HOW TO GET GOING AGAIN

I am at a crossroads. I thought I knew what I was doing. As it turns out, maybe not. So here I sit, not knowing which road to take.

Have you been here before? Are you here now, at your own crossroads? What do you do when you are unable to move forward?

I am sure you have been stuck at some point. It is such a common dilemma. You can feel trapped. You may also feel unmotivated, which can be a vicious cycle of hopelessness about your situation. That, in turn, leaves you unfocused. Then you begin the vicious cycle all over again. Whew!

This is often a reason for a person to hire a coach. So, I decided to hire myself. Yes, coaches get stuck too. The process I am about to share is a result of years of working with clients and my own personal experiences of getting going again.

What Is Really Going On?

This is the first question to ask. I thought I knew what I was doing. That implies some research, or at the least some thinking about my choices. Am I really trapped? Or, is something else going on that is stopping me? As you know from reading me, coaching is all about the questions. Here are some to see if you are really stuck or if it is something else.

• Is it really fear? What am I afraid of?
• Do I really know how to begin doing it?
• Am I really just overwhelmed?

If those questions don’t get to the core issue(s), then perhaps thinking about these statements will help you.

• I know I can’t change someone else. If they would just … then I could …
• I don’t want to leave my comfort zone. We stay stuck when our fear of change is greater than our fear of pain. So, we stay the same, or go into a holding pattern.
• I just don’t want to deal with this right now. (Is it procrastination?)

Getting Going Again

Step one – stand up. Step two – open the door and talk a walk around the block; go to the gym; crank up the music and dance (no one is watching). Yep, the first step to curing what ails you is to begin physically moving. Look at the words we use: “being stuck” and “getting going.” It is all about movement.

It’s also time for a reality check. If you aren’t willing to move physically, you are choosing not to be helped. If that is your choice, take responsibility for it and go back to “What is Really Going On?” Figure out why you are making this choice. This sounds harsh. Sometimes the truth is harsh.

Getting your body moving will shift your energy from “can’t” to “can” do it. All sorts of possibilities and solutions will emerge. New ways of thinking and approaching the problem will surface.

Micro Steps

If you are still stuck, break it down into teeny tiny little steps. Really, so small that it feels silly. But, that one micro step will still move you forward. Taking one forward micro-step is closer to your goal than no step at all. Small steps become bigger steps. If you have two or three together, you have momentum. That’s when you become unstoppable.

Get a Carrot

What reward will get you going? Choose a meaningful reward so that it motivates you. Post a picture of it on the fridge. It can be one reward for the whole project or smaller rewards for goals along the way to the finish line.

Very important – when you accomplish your goal/project, give yourself the reward! The thing is, if you don’t give yourself the reward, you’ll stop believing in yourself. Don’t put yourself in that position.

Evaluation Time

Do you really need to do this thing? Do you “have” to do it? Or, would it just be “nice” to get it done? Sometimes, we forget about life as we now know it. Life has a completely new “normal” about it. Things we did five years ago might not be as valuable or meaningful to do now. The question now is, “What will happen if this doesn’t get done?” Imagine the range of the worst that will happen to the best outcome. Make your decision on that information.

Do YOU really need to do this thing? Can someone else do it? Can you trade with someone else? Can you delegate it to a family member, neighbor, or co-worker? If you know someone who loves to do “this,” it is really a favor to let them do it for you. Can you pay someone to do it for you? Make a decision based on this information.

Can you make it more pleasant? For example, if you are the only one who can do the gardening, get the new matching garden tools. Get a sturdy wheelbarrow for moving things and a gardening chair to sit comfortably while you work. The task is the same, but now you can enjoy the event.

Follow Up

It took longer to write this article than it usually does. I was practicing as I wrote, you see. Yes, I made my decision. You’ll hear about in the next two months. If I reveal too much now, you’ll just keep wondering, “Where is it?” Stay tuned.

This Week’s Coaching

Use the process above to determine your next step. Then ask yourself, “What single step can I take today (right now), to move myself forward and closer to my goals?” Then do it. Today.

What is your strategy to get going? Please share it below so we can all benefit from your experience.

A dream with a plan is a goal. A goal without a plan is just a dream.

All things are possible,

Elisabeth

Elisabeth Adler-Lund

Executive and Life Coaching

Telephone: 916 • 803•1494

E-mail: eal@EALCoaching.com