want to relocate. Then call and visit the organizations listed under these headings.
16. Volunteering. If you’re okay financially for a spell, volunteer to work (for free) for a short term at a place that interests you, whether or not they have a known vacancy, with the hope that down the line they may want to hire you.
17. Work for Yourself. Start your own small business, trade or service after observing what your community needs, but lacks.
18. Retraining. Go back to school and get retrained for some other type of occupation.

Research has shown the importance of having at least four alternatives is particularly true when looking for work. It’s probably going to be a long haul this time around. Keeping hope and having alternatives will help you conquer any challenge, with time. You can and will do this. Your unemployment may last twenty-one weeks or more. Make frugality your friend. (http://www.alwaysfrugal.com/) And Buyer Beware. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Checkout http://www.ripoffreport.com/, to look up any company that has a get-hired-quick scheme. Especially if they want you to send them money. Be sure and sign up for unemployment insurance. DO NOT hire someone to do this for you. It is a simple online form or a phone call. Just know your salary per hour and have your last paystub handy. Mr. Bolles' other resources include food stamps, health insurance, financial counseling and maybe moving back in with the parents. Let’s not forget getting a stop-gap job. This is also known as a bread-and-butter job. Something you may detest (that’s actually a good thing, you won’t linger in it too long) but, it will pay the bills short term. Next week I’ll reveal the Five Best ways and Five Worst Ways to search for a job. Or, go out and buy the book for yourself. It is worth every penny! “The Job-Hunter’s Survival Guide: How to Find a Rewarding Job Even When "There Are No Jobs"”

by Richard N. Bolles $9.99 ISBN: 978-1-58008-026-2 For Borders books or For Amazon.com If you want help to sort through your skills, experiences and your dreams to get your dream job. Don’t wait, contact me now. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly, Elisabeth Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive And Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

Are You a Match?

You and your office, is this a match made in heaven? If you’ve been working for a while, you know how a good sounding job may not be the day-to-day reality. If you know that, I’ll even bet that is now a ‘prior’ job. The office and corporate culture are a large part of any job. Finding a job that matches your skill set is one thing. Finding a job that matches your personality and working style is another. One size does not fit all, when it comes to finding the right corporate culture. Lasting success and job satisfaction come when the right job and the right culture all come together. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER What is your work style? What type of work environment suits you best? Only you know what will work for you. So be truthful in your self-assessment. Remember, what would be a cool workplace, may not be the best place for you to work. Where will you produce your best work? That is where your long-term job satisfaction will come from. Here are some questions to get you started:

• Do I prefer working alone or with a team?
• Do I want to build a career? Or, is it “just” a job?
• Do I want to work inside or outside or a combination of both?
• How many hours do I want to work in a day?
• Do I want to supervise others, or not so much?
• Finish this: “My ideal boss is …”
• What kind of pressure can I handle regularly?
• Am I willing to relocate?
• How much travel can I handle in my job?
• How much responsibility do I want?
• Am I willing to go back to school for more training?

When you do your research on prospective companies, determine as best you can, if their corporate culture is a good match for your working style. When you find a corporate culture that is a good fit for you, it leads to more than just job happiness. When you feel rewarded and your work acknowledged, you will work harder and move up the ladder more quickly. As you do well, you’ll get better and more challenging assignments, which in turn, will lead to greater job security. Even better, you’ll be paid more because you are more productive. So if everything else but the starting salary is good, take the job. CAVEAT EMPTOR Keep your eyes and ears open when you go for job interviews. Think of it as buying the job, so kick the tires a little. Do people look miserable in the office? Or, are they reasonably happy and content looking? Do they talk respectfully to each other? Is there some joking or is everyone somber? How do the cars in the parking lot look? The expected mix, or old and worn? Ask the receptionist why this is a good place to work. Ask the interviewer about the corporate culture. Ask what it takes to be successful at this company. If you’re a parent, how flexible are they for sick kids? Are you able to telecommute on those days? Observe the body language of the employees – relaxed, urgent, stressed, purposeful, or do they run with scissors? Check out their diversity figures to see if they really value it. Imagine yourself working there; what is that like? I had a client who interviewed at two large (nationally known) computer companies. His son’s T-ball games were very important to him. He asked during both interviews if leaving at 5:00 pm once a week to be able to make it to the games would be an issue. Both hiring managers said “no issues.” He went with Company A, because it was a better starting salary. The first week on Thursday at 5:00 pm as he was closing his office door, his manager looked at his watch and said, “You’re leaving?” He reminded the manager about the T-ball games. The manager said, “Ok” in a clearly disapproving tone. On Friday, the manager called him in to talk about “commitment.” My client called me, distraught over the reaction of his manager. Then he said that by Thursday at 5:00 pm he had already put in 40 hours and submitted his first project early. I advised him to see if there was still an opening at Company B. There was. He took that job (and the lower starting salary). The next Thursday, at 4:30 pm his new manger dropped by his office to see how his first week was going and … to remind him he had “to leave on time tonight” so he would be on time for the T-ball game. He’d noticed that he was putting in extra time. Wow! What a difference in corporate culture. It gets better. My client kept in touch with an employee of Company A. That division was severely cut back a year later and his old job was cut. So not only is he still employed, he is happily employed. Let that be you too. Do you need help finding the right job for you? I can help you. We will sort through your skills, experiences and your dreams to get the right job for you. Don’t wait, contact me now. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly, Elisabeth Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive And Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

