WHAT DOES YOUR BODY LANGUAGE SAY?

How you move, sit and stand all conveys something about you. Do you know what your body is saying to others? Here are some pointers for you.

POSTURE

Put your shoulders back, suck your stomach in. Bad posture gives off an air of timidity or sloth. A person sitting in a chair, slouching, does not project confidence and determination. It’s like your body saying, “Whatever.” Find a more upright way of sitting that still feels somewhat comfortable.

Whether sitting or standing, your body should be relaxed and open. Do not cross your arms or legs. While you may think it conveys a sense of ease, studies have shown that a people read a closed body differently: they subconsciously think you have something to hide. This is a golden opportunity to send a positive signal. In keeping your body open and your arms spread a little more widely than your torso, you offer openness and appear friendly.

YOUR HANDS

Clenching your fists can create two problems. First, the closed body issue: closed hands are just like closed bodies. Second, you could make some people think that you’re short-tempered and ready for a fight. I think we can agree this is the wrong signal. While hand-clenching for many is just a nervous habit, it’s one well worth training yourself to avoid. Force your hands open to send positive signals and convey a sense of being at ease with yourself and the conversation.

It’s natural to try to communicate with your hands and arms when speaking. Just don’t get carried away. Only use your body language for emphasis when you really want to accentuate a point. However, don’t point. No one likes being pointed at or having a finger wagged in their face.

Better ways to use your hands? The Karate Chop: Hand flattened with one or two gentle downward movements. The Bill Clinton: Former President Bill Clinton is a master of communication. Clinton often emphasized his points with his hands. He made a fist then moved his thumb over his index finger. He was still pointing, but with just the nub of his thumb extended, it was not aggressive like a full index finger is.

THE HANDSHAKE

The handshake is an opportunity to make a great impression. To begin with, you should endeavor to be the first to offer the handshake. When someone new comes in and says, your name (usually as a question) extend your hand and reply.

When the handshake begins, make sure you extend your arm without fear. If there is any hesitation on your part, you’ll end up shaking fingers. You want web-to-web contact. The “web” is the bridge of skin between thumb and point-finger. Aim for two pumps. Many more than that and your handshake partner will see you as exceedingly nervous (or that you’re trying to rip of their arm). Keep your hands dry. No clammy palms.

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

Furrowing your brow, shifty eyes and aggressive nodding will tend to convey the opposite of your intention. Furrowing the brows is also the facial expression for scorn or bewilderment. To avoid this tic, try opening your eyes a little wider when someone says something interesting or asks a question that makes you think. A positive action in response to a habit reduces the tic’s occurrence more than just trying not to do anything does.

To keep your eyes from shifting: make eye contact and rarely break it. This doesn’t mean you can’t blink (that would be even worse) and you can glance down from time to time. But looking the questioner directly in the eyes says, “I have nothing to hide.”

When you agree with someone, a natural reaction is to nod. When you’re nervous, people tend to exaggerate that. When you answer “yes” to a simple question, a fast, repetitive nod says that you’re nervous. A slow, short nod utilizes body language to emphasize something important, the point of agreement.

DISTRACTIONS

Maintaining focus in the interview or meeting can be difficult. Potential distractions should be seen as an opportunity to convey your professionalism and focus. If someone accidentally comes into the meeting room? Continue pleasantly looking at your target and stop speaking until the person excuses himself then resume speaking as if nothing happened. Don’t even mention it. You are so focused on what’s important, nothing can distract you.

SOLUTIONS

How do you move, sit and stand? What is your body saying to others? One way to know is to have a friend video a practice interview. Set it up with a table and practice questions. Have the camera pointed at you. Ask yourself: How does your smile look? Are you moving enough or too much? Do you look confident or tentative? Are your nerves showing through with fidgeting or overly aggressive gestures? A dress rehearsal can be invaluable for fixing some nervous habits. Then you too, can appear relaxed, confident and ready to do the job.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com