Are You a Good Listener?

How good are your listening skills? Sit back and evaluate how well you are listening. If you are brave, ask the people around you how well you listen. Your perception of how well you hear what someone is saying, and their perception of how well you heard them, may not be the same. In listening, their perception counts more. The greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of time. If the person you are talking to feels you have truly heard and understood what they have to say, you have given them a gift. That gift will be precious to them. If you are talking with a loved one, you have validated their relationship with you. If you are talking to your boss, your listening skills will tell them if they want to promote you, or not. Poor listening skills set the standard in most offices. This unfortunate condition generates miscommunication, misunderstanding, and unnecessary repetition. Luckily, good listening skills are easy to gain. Pop quiz: What are you doing when you are in a conversation? Are you listening to what the person is saying, or are you formulating a response? Are you breathing, or, are you holding your breath? Here are some strategies for good listening. Pay attention, there will be a test.

1. Be silent. Let people finish their sentences, then pause before you answer. The break forces you to consider what was just said, and the person will appreciate your thoughtful response.
2. Be still. Be in a position to listen. In the office, hold calls, step aside with the person or close the door, and face the person. Pay attention. Do not scan e-mail, open envelopes, shuffle paper, or file. At home, don’t do the dishes, dust or sort clothes for the laundry. If this is not a good time to listen, reschedule for a time you are able to listen.
3. Be careful to not interrupt. Do not talk over people or cut off their message so yours can dominate. Use the 80-20 rule. Listen 80% of the time and talk 20% of the time. And I mean that as a 20% maximum. Less talk is more listening. You have two ears, but only one mouth.
4. Guard against dismissing or diminishing what people are telling you. If you even think about rolling your eyes, close them and gain control before opening them. Eye-rolling is a demonstration of a lack of respect. Don’t slip into the phrases “here it comes again” or “we’ve already tried that”. Respect their opinions. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but they have as much right to their opinion as you do to yours. Besides, it might just work this time.
5. Listen to what is being said, and to what is not said, but clearly communicated. This often is the situation during conflict. A great technique to use is to say, “I just heard you say … ,” and then re-state what you heard back to the person. This demonstrates you were actively listening to what they said and have genuine concern for clear communication. A variation of this technique is to say, “I heard you say … , but I feel you meant … .” If the person is angry, be calm and acknowledge the feeling before the content: “I understand you are upset, let’s find a solution.” Then ask for the details of what is upsetting to them. Use their language (without the profanity) when possible: “What did he do that makes you feel ‘his attitude sucks’?”
6. Diversity is a wonderful thing. So actively listen and learn the conversation styles and meanings of those around you. Even within the borders of California, English words mean different things in different parts of the state. If you treat everyone as coming from a foreign country using English as a second language, you will reduce the number of miscommunications due to improper assumptions about what they are trying to say. Remember, meanings are in people, not in the words. [F.Y.I.-this is an especially helpful technique to use with your partner. Even if you were both born and raised on the same street, in the same city, you will have come from different cultures. An example: one family will “save” saying “I love you” for special occasions and for the other family this is a daily greeting. The partner A will feel that partner B doesn’t feel it because B ‘never’ says it; and partner B will feel partner A is diluting the meaning because A says it everyday. Viva la differance!]
7. Surround yourself with people who will keep you honest and open and force you to listen to what you need to hear. That is how you grow and expand your knowledge, mind and horizons.

Remember, practice makes perfect. So practice active listening in all arenas of your life and watch the quality of your relationships improve. The Test [as promised] 1. Rolling one’s eyes as a response in conversation is: a) A lively conversational technique b) Only done by erudite people (look it up, expand your vocabulary) c) Something to avoid as it is rude and alienating 2. In listening, whose perception of good listening counts more? a) The voyeur’s. That is the only objective person here. b) The listener’s, obviously c) The talker’s perception, that is the person trying to be understood 3. The greatest gift you can give someone is: a) Gold, it is always the best investment b) Stocks, because they can only go up c) Time, because it can’t be stored 4. Poor listening skills set the standard in most offices. This leads to: a) Gossip, rumour, and scandal b) Silence, peace, and tranquillity c) Miscommunication, misunderstanding, and unnecessary repetition 5. Formulating a response while someone is talking is: a) A quick way to keep the conversation moving b) A good way to get my point across, after all, I’m always right (am too!) c) Bad listening technique because you’re not paying attention to what the person is saying, so you only hear part of what is said 6. Interrupting people during a conversation, tells them what about you? a) That I am eagerly participating in the conversation b) That I am goal oriented and will reach my quota of 80% talking time c) That I don’t really care about their opinion 7. One of the best compliments you can give is to say someone is a good listener. a) False. People go to Ireland just to kiss the Blarney Stone and become good Talkers! b) False. Listener, shmistner! Listening is over-rated, besides, being quiet is hard c) True. The irony is, everyone will listen to what a Listener has to say (The correct answers to all questions is “C”.)

Be silent, pay attention, be calm, don’t interrupt, respect others’ opinions, repeat for clarity, be alert to diversity, and you will become known for being a good listener.

Are you one of the millions of people who hate to go to work in the morning? Or on Sunday, you dread Mondays? What I do is help you indentify your transferrable skills, your values and combine that with your interests, passions and experiences. It is a process of learning all about who you are, what you want to contribute and how to do that. Then we come up with your personalized career path to your dream job. Call me now to make your dreams a reality.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

Warmly, Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive And Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

What Does Your Résumé Say About You?

Does your résumé show you off to best advantage? You need to have a variety of résumés available in your toolbox. (See last week’s article for the three types of résumés.) You have to submit the "perfect" résumé to get the job. But what is perfect? Perfection is like beauty, in the eye of the beholder. What is perfect for one hiring manager, is not another’s style. That is why you need to be ready with a variety. By the end of this article, you’ll be able to answer these questions confidently.

• What should you include?
• What shouldn’t you include?
• What must you always include?
• What type should it be?
• What color should you buy of kid-finish cotton fiber stationary (with a watermark)?

What is the point of a résumé? This is YOU in your absence. This is a representation of you and who you are and what you can do for the hiring manager. It is one of your best marketing tools. The point is to pique the hiring manager’s interest, to have them want to meet you. The function of a résumé is to get your foot in the door and get you an interview. Keep this point in mind as we answer the following questions. What should you include? You want to include all relevant information for the job you are applying for. Don’t tell your entire work history. You want to go back about ten years. Only list your best skills and accomplishments that are relevant to the job you are applying for, right now. You want to pique interest, not bore with too much information that is not pertinent to the job opening. Remember, human resources or the hiring manager will only have about 30 to 60 seconds with your résumé before they move on to the next one. You have to grab them quickly. So include the duties, responsibilities, skills and education that pertain to the job for which are you are applying. Remember to include awards you may have received. What shouldn’t you include? You leave out accomplishments and responsibilities that are important to you, but not to your next employer. It may hurt to not be able to include these things. It is ok to grieve the loss. But think of all the things you don’t use on the job anymore. Employers only really care about how you will benefit them. Can you do the job they want or need done and get along with existing staff? So draw them a picture of the many ways you are the answer they are looking for! What must you always include? You always include you name, address, e-mail address and telephone number. Don’t laugh. I’ve seen résumés that don’t have (some or all of) this information. Always put your name and telephone number on every page of your résumé. You always want to include your accomplishments in a PAR type format. State the Problem. State the Action you (or the team you belonged to) took to resolve the problem. State the Result in quantifiable terms. (Example: Instituted a Customer Log of customer service issues. Was able to see repeat problems and came up with "best practices" for most events and to quickly return mechanical problems to the manufacturer. This resulted in a 25% reduction in repair service time and $50,000 savings from the manufacturer.) If your job is not "quantifiable" then tell a passionate story. For example, a social worker can tell you how they helped turn someone’s life around. What was their issue, what tools did you teach or show them and how did this turn their life around? Go for the heart. You always want to include the words and phrases found on the company’s website and in the want ad. You may emphasize team-work to one company, and collaboration with another. If you don’t change your résumé with these word changes, you risk being overlooked by the scanner. Using their words also shows that you "get" them. What color should you buy of kid-finish cotton fiber stationary (with a watermark)? Yes, this is only a semi-serious question. You will probably be completing online applications and attaching your résumé and cover letter. No paper involved. However, when you go in for the interview, it is always good to have a couple copies of your résumé with you. Go for white, ivory, or gray in a 25 pound weight. These colors photocopy the best. They also look professional. The slightly heavier weight than copy paper, makes them feel substantial. The watermark is old school and necessary. It is from a time when paper was king. By ensuring your paper has one, you show you know the formal details. And that will speak volumes about you. The main point of course, is attention to detail. You also want to keep your résumé down to two pages. Brief is good. In the 30 – 60 seconds they have to look over your résumé, more than two pages won’t even get looked at. If you are close to two pages, try using Ariel Narrow font at 12 point. It is compact and still very easy to read. Never go smaller than 11 point. Start your computer, get set and start writing! If you aren’t getting any calls for an interview, it may be that your résumé is not selling you to the hiring manager. Need help? Call me and we can put together a relevant résumé for you that will get you into an interview. I can help you sort through your skills, experiences and your dreams to get the right job for you. I can assist you in creating a skills inventory, creating a polished Brand You Sound-bite, and getting you on the path to your dream job. Don’t wait, contact me now. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly, Elisabeth Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive And Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com

Sophisticated Job Hunting

A recession rewards those who are sophisticated at job hunting and limits those whose skills are undeveloped. I will support you in developing those skills. If you limit yourself to only one job-hunting method, you'll likely stay out of work. Go for at least two and preferably three of the most effective. I can help you determine which are best for you and your situation. We can polish your job hunting skills to maximize your efforts and assist you in getting your dream job. Remember too, looking for work is a job in itself. So spend six hours a day on your job hunt. The more effort you put into it, the more productive (and effective) you'll be. The Five Worst: 1. Search only online. It doesn't work for most of those who try it. Of every 100 job hunters who use the Internet as their only search method, only four will find a job. The exception: Jobs in engineering, finance and health care or technical, computer-related jobs. 2. Mail résumés at random. There are millions of résumés floating around, like lost ships on the sea. No one's bothered to count how many resulted in a job. 3. Look only in professional/trade journals. For every 100 job hunters who use only this search method, seven will find a job; 93 will not. 4. Answer newspaper ads. Success varies by salary level; the higher the salary you're seeking, the lower the success rate finding it through a newspaper ad. 5. Use employment agencies or search firms. The success rate has risen slightly in recent years – for women but not men. One study found 27.8 percent of females found a job within two months through private employment agencies. The Five Best Use three to four of these methods. Any more and you may spread yourself too thin. As you gain mastery, add another method to your tool box of job hunt skills. That way you will build your skills and not have to learn everything at one time. 1. Ask for job leads. Talk to family members and friends or visit career centers at schools where you graduated. Ask one question: Do you know of any jobs where you work or elsewhere? 2. Knock on doors. Go in person to employers that interest you, whether there's a vacancy or not. By going face-to-face, you have a seven-fold better chance of finding a job than if you only sent out résumés. 3. Use the phone book. Make targeted phone calls or visits to employers in fields you're interested in, asking if they're hiring. 4. Create a "job club." Join together with other job seekers and follow the above. 5. Do a self-assessment. Identify the skills that you most enjoy using. Decide the job environment where you would thrive and do your most effective work. Find the job titles you're interested in, the companies that offer such jobs, and the people who have power to hire you. How can your skills help solve their problems? Source: Richard N. Bolles, "What Color is Your Parachute?" from Ten Speed Press Job seekers, don't give up. Richard Bolles is on your side. His life's work has been about how to find a job. And not just any job, but the career of your dreams. He is the renowned career-hunt specialist, speaker and author of the best-selling book "What Color Is Your Parachute? (Job-Hunting in Hard Times)." With 10 million "Parachute" books in 20 languages across 26 countries, he's now busily scouring the Web for new ways and new technologies to make hunting for work more fruitful. He's also putting out another book – his 38th on the topic, "The Job-Hunters Survival Guide" – that's due out at the end of this month (March 2009). I highly recommend his books. They are packed with helpful information. If you can’t afford to buy them, check them out of your local library. Do the exercises and follow the advice. It is gold. If all of this sounds too overwhelming, call me and I'll help you through the processes. I can breakdown the steps for you into manageable chunks. We can set intermediate goals that will build upon each other to maximize your success rate. Together, we can craft a sophisticated package of job search tools that will get you on the path to your dream job. —  — This is a great time to contact me to get an action plan together to get your Dream Job. I can help you sort through your skills and your dreams to get the right job for you. I can assist you in creating a skills inventory, crafting a polished Brand You Sound-bite, getting you on the path to your dream job. Contact me now. A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream. Warmly, Elisabeth Elisabeth Adler-Lund Executive And Life Coaching Telephone: 916 • 803•1494 E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com